driftfleet | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: Wrath (and maybe you?)
Broadcast: Entire fleet
Action: Windrose medlab, she ain't goin anywhere
When: June 11 (four days after this mess)

[Text]

extra large protein lovers pizza
++ spicy soypperoni
+ red chilies
++ mazer beer ipa or equivalent 1 6pack

5 strippers
pref male
++ purple body glitter
++ portable sound system
+ boa constrictor

deliver to: lt wrath, windrose

[Audio]

[She doesn’t quite know how bad she looks, but she knows how bad she feels. There is no way the people in the fleet need to see this. So it’s audio only. Wrath’s words slur faintly, like someone who is profoundly tired rather than drunk. Chems do that to her.]

Hey everyone. Um. I had an accident and I’m gonna be… down for a little while. I know I wanted to do a coffee thing for all my brother soldiers but… that’s gonna have to wait. Til I’m on my feet again. Really sorry, guys. But it’ll happen. Just a little later.

Anyway like last time I was in traction I just ordered pizza and strippers, but I tried to do that here and it doesn’t work? And there’s no pudding or nurses. So I’m kind of super bored since I can’t move around right now. So anyone want to like… watch vids or play games or something? I could maybe figure out how to do chess on the network. Or ask someone for help. Or tell stories. Or like. Visitors would be nice? Yeah.

Officer Snuggles says hi, everyone. [The fox yips.] And. Um. Bye~

[Action]

[Wrath, almost completely immobilized in traction to keep her spine from crumbling completely, occupies the Windrose’s medlab for the timebeing, Officer Snuggles normally curled up on the corner of the bed when he’s not out patrolling. Wrath herself looks like hell, nasty bruises and stitched up head and facial lacerations, her left eye’s sclera still crimson. But she’s doing her best to maintain a positive attitude. There’s not really anything else for her to do.

Visitors are what she really, really wants. Being stuck in bed and unable to move around and really touch anything is starting to eat at her badly. It’s a vague sort of unease, blurred out by the drugs, but it’s definitely not doing her anxiety levels any good. Before the ports are removed, nothing feels right anyway, which is another sort of alarming. She's got the painting frame for entertainment beyond staring at the ceiling, but her fine motor control is terrifyingly lacking, and she doesn't think she can blame it all on the drugs.

And Winter… she’s not thinking about what actually happened if she can help it. That wasn’t Winter. He wasn’t at home when that all went down. It was a fight, she survived, everything is okay now. She’s tough as hell. She’s not going to think about how it feels like falling. She’s not going to think about how last time, Compliance showed up and tried to take her right out of her hospital bed. She’s not going to drive herself crazy with worry about how Winter is doing and if everyone is treating him okay and if everyone gets it wasn’t his fault. And she’s sure as hell not going to think about how next time, it might be her turn.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think I still have the dress from the masquerade in my cabin? It wasn't the best tailoring ever, but it wasn't bad. [Enthusiasm levels growing~] Really? Yeah! This'll be so much fun. I love like... working with color. We're gonna make some awesome stuff.

We should totally make a pretty dress for Kitty first, just because. And then you can like take her out to the Iskaulit and have a nice dinner or something.

[ he should. she'd like that, he knows. but the thought of going back to the iskaulit...he's just not ready. ]

Let's start with you - I just gave Kitty a gift, if I don't space them out, I'm gonna start looking obsessive.

Oh, okay! [No idea about the Iskaulit thing. But... she has odd ways of thinking about things, strange blind spots.] Gives us more time to think about it anyway.

[ he's never seen so much blood in his life, anyone as hurt as her..he only came with the medics, and still he's traumatized. ]

Exactly! So what kinda dress do you want? What's your favorite color?

[ that's so much easier for him to deal with than all the real and serious feelings he's feeling, ok. and it's something he can do for her, he's so desperate to do something. ]

[If Wrath knew Winn had seen her, she'd feel incredibly bad about it. Probably for the best.]

I like really flowy dresses, you know? And my favorite color is pink!

[ winn's certainly not going to tell her! ]

Pink and flowy -- I can do that. Do you like them with or without sleeves? The whole dress as one piece, or do you want patterns, change of colors, anything you want - just say it.

Hm... let's do some drawings!

[She turns on the frame and pulls up a blank canvas on the holographic display. She has to make everything tiny so she can do everything she needs with such limited movement of her fingers, but there's a larger projected image for both of them to look at. She sketches a quick, vague outline of herself and starts adding some pink flowy stuff.]

I mean... I think we want multiple colors to break things up or it's like... too pink. And I don't normally say that.

[ he smiles as he watches her work ]

You're really good at this.

Nah, I just like... played around with stuff like this a lot the last time I was in traction. Practice makes things easy!

[She adds in some soft orange and a bit of yellow.]

I tend to... I like sunset colors. But I think I get stuck on them too much, so maybe I should try something different.

Practice makes you good.

[ his voice softens, as his eyes sadden. it's heartbreaking for him to think she has to go through this now, so that it's happened before? that, most like with the kind of life she's had to live, it'll happen again? there are so many things wrong with their worlds, with all their worlds, but no one should ever have to talk about being that grievously injured so casually. ]

We can do both - I can make you one dress in some other colors, and one dress in your colors, in case you don't like the change after all.

[ he'll make her a whole wardrobe if it'll make her happy about now. he feels so fundamentally guilty that there isn't anything significant he can do. ]

...true. You don't get good without training hard.

[Aw, what is that sad look? Everything's okay, Winn. It's her job.]

I don't wanna take up too much of your time, since there's just one of you and lots of people that would probably like pretty dresses and t-shirts. So one thing at a time. [She smiles.]

You pick a color.

But not everyone who trains get this good. You're talented.

[ it doesn't make it ok, though.

he'd argue, but the truth is he is swamped; he's taking care of kitty, he's restoring kara's powers, he's trying to find a way to get them all out of here before this happens again, he's going to make medical supply bags, he's working on superhero uniforms for his friends, he has his projects with cisco...the list goes on and on and on.

but it's ok though, because he really doesn't see himself getting much sleep anytime soon, with the sights on the iskaulit so fresh in his mind. ]

Alright, how about we start with a blue-purple mix? It's still close, but a little different. Or if you wanna go off book, we can try green?

[You're making her blush, Winn. Literally.] Aw, thanks. It's a good hobby to have.

[She's tried to explain it to Charles, before. She has the easy job, because all she has to do is bleed and maybe die. That's the easy stuff. People like Winn and Charles who are good at other things get the hard job; they have to survive getting their hearts broken again and again and keep going.][Green dress and pink hair is a weird potential contrast, but depending on the shade... she clears off the previous pinks and oranges and tries a few different greens, thoughtful.]

Are you okay, Winn?

[ it makes him smile a little even as it breaks his heart - she seems so genuinely sweet. it's not fair. ]

It really is.

[ he watches her work curiously. if his heart was breaking before, it's nothing compared to the indescribable pain in his chest when she asks if he's ok. what right does he have not to be ok? what kind of terrible person is he, constantly making these people - these heroes - who already put everyone else's well being ahead of their own and get hurt - worry about him? he really does feel like the weakest person on the fleet but at the same time, he doesn't want to be strong. if he becomes strong, he might become desensitized. and that's a step too close to turning into his father, into a murderer. he raises his gaze to meet hers once more, trying to smile as brightly as he can manage. ]

I'm fine. Hey I just remembered - I also got a pretty nice looking silvery fabric - that'd go well with any color.

Silver's good. Like highlighting especially...

[Let's play with that a little, maybe some irregular bits in the skirt, reminiscent of the silver lining of a cloud?]

[Her tone is actually very kind as she continues on, for all her vocabulary is rough as always:] Don't bullshit me, Winn. I'm an M.I. dumbass but Charles says I'm like... emotionally intelligent, whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. But it does seem to mean I can smell bullshit a mile off.

[She adds another bit of silver highlighting.] It's all right if you're not okay, you know. We're not under live fire.

I don't think you're a dumbass anything.

[ he knows what it's like to be judged for what you do; how many people wrote him off because he's just a computer nerd? he never wants to do that to anyone.

a part of him is happy that he's such a terrible liar, that everyone can see right through him - it makes bottling things up a lot harder, and he knows he shouldn't be doing it. but at the same time, he's constantly burdening people who should be concerned about themselves, and he just feels so guilty. ]

I'll be fine. [ he corrects himself ] I'm just worried about my girlfriend and my friend - they're pretty incredible ladies, but sometimes that gets them hurt. [ he's so worried about so many things and so many people it feels like his head is about to overheat and explode, but it won't. it won't because he'll find a way home for all of them and then...then he'll worry til his head explodes about everyone who chooses to go back to their own worlds instead of join him at his because so many of those worlds just sound awful. ]

Aww, that's nice of you to say. [It's okay, Winn. She knows she's not very smart. Or at least, there is something in her brain that reminds her of that fact.]

It's okay to worry about people. That means you're a good friend. [She smiles at him.] But... I dunno about Kitty, but this is my job. You're good at other stuff. You're super creative, and you take care of people, and you organize things and keep morale up, and even more things that I don't know or understand. You do a lot of stuff I can't. So I do this job so people like you can keep doing all the important things that I can't do.

I just didn't do my job that great this time around, 'cause the hostile got past me. Sorry about that.

[ he knows all about things in your brain that remind you of things that just aren't true, except his are emotional barriers. ]

What -- no, no, Wrath -

[ he's going to gently put his hand on hers, because he's so afraid to hurt her. ] You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sure you were amazing. Thank you for protecting us -- but you're just as important, you know that, right? Not because of what you do or don't do - because of who you are.

[ he's just gonna go ahead and borrow kara's inspirational speech to him, because it feels like wrath needs to hear it. ]

You're much more than a job, you're one of the most fun people I've ever met. [ even if she scares the shit out of him sometimes ] And Charles is right - you have a lot of emotional intelligence. And regular intelligence, too. And you're talented, and you're funny, you're a good friend. That's all important. You're important.

[If she was that amazing, Winn, if she was up to her old standards, Winter never would have made it down that hall. Why does no one seem to get that fact? But what else can she really say? It feels weird to argue with people that she really is nothing--you're a soldier, you're good at your job, only the mission matters, you don't matter--and she's not sure how to correct that perception. It was a lot easier to deal with before she got discharged. Before she had friends.

Maybe friends are just people who believe nice things about you despite all evidence to the contrary. It's something to mull over.] That's really kind of you to say. Thank you.

[Nice and Kind are to different things, and Winn is definitely kind. She gives his hand a little squeeze. She hates how weak her fingers feel, a slight tremor in them with the synthetic nerves still not aligned properly, thanks to her ports being broken.] Don't feel bad, Winn, okay? I have the easy job. You have the hard job.

[ do you know what winn would have been, had he been there? that's right. dead. to him, being able to land a punch is amazing. surviving is the most amazing. ]

I'm not saying it because I'm kind, Wrath, I'm saying it because it's true. You matter so much - to everyone on this ship, to all your friends.

[ he smiles a little when she squeezes his hand ]

If I told you not to fight, could you do it? That's like telling me not to feel bad when someone I care about is hurt. Both our jobs are hard. But you're tough, and I got a great smile it's criminal to hide - we'll pull through.

[She has to blink back tears at that. Stupid chems, making her all emotional, but it's okay to be emotional right now. Right? But it's weird to think that she is important in a way that isn't the job or the position or even shit like publicity for the cartoon show. She's still not sure how to quite grasp it, because the entire idea of mattering while not being overtly useful is a confusing one.

But still, it feels good to hear.] Thanks, Winn.

You're tough as hell too, Winn. Just in a different way. Because you keep going.

[ he can practically hear his own heart breaking at this; she clearly hasn't been told this enough. he knows how painful feeling like you don't matter can be like, and he's had kara in his life for the past two years. ]

Anytime at all, Wrath.

[ he returns the gentle squeeze to her hand, again so careful not to hurt her ]

Well, I gotta. Have to make my heroes proud.

[ the way he looks at her as he says it makes it clear she's on that list.

he's moved, too. since the attack happened - kara has called him brave - one of the bravest people she knows, even - and now wrath is calling him tough. as a guy who always considered himself a wimpy coward - and hated himself for it - he can't really put to words how much that means to him. he wants so badly to be strong, not to be a burden on the people he loves. and wrath...wrath is blunt, wrath isn't blinded to his faults, he doesn't think. wrath is easier to believe. ]

[She doesn't deserve to be on that list. She really doesn't. But she also doesn't know how or want to argue about it. Because it feels nice in one way, even if she feels guilty about it in another. But she can encourage him, because he deserves that.]

I think you already do.

[ he knows a few things about not feeling worthy. he also knows how constantly being reminded that it isn't true is the only way to start believing that maybe - just maybe - the people around him, who he loves and respects - know what they're talking about.

he smiles at her. ]

Thank you. That means a lot coming from one of them. [ wrath risked her life to protect all of them - that's exactly what a hero does. ]

[She really doesn't deserve this, at all. Not when she failed so completely at doing her job. But encouraging Winn is important, in her opinion--he looks like he really needs the encouragement--and trying to explain it or argue really wouldn't help.

The best she can do is try to earn it later, if her back gets fixed and she can do her job again. Though she's already got conflicting feelings about that. She gives him a good, brave smile and squeezes his hand.] I'm gonna make you earn it with this dress, though.

Re: action;

action;

Re: action;

action;

Re: action;

action;

Re: action;

action;

Re: action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

Re: action;

action;

Re: action;

action;

Re: action;

action;

action;