04 - video

[winn]

Who: Winn and you!
Broadcast: y!
Action: on the Tourist!
When: August 2nd

[ some of you may have noticed that winn has been uncharacteristically quiet for the past...16 days. he's not really sure how to address the elephant in the room - he knows these two weeks and change have been hard on the people he loves but for him it's like no time has passed and the dissonance is hard to bridge.

it's a good thing he has a not at all unhealthy coping mechanism set in place. ]

You know, if we're entertainment on a reality show, the least they can do is give us like a recap - you know your basic [ in a tv announcer impression ] here's what you missed on the Fleet - or - last week, on the young and the Drifting - [ he rubs the back of his head before shaking it ] Well, maybe talking about the 'least they can do' isn't such a great plan...first order of business - what'd I miss? Second order of business - if you or anyone you know has ever fallen into an unexplained sleep here or at any other kidnappy world - I'd appreciate it if you'd answer a couple questions, they're a text attachment at the bottom. Sorry if it's been done before, I'll gladly take a link to any previous research as well as fresh data. Third order of business -- hi. [ he gives the camera a little wave and a nervous chuckle ] Um. Yeah, I'm, I'm fine, I should've opened with that but if you know me the order isn't really gonna surprise you that much and if you don't you're probably really confused right now and looking for the off button - it's to your right, right on top, there you go.

That's it, I guess....good morning, Drifters - don't forget to drink your coffee! Winn out -

<br />1. <b>date and duration of sleep</b>: self explanatory.<br />2. <b>surrounding events</b>: when it happened were you or your sleeping acquaintance going about your daily lives, experimenting with anything, uncovering anything?<br />3. <b>results</b>: did waking result in new memories, loss of old ones, a change in personality or attitude, were you or your sleeping acquaintance at a different physical location (ex: new planet, back at your ship, new kidnappy world), were there any physical differences or after effects, if so how long did they last, anything you can think of that changed - put it here.<br />

[ except he's not all the way out. hank and cisco each get the following message to their personal numbers ]

I need to discuss something in person. My place? [ he can't really leave kitty yet ]

Comments

[winn]

Seriously. What I'm wearing? 100% Winn make, down to the stitching of the logo. [ so much joy and pride right now. ] And let me tell you, tailoring for a superhero is hard work, they get your suit shot, ripped, burned - I made it out of bulletproof material and I still have to mend it.

[ shaking his head. kryptonians. ]

Okay - are you ready? Cuz this is where my earth gets really weird. An alien maximum security prison crashed into us. Yup. Snowglobe not looking that weird now, does it?

[robitussin]

They don't have, like, magical powers that extend to protecting their clothes? Comic books lied to me. Not that I read comic books. Shut up.

[pausing and squinting.]

Wait, what the fuck, an entire prison just crashed into the planet? How? Did it get shot into orbit somehow? Dude, your Earth has the shittiest luck.

[winn]

I know, I feel so cheated.

[ he grins. hey, it's not saying anything, technically! ]

Well see, the geniuses over on the prison planning stuck it in what's called the phantom zone - which is a part of space where time doesn't pass - and then it was knocked out of the phantom zone and since the thing knocking it was headed for earth - it got dragged along for the ride.

[ he'd never say it to kara, since it was her mother who sentenced a lot of these aliens to fort raz, but he really does think the concept of a phantom zone prison is a terrible idea all around. ]

[robitussin]

What the fuck? Time to get a new alien prison planning committee. Jesus.

What happened after that?

[winn]

They broke out and wreaked havoc, basically.

[ he nods. ]

You got your supergirl-reptilian dessert fights, your supergirl-evil military robot fights, your supergirl-aliens with her powers and none of her morals fights, your evil genius billionaires making everything worse. It'd actually make a kickass comicbook.

[robitussin]

Probably fucking terrifying in real life, though. I can't believe there were actually evil genius billionaires.

Do you remember all of it, or did you get interrupted halfway to get put back in this shithole?

[winn]

I know, it sucks.

[ maxwell lord really was his hero. he invented so much cool stuff! but then, he did come through when kara was under the black mercy...maybe there's hope for him yet. ]

I haven't been back or gotten new memories from home since I got here if that's what you mean.

[robitussin]

Talk about a cliffhanger. Did it seem like everything was at least going to, like, not completely go to shit?

[winn]

[ he thinks about the last thing he remembers - the black mercy. and the last thing kara remembers - alex and hank on the run. ]

No, it's going to shit. But we'll fix it. It's what we do.

[robitussin]

Well then.

[yikes.]

Hopefully it returns from going to shit pretty fast?

[winn]

Thanks.

[ he smiles. ]

With Supergirl on the job, I'm sure it will. So what's your earth like?

[robitussin]

Uh, honestly? Next to the whole superheroes and alien prison and evil geniuses and everything, it's... pretty boring. Sorry to disappoint. I mean, it was kind of fucked up, but what version of Earth isn't?

[winn]

No, I'm - relieved. I mean I wouldn't trade my earth, but I'm glad yours is saner. No monsters, aliens, meta-humans? Just people?

[robitussin]

Not that I know of, at least. Maybe they're really good at hiding? Who knows.

Holy shit, though, can you imagine how freaked out I was when I first got kidnapped or whatever and suddenly everyone could do magic or had super strength or was, like, a dragon? So fucking weird.

[winn]

[ he laughs a little ]

Yeah, I was the guy who believed in aliens before they really made themselves known, so I do have some advantage in the adjusting to the weird department.

[robitussin]

I think it's been over a year and it's still insane to think that, like, even half of the stuff that's happened has actually occurred. I guess I'm too logical or whatever.

[shrugs]

I guess you get used to nothing making any sense eventually, though. Especially when an alien prison crashes into Earth.

[winn]

Actually it makes a lot of sense. In an infinite multiverse, it'd be really weird if evolution took the exact same course in every single version of the planet. Actually, it'd be a statistical impossibility.

[robitussin]

[she can't help but laugh, though it's not as his expense]

Still crazy to have to deal with. Also, you're a nerd.

[winn]

And proud.

[ he nods, smiling widely. ]

[robitussin]

Right. Anyways, I'm totally going to top your alien prison story, I just have to decide one to tell you.

[winn]

[ he scoots over to the edge of his seat and gestures for her to proceed. ]

Go ahead, try.

[robitussin]

Once I met a talking plant who wouldn't stop using puns. He turned out to be able to spit acid but totally failed me in my time of boss battle need anyways. I named him Audrey II because of course I did.

[winn]

[ so. many. jokes.

for a moment he just looks at her, trying to figure out if she's making this up just to see how much he'd believe. the answer, of course, is a lot.

if his pop-culture knowledge hadn't been messed with, he would be so proud of that name, so very proud. ]

How far could he spit? What kinda acid? What does a plant talk about? Is he like, raging against vegetarians?

[robitussin]

He was a daffodil. I don't remember everything he talked about, but his sass knew no bounds. He was kind of an asshole. He called me rude even though I named him out of the kindness of my own heart.

Anyways, as for the acid, we kind of got attacked by a mad scientist werewolf thing that was made because we wouldn't give it coffee? So I tried to use Audrey II to save us, but it turns out plant power is useless. It had paralytic spores it could shoot from it's mouth, but that didn't work even though I shot them over with my grappling hook..

[a pause.]

For the record, I literally could not make this shit up, so.

[winn]

[ he blinks. ]

Okay you win - I'm sorry, did you just mention a werewolf that runs on caffeine instead of the lunar cycle?