driftfleet | mk.05 (text)

Entry tags:

mk.05 (text)

Who: Kaworu Nagisa, anyone else!
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: his bunk, the Vanquish
When: this afternoon

Need advice for when one's body is trying to kill oneself

[Shipmates may notice how he hasn't left his bunk but a couple of times in the entirety of this past week. This means he's been of no use as an engineer, which is bad news considering this mysterious bug business. Even without that, he should at least be tending to the ship's overhead lights, which have been flickering on occasion... (The particularly astute might note that this seems to coincide with the muffled sounds of what could be... sneezes?)

But, alas, he is dying. He's pretty sure of it.]

(augment glitch = baby's first flu!)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My head is faring poorly as if something bad has or is happening to it; expelling fluids from head, I t hink they are important fluids

Tremors and perspiration as if affected by atmospheric temperature??

I keep sleeping not sure when I will cease to awaken

there is more

[that should have been LATTER remember to check your tags before hitting post, kids]

I can assure you right now you aren't dying, even if you might feel that way. Expelling fluids are normal; unless it's blood, don't worry. Tremors, sweating, and sleep are also normal.

What else? Sore throat? Achy joints? Upset stomach?

Yes all of that how long would you say I have left

[He's stubborn, and dramatic, and he's deep in the depths of despair, so he's not buying the idea that he's not gonna die pretty soon here.]

I hope you're sitting down right now.

I'm afraid you have a long, healthy life ahead of you.

Go to your medical officer and ask if they have anything for your symptoms. Eat light foods if you can handle it, drink plenty of water, and rest.

[That is something to be afraid of. Long and healthy... That's what Kaworu's always been meant for, repetitive deaths aside; the longevity of his species amounts to functional immortality. It shouldn't be a surprise in the slightest. But if he's not going to die now... he'll be spending who knows how long without Shinji, or worse, being hated by Shinji, being reviled, being worthless, having his existence amount to nothing more than a thorny puncture in the life of the boy he loves more than anything. For a while, he was loved back. Kaworu had honestly supposed that the loss of that love was what drove his body into suffering and wasting away...

AKA he's sad because he got broken up with and he's never been sick before.

...]

I don't think I understand.

[Kaworu.

Kaworu please]

It sounds like you have either a really bad cold or the flu. They're fairly common.

[C... Common?]

Do humans [...] frequently [...] experience this?

Yes, they do. Some more often than others, depending on a number of factors.

[Wh...]

And they survive??

But this is horrible.

[he's trying very hard not to laugh on his end. Being sick sucks, but the dramatics . . . ]

You've never been sick before, have you.

No

and I have never observed such a thing in others... Things would be very different if I knew about this...

Even people who know about act the same way, don't worry.

Do you want me to bring you some tea?

Does tea have miraculous qualities? I had no idea

I couldn't ask anything of you. I supposed things were meant to be this way, in the end. This fate seems fitting.

[More... drama...!!! He might be crying a bit.]

It's good for your throat and easy on your stomach, so in a way it does?

You didn't ask anything of me, I offered. What ship are you on?

['Good for his throat' sounds too good to be true. The way his throat hurts now is even more pronounced than what he felt preceding his death by DSS Choker. Maybe because it just won't go away...

It's Kaworu's opinion that he doesn't deserve to feel better in the first place. But this sort of misery is on a different level from anything he's experienced, and... well, he prefers his suffering to be self-made. It's scarier when he has no control over it.

... ... ...]

Vanquish

[He's covering his face with his hands (and texting with his wobbly mind), humiliated but feeling very emotionally and physically needy.]

Thank you

Okay, give me ten minutes then. Stay in bed, I'll come find you when I get there.

[poor thing, at least a worrying mom-type is on the way to make him feel better. And even better, it's a doctor mom-type]

[Plain and simple, Kaworu just doesn't feel well enough to protest as much as he probably should. He wants to curl up into a ball, bunched up in blankets, and go to sleep. He doesn't have the energy to be manicured and reassuring right now...

So,]

Okay

[He'll be huddled up in bed, clammy and shivering, a weird thermal paradox, when Hank arrives. He's in and out of awakening; time is weird and perplexing right now. Dazed due to fever, all he can do is feel like an idiot.]

[as promised, ten or so minutes later Hank has somehow managed to find Kaworu's room, and he gives a quiet knock before he steps in. Not only does he have tea with him, but he's brought over some medicine as well]

Kaworu? It's Hank.

[as far as first meetings in person go . . . well, at least there's been worse]

[There have been worse, yeah, but this is still a pretty embarrassing way to do it. It's not his chaotic room that's embarrassing — there are discarded clothes and things like that everywhere, like Kaworu's forgotten about the concept of "putting things away." (There's also a curious thing leaning against one of the walls of the room, the right length for Kaworu to hold like a spear, but that's another story.) No, what's embarrassing is this horrible sense of weakness, of helplessness — Kaworu's a mess on his messy bed, grey hair a disastrous nest, face damp and flushed, a far cry from its usual paleness. He gives a great and ineffective sniff as he cracks his eyes open to get a bleary look at his new guest.]

Hello, Hank, [he croaks. Like, really croaks. His throat feels so awful.] I'm sorry.

[messy rooms and messy appearances are far from offending Hank in any way - and it isn't as though he can talk, considering the state of his office back home, or his room in another world. That, and even if he's never been a practicing doctor, someone being sick wasn't something that bothered him. It helped that he was quite incapable of becoming sick, at least naturally.

He approaches the bed and gives the teen a sympathetic look] Don't be, you look miserable. Can you sit up? I brought some medicine, too.

Yes, [Kaworu says, for once so emotional that he can't keep himself from showing how sorry he feels for himself;] I feel miserable. [But despite this misery, or maybe even because of it, he doesn't want to be more of a burden on Hank... so he'll try to do as directed. He makes an effort to pull and prop himself up, sliding upright all slow and stiff... It mostly works, but his head throbs terribly and swims for a long moment, leaving him lightheaded, seeing blurs. He blinks through his exhaustion and agitation.]

You're very kind to... You're very kind. But this was meant to happen, I think... [Baw. He rubs his wrist underneath his nose, exhaling through his mouth.]

[meant to happen? His eyebrows furrow, but first things first: as soon as Kaworu's sat upright he reaches out with this free hand, the inside of his wrist pressing to the teen's forehead to check for fever. It was obvious enough, but, well - he's certainly a worrying type, and that extends to everyone.

The other hand holds out the tea]

These things aren't meant to happen, I'm afraid. They just do. How long have you felt like this?

[He's unused to this sort of concern, and again, he's already overly emotional... so when Hank touches his forehead, Kaworu lowers his eyes, and his chin trembles slightly. He takes in a shuddery breath while he accepts the tea with both shaky hands.

How long as he felt like... this? Miserable? Around a week. But this, the physical part... well...]

The aching started several days ago. I thought that might be the prelude to death. My core... I thought it was starting to shut down. [He purses his lips while a small cough interrupts him; seems like he's trying to suppress it.] Or something.

[that sounds about par for course for the flu, but he has to pause, head tilting just a little in confusion]

I'm sorry - your core? [he'd picked up that Kaworu wasn't human, but now he was curious as to what that meant] Ah - but for humans, that sounds about normal. The symptoms present themselves before the rest of the illness does, sort of like a warning.

My core, [and he pauses to shift around and hope desperately that his head stops feeling like it's going to explode (AGAIN),] my core is the part of me that keeps me alive. Unless it's destroyed, I have no reason to expire...

[And he never has any reason to get sick, either, so it's understandable that experiencing illness would lead him to believe that his core had run out of juice. That's not supposed to happen to Angels, but much of Kaworu's life is nonsense in the first place.

He peers at the tea, pitifully, before sipping at it. ...] I thought I wasn't able to fall ill. It made sense for this to be the end of all things. I can't believe... [He clears his throat, which hurts to do, so he ends up cringing into himself.] I can't believe human beings do this routinely.

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