driftfleet | Chapter Six [Text]

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Chapter Six [Text]

Who: Richard Castle and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Windrose if you really want?
When: RIGHT NOW

It was my birthday on the first of the month, and normally I'd have celebrated it, but having my first birthday here and this planet having deadly air have made me want to come clean about something.

I think I might be dead back home.

I don't know for certain, and I never will know unless someone from back home shows up AND they're from further down my timeline. Which is looking less and less likely the longer I'm here.

I'm not asking anyone else to share if they're in the same boat if they don't want to, but I'm still figuring out how to process it, and like I said, it's been hitting me hard lately. So I had to get it out somewhere.

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[... Okay. Clay thinks a lot about this post, and about how it echoes his own securities that he's been trying his best to not address. So it takes him a while to answer, before he builds up enough (what? courage? morbid curiosity?) whatever to answer, though he'll make it anonymous so that no one who knows him will snoop.]

i don't know

there's a chance i might be but

i try not to think about it

Me, either- there's nothing I can do to change it either way, you know? But it raises a lot of questions- like can Atroma bring someone back to life?

[Or at least Kitty really wants to just find him in person. It's better than admitting things over the network where unintended people might hear. Especially when there are some people she really should be telling first, but they aren't the ones looking for death buddies. She finds him in the kitchen. ~~Or wherever you prefer even.~~]

Hey. Saw your message.

[uuuuugh this conversation's already making him uncomfortable, maybe he shouldn't have even tried.]

It seems impossible, right?

I don't know. it's been the biggest question of my life that I've been trying to ignore

I've heard of places that can bring people back to life if they're killed -there- but i don't know about... the other way around

I don't think there is a right way to process it. Or rather, the right way is different for everyone.

I mean, I'm in the same situation and...well, I'm alive now. That's what matters to me.

Yeah, where I come from it's definitely impossible. It's just the stuff of science fiction- the dead are meant to stay dead.

So either you and I survived, or... Atroma has found a way to conquer death. Which just adds a whole other layer of "do not want".

[Castle was actually under the kitchen table when Kitty came in, on his hands and knees, watching his cleaning bots work. Hey, it was better than thinking. However, upon hearing her voice, he hauled himself up.]

I'm not entirely sure that posting about it was the right thing to do, but it's been eating at me.

Yeah... that's a good way to think about it. Live in the now and try not to fret too much about what might happen when I go home.

I guess this came up because my birthday made me think about my family. My fiance. My daughter. My mom. And the idea that I might have left them.

[Okay he was getting the belated birthday streamers ready but then Castle went and said that and that gives him reason to pause. Okay. No parties. This required the good old fashioned way of making people feel better. He's not exactly GREAT at it, but he's been getting better, and he really, really wants his friend to feel a little better, so off he goes to the Windrose.

It doesn't matter where Castle is on the Windrose, Cheese is going there. He doesn't even have the very present rubber chicken on his back this time, either. Because this? This is serious pick-up-a-buddy business. Even more serious help than even Boneless Two can provide.

So hey, Castle, have a tiny pony walking over to sit beside you.]

So. That's a whole lot of sucky you're dealing with right now.

I am sorry, if this is so. I hope it is not true.

Why do you believe it?

[She is even going to act like that wasn't super strange. It was though. For the record, it was.]

I'm not sure there's a right way to do this. It's not your average problem. I mean, what do you? Call everyone individually who you want to tell? And then what if you forget someone or just stopped to have dinner first and someone else finds out not from you. Suddenly it's like the high school version of telling everyone you're dead. [That's not a thing, Kitty.]

[Castle settled himself into a chair as Kitty spoke, and he considered her point before nodding agreement.]

That's a pretty good way to put it, actually. And maybe someone might see it and find out they're not alone, you know? That was part of my motivation for asking about it. I just... don't want to feel like I'm the only one dealing with this.

[Castle had been in the cargo bay at the time with some outdoor gear, thinking about going out and picking a fight to let off some aggression, when Cheese arrived. Setting the stuff down, he smiled at his friend.]

That's about the size of it. I feel a little weird being so public about it, but I figured I might as well just... put it out there. Find out if I'm not alone.

Long story very short, I'd inhaled a biological weapon that was of the "will kill me within 24 hours" type. I'd been getting near the end of my time and blacked out, then... woke up here.

[She takes a chair too and then says the next sentence slowly.]

You're not even the only one in this room.

[So, yeah, there's that.] I mean, I've had it confirmed. I don't have to wonder. [She actually thinks the not knowing for sure would be harder.]

I admit that's troubling. I hope someone was able to get you prompt medical attention. I presume you were treated on the Marsiva when you came here?

[Castle closed his eyes and inhaled.]

... Thanks for feeling comfortable sharing that with me. Did you know when you came here or... did someone tell you?

My fiancee was close to getting the cure, yeah... but I don't know if she actually got it or not.

If they did treat me, I'm not sure. I woke up feeling fit and healthy, like nothing was wrong.

I found out at the prison, so I've known for about a year. When Kurt from home got here he accused me of impersonating a dead woman so if there was doubt left that's gone now. [The wardens could have just been playing games with her before, but while she always kept that in mind she found herself believing it.]

How did you find out? Is it just the last thing you remember seemed pretty unsurvivable?

[Misty's not much one for texting, especially not when the person's right here with her so not too soon after she sees Castle's text on the network, she'll come floating on in wherever he is (you choose!).]

Hey Castle... if you still need someone to talk to you about dyin' well... I reckon there ain't no better person than me.

_{[ Usually, he doesn't like talking about this subject. He avoids it, really, and so far had admitted it to only one person, and that was only because he felt she needed to know in order to potentially treat him if something happened. Otherwise, he kept it to himself.

But reading this... well, it seemed a reason to break that silence. He could talk about it, he simply did not like to. ]}

My situation is a little different, but I do know what it's like. If you want to talk about it, I'll listen, though I'm not sure I can offer much advice.

it's definitely impossible for me too. i mean

[No, wait, talking about how spirits work in his world might give him away. Moving on...]

every time I try to think about it I just

I feel nauseous

it's like this wave of - well, "do not want"

it's just easier to think i survived

I mean i don't remember what happened so maybe

well that sucks

what happened?

Ah...yeah. I could see why having a family would make it more difficult to think about.

[He didn't have a family back home. Just an Order that he knows even if he lived, he couldn't return to.]

I hope that you didn't...if that means anything.

It's a long story, but I inhaled a biological weapon of the "would kill me in 24 hours" type. My fiance was close to getting the crook who had the cure, but I blacked out before I could see if she got it.

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Chapter Six [Text]

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[action, BECAUSE I REALLY WANT!]

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