driftfleet | 006 - action/voice; i came in like troy walking in with pizza

Who: Clay Terran + You people
Broadcast: Yes!
Action: On the Iskaulit
When: June 7th, a bit after this

[You know, Clay hadn't been expecting a day like this. All he was doing was going to the Iskaulit to do some workouts in the gym, even bopping to a tune playing in his head.

Of course, that all comes a stop when he sees the mess before he sees anyone else. Blood trailing through the hallway, like someone had been walking with it. His stomach churns a bit, and his first instinct is to flee and get someone with medical help. Like Jennifer, or Beverly, or...

But no, he's here, and he... doesn't really realize just how bad it is yet. He returns to his shuttle first to grab the first-aid box, then heads in to see who needs his help.

And upon following the trail, well... Turns out, it's a lot worse than he thought it'd be, and that instinct from before comes back full force. He's only had some lessons, he's not prepared for this level of medical trauma, he really isn't -

And that's why he'll be calling out on the comms - not video, because there are kids on the network, but it's pretty clear by the state of his shaky voice that this is definitely an emergency.]

I-I need doctors - healers, medics -

[He takes in a deep breath - ]

I need all medical personnel to the Iskaulit right now!

((ooc: Everyone's free to branch off, tag other threads, etc! This is a general rescue/medical aid post for Winter's wrecking ball.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Damn the man but he's right. Hawke's legitimately tried to keep this at an uncomplicated for Anders but not just because that's easier for the spirit healer. Because it's easier for him to be able to walk away or hide and try not to think about it. But all that does is what Anders says to him here. It comes out in bursts and confuses the both of them, it rocks the ground right out from underneath worse than any earthquake and leaves them flat on their backs with no choice but to get up again and weather the next tremor.

He can't let it continue, but he also doesn't know what to say. What can he say that won't send Anders into a self-deprecating spiral that he knows the mage is prone to. He's been there for it more than once. Only that was - is - in Anders' future. Not his present, and Hawke has lamented to himself more than once how different the mage is, but maybe for this it will be a help.

Adalwolfe stands there for a moment and breathes in at a measured pace. Holds it for a moment. Breathes out at an equally measured pace. Something of the tension around him fades; not gone, just pushed into the background, and he turns to face Anders.]

I'm sorry. You're right. I haven't been fair.

[A beat to let that sink in, to allow them to stand on equal ground before Hawke continues.]

I don't know where the field is level. If I did, I would go that route in a heartbeat, but I don't. I don't know what I should tell you or what I shouldn't because I've already said to much to others and it's turned out poorly.

[He presses his thumb and forefinger into his closed eyes for a moment, trying to think.]

You're so different from the man I met, from the man I...

[Now or never, and he knows already by the sound of it.]

I fell in love with. Still am in love with, but I know that you have no idea who I am. Not really, and it's unfair to put that on you. I don't blame you, but it is difficult for me to stand here and pretend that it isn't my present, which is what I had thought to do. If that's what you would prefer, please just tell me now.

[Another breath.]

As for Justice, it's... far more complicated than being hurt. I don't even know if I understand it entirely, or if I have any right to even give my opinion on it. I've never known if I had that right. I know that's cryptic but once a thing is said, you have that knowledge. You can't just forget it, and I don't want to cause more irreparable damage. Especially not to you.

[He feels like he stands on a ledge and is slowly losing his balance on it with each word Anders can hear coming before Hawke's even said it. And then he does say it and that balance is gone, leaving his stomach to lurch in the fall.

No, mages didn't fall in love, they couldn't. Sex, flirting, kisses, they were a game but love was not a mere trifle.

Beyond all that, he was already spoken for. Anders' heart was already gone, spirited to Kirkwall against his will and now here came Hawke saying, at some point in his future, he held it instead. Hadn't he wished for no more Games from Hawke? He wished this were that, but the emotion was plain as day on the other mage's face.

Anders shook his head, feeling more lost than he'd felt upon hearing about Justice. He cared for the spirit, thought of him as a friend he wished to protect and help, but Karl was something else entirely. Karl was his lifeline, his beacon of hope, more of his best friend than even Riona.]

No, Karl...that wasn't what Varric-

[No, Varric hadn't said anything. He'd said Anders went to Kirkwall and that had been enough for Anders to spin a delusional story of granduer where he busted into Kirkwall's Circle wearing his Gray Warden armor and conscripted Karl out from under the First Enchanter's nose, a story ended nicely with them spending the rest of their days happily with the Wardens and free. How ridiculous.

There was only one reason he'd have moved on.]

Karl...he's dead, isn't he? Dead or worse. The letters he'd sent me about Kirkwall's circle, I didn't think- [He placed a hand to his head and fought off the urge to be sick.

Hawke was surely a nice person, all things considered, this wasn't his fault. Anders wouldn't snap at him again. He just didn't think he could face him right now either. If he wasn't with Karl in his future, then that meant Anders had failed him horribly.]

Dead, not worse.

[He can't in good conscience tell Anders the full breadth of it, how Karl had been made Tranquil, how Anders had somehow reestablished his connection to the fade only to have the man beg to kill him. He's already watched the blond grieve over it before, there's no point in adding to it now.]

I'm so sorry.

[He wants to hold Anders, knowing the pain of loss all too keenly. His sister, his mother, Fenris...

He settles for placing a tentative hand on Anders' shoulder.]

I see. [He'd known already, but it was still something else to hear it said. There was still a small mercy in the fact it wasn't 'worse.'

His thoughts were a jumble, but one thing he knew was that he couldn't stay here in this hallway, looking at a man who'd become far more complicated in only a few words. He doesn't move from the hand on his shoulder, instead he tries to piece together a small smile that takes a lot more effort than it would normally. It was an attempt at his usual facade, but it took too much to force.]

Thank you for finally telling me. It makes a little more sense now. You, I mean.

[His hand goes to his hair and he steps away from Hawke's touch.]

I-ah...I should find Jon he's surely wondering where I've gone, we should get back... [He nods as though his prattling made sense.]

I'm sorry. I'll see you, Hawke.

[When he thought he could manage it without feeling that clawing in his throat.]

Edited 2016-06-24 20:57 (UTC)

Yes. Of course.

[It's all he can manage to say to Anders' retreating back. He feels chewed up and spit out, as if he'd just fought a long and arduous battle rather than have a conversation.

If this is what it's going to be like, he's not certain how long he can stomach being around Anders, and that alone makes him feel just a bit ill.]

006 - action/voice; i came in like troy walking in with pizza

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Action; wrap!