Happy Birthday From the Dark Side!

[spontaneouscombustion]

Who: Finn, Pinkie Pie, and YOU!
Broadcast: EVERYWHERE!
Action: The Caprine, especially the bridge.
When: Today~

[Video: Encrypted from Finn]



[HOLY COW that is a huge pink pony grin in your face!]

Gooood morning, everybody~! Gueeeess who's birthday it is today~? If you guessed Finn, then you'd be right! AND you'd be invited to his super special first EVERY birthday party on the Caprine! If you guessed wrong, don't worry, you're invited anyway! There'll be cake and ice cream and music and games and lots and LOTS of blue fizzy drinks! Hope we see you there~!


[Action]



[While Pinkie has Poe distract Finn for most of the day, this little party pony's hard at work making this the best (and only) birthday this ex-Storm Trooper's ever had! As advertised, the whole ship is decorated bow to stern with streamers and lights and balloons. There's music throughout all the speakers, dancing and games on the bridge, and SO MANY TREATS in the kitchen. There's mild and spicy nachos, salsa, cubes of spiky blue fruit that tastes like cantaloupe, candy, and HUGE birthday cake made from as many real ingredients as Pinkie could get her hooves on. There's also a HUGE punch bowl with Pinkie's best punch recipe, and pre-poured cups of what looks like some blue fizzy milkshake. Knock yourselves out, guys, and help Finn have the best birthday ever since the First Order is made of jerks!]

Comments

[beardstrokes]

It's certainly more cheerful than my birthday.

[forcesensitive]

Did you have a party? Did I miss it?

[He's pretty sure he didn't hear anything about one....]

[beardstrokes]

Not a party. But when we are younger, our Jedi Masters often provide a token of sorts.

[ Obi-Wan got a rock. ]

[forcesensitive]

[Wow, a rock. Thrilling.]

Oh. Yeah, Pinkie said something about birthday presents, but--well, I never really had much, so I didn't know what to ask for. It's enough that people show up here.

[beardstrokes]

And now? Nothing comes to mind?

[forcesensitive]

I'm still on the lookout for Kyber crystals, but I'd let you Jedi get the first dibs on them if I did find 'em.

Other than that I guess I still don't really know.

[beardstrokes]

That's kind of you, Finn. Hopefully, there'll be enough to spare.

[forcesensitive]

Yeah. Nobody's heard of 'em, though.

[beardstrokes]

[ He runs a hand through his beard. ]

I've noticed. We're very far from our galaxy. There might be a substitute around with the same name though.

[forcesensitive]

Oh--I guess I didn't think of that.

[He looks sheepish.]

Not that I could really tell one by how it looks, anyway.

[beardstrokes]

Kyber crystals are special. Even the way the Jedi find them are special. It involves looking deeper into the Force and finding the right match.

[ He folds his arms. ] There is a planet known as Illum where we take our younglings to choose their very own crystal. What they see there, what they can overcome helps them find the best crystal suited to their unique personalities.

[forcesensitive]

Not going to be in the weapons market then, huh.

[But then he brightens up.]

I know it's not gonna be the same planet, but--maybe we can find one with the right conditions somewhere.

[beardstrokes]

[ He frowns lightly, not because of Finn, but because of their last trip to Utapau. ]

There was one large enough . . . Anakin and I destroyed it in our last mission.

[forcesensitive]

The whole planet?

[Jedi don't do that.]

Or just the--like the mine, or whatever?

[beardstrokes]

No, sorry, I meant a kyber crystal large enough to be weaponized. We certainly have no power to destroy planets. No one has that.

[forcesensitive]

[He relaxes.] Oh, I got it.

[he bites his lip.]

--There are some that get weaponized. Later. Actually, I shot some of them off the Finalizer with Poe.

[beardstrokes]

[ Obi-Wan freezes. ]

What?

[forcesensitive]

[He nods.]

They're used in the turbolasers by the Super Star Destroyers of the First Order. I--when I found Poe, he was on the flagship. We had to get past the turbolasers to stand a chance.

[according to the junior novelization anyway they're made out of kyber crystals idk]

[beardstrokes]

[ It's possible. Although, it rankles to hear that. Even the Sith were not so cavalier with kyber crystals. They weren't simply powerful, they were dangerous if handled incorrectly. ]

I see. I suppose that's not too extreme.

[forcesensitive]

It's still dangerous, but they're pretty short-range for space weapons.

[beardstrokes]

That's good to know. Kyber crystals can't hold a heavy charge.

[forcesensitive]

[That makes sense.]

So a lightsaber is a pretty light charge for it?

[beardstrokes]

For the most part. If I directed two more power sources at it, the crystal would easily implode.

[forcesensitive]

[That would be a waste of a good kyber crystal.]

Must be why the hilts are so sturdy, then. If they don't get messed with, they can last a long time, though. I know the one I held on to had to have been at least fifty or sixty years old.

[beardstrokes]

That's . . . a long time, even for a lightsaber. Whose was it?