driftfleet | (no subject)

[Just the question brings a smile to her lips.] Yeah. It's a photo of my parents. [Nothing could have meant more to her short of actually having them back.] It's in my room if you want to see it sometime.

I'd like that, if you don't mind. And--I'm glad.

[He leans back up against the wooden walls, doing it more for effect than for any physical need. He's been making more and more gestures like that lately.]

I don't recall if you've heard or not, but I received some new memories of home recently.

I don't mind at all. [She'd be happy to show them off. It's emotional, but good emotional.]

You did? No, I didn't know. [She shifts, looking concerned.] How much time? Are you okay?

[The Vision nods again, expression melting back into seriousness.]

Just over a year.

[Effectively doubling his age, as she'll be aware. Her last question causes a noticeable hesitation.]

It would be a great deal to process even if little of note had occurred. As it is, I was only narrowly talked out of doing something drastic, such as resigning my command temporarily.

Oh, Vision, wow. I'm glad Wrath or whoever it was talked you out of it.

I did see Winter. I know he has more memories. [She's been worried about him and since some of them are bound to overlap she figured she should mention it.]

Kara did, as a matter of fact. [And Leto had set the groundwork, but he hadn't been fully convinced until his talk with Kara. His eyes narrow in concern just thinking about it. They might yet have to deal with Captain Wrath if something were to cause him to reconsider.]

We've jumped to the same point in time, I think. It's 2016 now, and--hm. The relevant part is that tensions between us will be running higher if Captain Rogers and Mr. Stark gain the same memories. Currently, it's only myself, Wanda, and Bucky who remember.

[Who the hell is Bucky?]

[She knows the Bucky thing. Between knowing James briefly and Winter and then realizing Steve was actually the Captain America her grandfather used to tell her stories about when she was still young and had a family she figured it out. Of course he was also trying to kill her when it all came together so there wasn't time for a lot of fangirling.]

Yeah, he said things would be bad with Tony if he knew. [And she knows why. Murdered parents aren't something you ever get over. At least ~~Batman~~ she hasn't.]

Why did you feel like you'd need to step down because of it?

[He nods and seems to deflate a bit.]

In a battle recently, I...became distracted. Responding to a call for help from an ally, a miscalculation on my part caused me to shoot him down instead. He may never make a full recovery.

[Oh, that's hard. Friendly fire? That'll eat you up if you let it. She understands why he felt like he should step down now. She also thinks Kara was right to talk him out of it.

She steps forward to do a thing she hasn't really done with Vision before and she's not sure how it will be received but it feels like the kind of thing you hug over. At least it does to her now after her time in multiple multiverse prisons and fresh from a planet of touchy-feely times. Back in the day she would have had a smoke and said something brief and hard edged but not without feeling.]

[Kara is a good person like that. That he'd spoken about it with her and not the friends from his home is perhaps telling - Rhodey hadn't blamed him, not really, but he hadn't been absolved by any of the others, and it's affected him quite a lot.

When she moves in to hug him, he freezes up for only the briefest moment, and that has much more to do with his general lack of physical contact than anything to do with her. After that he's normally awkward about giving her a light squeeze back.]

--Thank you, Kitty.

[She feels the awkward in the way he responds, but the last time a teammate tried to comfort her back home—after all her students died on a mission she was co-leading—she phased right through it, so this is better than that! Then again it's not like Vision can phase, right?! Ahem. She understands how hard it is to accept comfort for things you feel guilt over. Pulling back, she looks at him thoughtfully.]

I'm sorry about your teammate. That's gotta be hard for all of you. [The weight of Vision's guilt, the recovery for the teammate, the way people might line up to blame or defend.]

[Psh, he only phases through people he's fighting with. But it hasn't yet occurred to him that Kitty might react oddly to that ability....]

Those who have bothered to speak to me at all have said so, yes. [Not that he's bitter or anything.]

[It won't be odd, ability stealer!]

Do you think they're avoiding you or just giving you time? [Okay, it definitely sounds like he thinks it's that first thing.]

[He hesitates perhaps longer than he should. Does he bother telling Kitty about the whole trainwreck that had left the Avengers compound nearly deserted? No, he thinks, better not.]

Suffice it to say I doubt most of them even consider I may have feelings to be accountable for.

Vision...

Of course you do. [Is that really how they feel?]

I'm quite aware of this.

But I'm afraid the truth is I feel far more alienated among my own people than I do here.

I didn't realize it was like that for you. [Though it might explain some of the natural kinship she felt right away. Then again she did always feel like she fit with her team at home and more or less in the prison and here. But back home there was still the rest of the world who weren't teammates. It could be daunting.] That's hard.

Have you talked to any of them here about it?

[He grimaces, feeling his team deserves a better explanation than that - even though it's true.]

A bit. Wanda knows, and I've spoken with Natasha to an extent. [But not the others.] I--think it would be easier if Thor were still around rather than in Asgard, though I understand he has responsibilities he cannot lightly set aside. But when people have enough difficulty accepting even an enhanced human--[he gestures to Kitty, indicating her as an example---having someone entirely non-human is another matter altogether. And yet even on the Windrose I'm not the only one--Ordis is no more human than I am.

[She's heard a little about Thor. And "enhanced human" is a nice way of putting it.] This place—these kinds of places—can be surprisingly accepting.

I had a hard time with it in the prison. I spent so much time being hated for what I was without people caring about who I was and then suddenly no one cared. It should have been great, but I had a hard time trusting it. [She'd push people, demonstrate her powers by plunging her hand into their chests. She wanted the acceptance, but she felt like people were just hiding their true feelings. But when she did push someone too far and scared them it felt much worse.]

And it made it feel like everything that came before hadn't mattered. [Like it was erasing part of her identity. She's still struggling to find who she is outside of all of that.]

But you should be able to trust your own team at home. [If no one else. She doesn't mean this as a failing of Vision's but one of his team.]

I can understand that, I think. Do you know, it's part of why I appear like this - I could change myself to have standard human skin tones, for example, but I cannot shake the feeling that it would be dishonest to do so.

[Because he's not human, no matter how much he likes them. He'll never be human, no matter how much he pretends. And it's usually something he finds peace with.]

I understand that you're a mutant, and that it's a context my society lacks entirely. But that doesn't mean it doesn't matter, Kitty. We cannot deny that our pasts have shaped us into who we are, and that they will continue to shape our futures - even when the society around us changes. Whether we can change to match it or will fall behind and become a slave to our own expectations is up to us, but it's not a path we need to walk alone. I'll be here with you. Your friends will be here with you as well.

[He touches the tips of his fingers together in a thoughtful gesture.]

And I'd like to take my own advice as well, no matter how isolated I feel at times.

I get that. It's better not to get too attached until someone knows. [Her mutation isn't like Kurt's. It's invisible and so people can treat her differently until they find out. So many people would call her lucky, but she doesn't like the feeling of hiding it. Or the feeling of what people are hiding about how they feel about it.

But no one is judging her right now. No one is seeing her as different or less or dangerous or something to be used or controlled. There's this person who is hurting in his own, overlapping sort of way who has been nothing but great to her the entire time she's known him. She liked him immediately and has never had any reason to feel differently.]

You're not alone. Not with me around. [She steps in closer because hugs work better that way.]

[Of course he accepts the hug and hugs her back in turn, albeit awkwardly because what is physical affection even. But awkward or not, it does make him feel better, and he even gives her a little pat on the hair to express it.]

It's a comfort to me to hear that, Kitty. Thank you.

You know sometimes you sound much older and wiser than me and it's kind of annoying when you're still in the single digits of age. [She pulls back with a soft smile.]

[He smiles at her.]

Perhaps you should blame Mr. Stark, who decided his AI assistant should sound calm and cultured.

Maybe I should. I haven't had much of a chance to talk to him.

...Winter mentioned there might be problems with him now. [Is this going to make the smiling go away?]