Tourist ROAD TRIP (mingle)

[takingkarabusiness]

Who: Touristas and visitors
Broadcast: as needed
Action: The Tourist!
When: The month of June

[ Get bit by the June Bug and mingle to your heart's content! ]

Comments

[wolfuncaged]

[Fenris is in turn surprised by Anders' surprise. Or rather..his genuine attempt at an apology. That was...strange to see in Anders, and it rather unsettled the elf. It's just another reminder that this is a different man to the one he knows in Kirkwall. Not entirely different, mind, but not having the spirit on board makes a big difference. There's a thirst...an anger there that he's used to that, while still existing in this Anders is far less focused and driven.

He's still an asshole. But not as big as one as he will be. ]

No. You didn't know.

[Which is about as close as he'll ever get to accepting an apology from Anders. ]

I am not being spiteful when I speak of my dislike of magic. In Tevinter, such a lesson is learned hard. Elves are usually in the firing line for such things.

[apurrstate]

[Anders is silent far longer than he usually is in the presence of another person. He should go, he should just leave before whatever stillness is in the room snaps.

But he can't help wanting to know. He'd gotten to know and care for each and every one of his travelling companions, no matter their differences. Clearly Fenris knew him from before or in the future, but how? And why all the animosity before he'd even said two words?]

Magic hurt you, you hate it. I get that. I don't know a person that isn't like that.

[Himself included.]

But is that why you hate me? Because I'm a mage? I hadn't said anything to you and you greeted me as though I'd brandished a staff in your face.

[wolfuncaged]

[Oh, Anders. Anders, Anders, Anders, do you really want to open that can of worms? Fenris bristles, inhaling sharply, before releasing it slowly. ]

Magic didn't just hurt me, it scarred me. Did you think I was born with lyrium burned into my flesh? My former master branded me with it, turned me into his living weapon, to prove that his magic-

[Okay, no, he's getting loud and people are sleeping. He takes another deep, calming breath. Don't punch Anders. ]

You may not know me, but I have known you for a decade. In all that time, all you have cared about is the plight of mages- ignoring the fact that some are dangerous, that some have to be in the circle for the protection of everyone. All you cared about was your cause, and damn anyone who disagreed with you. No matter how magic harmed any of us, you were determined to force your point of view upon us all. Myself included.

[Fenris knows he wasn't much better, not in the early days, but even he learned to accept there were decent mages in the world. Bethany was one of them. But he'd stand by the need for the circles forever. He knows only too well what happens when magic goes unchecked. Anders is a prime example of that.]

You seemed to think Tevinter was an acceptable way of living.

[apurrstate]

[Lyrium! That made more sense, why he was sensing something strange from the marks. Magic in it's raw form.

But then Fenris goes on about this other him, this version Anders was steadily beginning to suspect wasn't really him at all. How could it be when everything listed about him sounded foreign and wrong? It made him bristle in turn, rubbed the wrong way by a man he hadn't even met and never wanted to.]

I don't know what you're talking about! Of course there's bad mages, blood mages, Uldred, your former master, many others. They're people and people can be cruel, no matter what abilities they have.

What I don't understand is why I keep getting compared to a man who sounds nothing like me! He's bad, he's good, he heals people freely, he dismisses others pain, he fails at the very things I find important and you're lumping me in with him. I want nothing to do with him!

If you're going to hate me, hate me for who I am, not for whatever this man supposedly is.

[He wants to run, he wants to hide from this outpour of feelings he hadn't expected to have and certainly not in front of Fenris of all people. He was no different than the Hawkes or Cole or Varric when he was here. They all expected something from him and he didn't even know what.

He runs a hand down his face.]

I hate the circles, it's true. I've never met a kind templar. I don't know if all mages should be free, I've never asked myself that. I can't do anything about it, all I want is my own freedom. To escape the people who scarred me. So judge me for that.

[wolfuncaged]

[This- this is not what he was expecting. Fenris isn't sure how to react to this. He's spent ten long years wanting nothing more than to ram Anders' head into a brick wall continuously. He's learned to truly, truly hate the man. Not as much as those who held him captive for so long, but not far off, either.

But he's right. That's not the man before him. This Anders is younger, different. He's not as driven, or rather...not as blindly driven. The circles, getting rid of the Templars, these are not causes he's taken up. He's not become some preaching lunatic, willing to destroy anything that gets in the way of his goals. ]

...Not being an abomination makes a marked difference in you.

[This is...difficult, though. Fenris is nothing but a creature of habit. It's why he remained in Kirkwall for so long. Changing the course of things once he's set himself upon them is not easy for him. He becomes used to How Things Are and does not adapt well when they suddenly become different.

He knows what this younger Anders is saying is right, but fighting back the desire to snark a response, to threaten violence...it's not easy. ]

You are correct, you are not the man I know back in Thedas any more than Marian or Adalwolfe are the Hawke I know. Perhaps you will become him, perhaps you won't. Only time will tell. But I have known that Anders for a long time. It is very difficult to come to terms that you are, indeed, a different man.

[apurrstate]

['Not being an abomination makes a marked difference on you.'

Fenris might as well have punched him in the gut, it would have had the same affect with how the air was suddenly out of his lungs and the wind taken from his sails. He couldn't even be happy with the fact Fenris had said he was right.

An abomination.

Adalwolfe had said he'd taken Justice into himself, made a host for his friend so he didn't die.

Cole said spirits don't change. People change them. Justice. Vengeance. Rage.

Was that why he didn't recognize himself in his own supposed future? He wasn't Anders anymore, but instead some warped demon bred of one poor decision to help someone he cared about? One decision that, instead of protecting Justice, had allowed the spirit to live out his worst fear.]

I think- I need to go.

Goodnight, Fenris.

[He barely glanced up at the elf before turning to leave. Win some lose some, he'd come to understand Fenris a little more and himself even less.

[wolfuncaged]

[Fenris feels something akin to pity for Anders...which really doesn't sit well with him at all. He's not used to feeling anything other than raw, seething hatred for the man. But that is the Anders he knows. This one...this one is younger, has not made the mistakes that turn the Anders he knows into the mess of a man that brings Kirkwall and Thedas itself to the bring of destruction.

He's not that Anders. Not yet.

Still, Fenris won't stop him from leaving. He doesn't feel that much pity. He merely nods , going back to his book.]

As you wish.