006 - Ode to a Superhero

[preformthisneigh]

Who: Cheese Sandwich, Pinkie Pie and EVERYONE. IT'S A PARTY
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Iskaulit
When: Today!

[Video: Encrypted from Pinkie Pie]

[Cheese appears on the screen with a wide grin and a wave of his hoof.]

Hey everypony!! Today is a super duper awesome day! It's Pinkie Pie's birthday! I know she's pretty new to the Fleet and all, but I've thrown her a little shindig and I'm sure she'd love as many of you lovely folks if you could show up. She will for sure pay it back in kind when your celebrations come up. I mean, if you think I'm a good party planner, you wait til you see her.

So yeah! If you wanna come celebrate her birthday, come on down to the Iskaulit. I'm gonna be bringing her over at about seven. It's gonna be a surprise!!

[Action: Iskaulit]

[And those coming aboard the Iskaulit will find glitterly arrows stuck to the walls, leading them to the room where Cheese has set up the "little shindig". There are balloons and streamers everywhere, bunting and banners hangs from the ceiling - all bearing the face of the aforementioned pink pony. Food tables stand to one side, filled with delicious (but vegetarian) dishes, while another table holds more deserts and treats than you could ever imagine. The center-piece is a birthday cake which seems to be in the shape of an aligator. But Cheese isn't actually that great at the culinary arts despite his name, so it's kind of hard to tell.

Regardless, it's clear a lot of effort has gone into this, and the theme PINKIE IS GREAT is perhaps a little too obvious. But this is what happens when you put others on pedestals. Time to party like they're not on a bunch of spaceships trapped in a reality TV show for the rest of time. Woooo!]

Comments

[bb_wolf]

[Oh dear sweet mercy, there's going to be two of them egging each other on.]

... I'm not much for parties.

[spontaneouscombustion]

[Surprisingly, he gets an understanding smile in return.]

Aw, that's okay. I can do quieter celebrations too. What kind of stuff DO you like?

[Pays to have quite a few introverts in her life.]

[bb_wolf]

[He likes chasing down massive prey animals and eating until he's almost bloated.

But that feels like it's beyond inappropriate to say to a prey animal.]

Sleeping. Reading. People watching.

[spontaneouscombustion]

[Astronomically inappropriate.]

Those are nice too! My best friend Twilight LOVES books! She even used to live in our library!

[Before it... got destroyed by a literally power-hungry centaur.]

[bb_wolf]

[He's never gone that far. Reading just passes time and helps him keep learning, about people.]

How do you turn pages with hooves?

[spontaneouscombustion]

Oh, that's easy! Like this!

[And she... just happens to pull a book out of nowhere, cracks it open, and then starts turning the pages by somehow taking one in the crook of the fetlock joint.]

Sometimes we use our teeth instead, and unicorns can just turn the pages with their magic!

[bb_wolf]

[.... no.]

Where did you get that? How do you even- No, answer that first one. Where did you get that?

[spontaneouscombustion]

Oh, I had it on me when the Atroma brought me here! There's this GREAT bookstore in Canterlot that REALLY helped Twilight build her bookcases back up when Tirek destroyed the library!

[bb_wolf]

That is not even remotely what I meant!

You don't have pockets. Where were you keeping that book?!

[spontaneouscombustion]

[Dude, it's hammerspace. If she gives you an explanation, it'll break the universe. ALL of the universes.]

Ohhhhh that-- Well it's-- Oooooooooh is that a piñata?!

[Aaaand there goes her attention span.]

[bb_wolf]

[... Bigby stares at her. It's the line face stare.]

You sure you're not a Fable?

[spontaneouscombustion]

[She gets those quite a bit. And she has NO idea what a Fable is either so...]

Uh, no, I'm pretty sure I'm a real pony, silly~

[bb_wolf]

No, a Fable is someone from the Homelands. Like me.

[spontaneouscombustion]

The Homelands? Hmmm no, neither of those sound too familiar. What are they?

[bb_wolf]

They're where all us Fables come from. Snow White, Prince Charming, Jack, useless fucking waste of space that he is, even me.

Blue calls us the Fairytale lands.

1/2

[spontaneouscombustion]

[Her eyebrow's still raised and she even tilts her head as he lists off those names; not ringing a single bell and what the heck was that word in between "useless" and "space"--]

2/2

[spontaneouscombustion]

[And then he says a more familiar f-word!]

OHHHHH you guys are fairy tales?! That's so cool~! Huh, never heard of any of those before!

[Although Snow White sounds like a run-of-the-mill pony name.]

[bb_wolf]

[He blinks slowly and then nods.]

I'm the Big, Bad Wolf.

[And gives a lazy yawn, showing all those very big, sharp teeth.]

[spontaneouscombustion]

Wow, those are some big sharp teeth!

[Big sharp teeth... and just a hint of doggy breath too. Pinkie pulls out a tiny, rod-shaped, pale green pill from... once again, nowhere in particular.]

Tic Tac?

[bb_wolf]

[Bigby stares at that display and then huffs, just a bit stronger.

Very oddly... his breath has something of mountain air and pine about it when he does. Also, because he's not a complete savage and does routinely clean his teeth.]

I don't trust something I can't see where it came from.

[spontaneouscombustion]

[Ooh, it does smell nice. And that's why she's only offering the one tiny candy instead of, like, a whole box of Icebreakers.]

Well that's a little silly! What if somebody sends you a present and it's wrapped but you don't know where they bought it?

[bb_wolf]

... I've never had a present. Never been an issue.

[spontaneouscombustion]

[GAAAASP!]

You've NEVER had a present?! EVER?!

[Good grief, it's like he just admitted to killing small children for funsies.]

[bb_wolf]

[... not for funsies...]

No. Why would I?

[spontaneouscombustion]

But-- but what about birthdays?! Holidays?! Just-because-days?! A PACK OF GUM?!

[CHEEEEEESE WHY HAS THIS WOLFIE NOT HAD A PARTY?!]