Chapter Six [Text]

[thebestseller]

Who: Richard Castle and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Windrose if you really want?
When: RIGHT NOW

It was my birthday on the first of the month, and normally I'd have celebrated it, but having my first birthday here and this planet having deadly air have made me want to come clean about something.

I think I might be dead back home.

I don't know for certain, and I never will know unless someone from back home shows up AND they're from further down my timeline. Which is looking less and less likely the longer I'm here.

I'm not asking anyone else to share if they're in the same boat if they don't want to, but I'm still figuring out how to process it, and like I said, it's been hitting me hard lately. So I had to get it out somewhere.

Comments

[thebestseller]

Hey!

[Castle jerked back in surprise once the fox jumped at him, but he just picked Officer Snuggles up and let the little fox live up to his name.]

I think I needed that.

[pain_train]

[Wrath limps up slowly.]

I kind of figured.

[Because that's some rough, heavy shit, man. She's had her own rough, heavy shit, though not quite like that.

She pats Castle on the arm.]

You're tough as hell, Castle.

[thebestseller]

[Castle smiled sadly, running his fingers through Officer Snuggles' fur.]

I'm glad you think so... I don't feel very tough right now, honestly.

[pain_train]

There's a lot of different ways to be tough.

But it's also okay to feel sad or angry or whatever. We're not under fire right now.

[HAVE A HUG! ]

[thebestseller]

[Castle accepted the hug, though as his arms were full of fox, he couldn't return it yet.]

Yeah, which is part of the reason I came out with this now. So I could get some help learning how to deal with it. I just... I wish I could know for sure.

[pain_train]

[It's okay, better for Castle to be at the center of a hug vortex, he needs it.]

Yeah, it would be better to know for sure. The not knowing makes things harder. I don't know how you'd find out, though. Maybe... maybe someone will respond and give you useful advice, since I know there are people around in a similar situation.

You guys could have a bowling league!

[Wrath no.]

[thebestseller]

[Castle had to chuckle that idea.]

Or at least have monthly meetings over coffee. But you're right... there's no way for me to find out, unless someone from home shows up. And considering how long I've been here without that happening, I'm not gonna hold my breath.

[pain_train]

It really does help to have people who know what you're going through. [She wishes she could help with that more.]

And you know your crew has your back no matter what, Castle. It's not the same as being home, but we've got you.