004 - My Funny Valentine

[alwayscomeback]

Who: Sokka and YOU!!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Blue Fish
When: Today

[Okay, so the date's wrong, but Sokka in his hyperactive state didn't pay much attention to the details anyway. What was important to him, was that there was a celebration honouring the one you loved and that needed to be addressed.

So, he waves excitedly at the camera, trying to focus it on...an odd 'statue' in the cargo bay of the Blue Fish. He'd considered putting it together on one of the moons, but that would have just been weird, so in the ship he went. It doesn't really look like anything, except for a weird blob made of of bits of melted metal. For some reason, it's holding a fan.]

HEY GUYS!!! I know that Vahl-in-tynes thing is ...soon? Soon! So I made this statue for the lady of my heart, Suki!

[It doesn't look like a lady. It doesn't even look human.]

So Suki is a pretty awesome gal. She kicks butt all the time, and usually does it with just a fan, isn't that amazing? She's part of this all girls warrior group and she could kick all your butts with her hands tied behind her back. AND she's beautiful and smart to boot!

[He winks at the camera] Baby, I know you can't see this, but I miss you and I really hope you're okay, I'll be back before you know it.

Comments

[alwayscomeback]

[Sokka turns to give him a look, yeah, he saw went on on the Network and you, sir, are a douche and not welcome on his ship.]

It's a statue.

Guess it's not Saturday, yet. You still being here and all.

[selfperpetuate]

[Wow, it took him that long to realize he was a douche. That's a record.]

Yeah, I figured that one out by myself, dumbass. I was asking what it's a statue of.

Not yet. You're stuck with me for a couple more days. Suck it up, cupcake, and don't worry, I'm going to be on my best behavior for you and the rest of the sunshine brigade.

[alwayscomeback]

[Sokka has hung out with some Grade A douchebags, he has a high tolerance level. ]

My girlfriend.

[He gives a shrug. ]

If you hate it here so much, why don't you just stay on one of the moons?

[selfperpetuate]

[Congratulations, you have kind of broken Alex because that's supposed to be a person? Jordan would kill Alex if he ever made something like that of him. But Alex said he was going to be on his best behavior.]

She must be a very...unique and important lady to warrant a statue being made of her.

[Look, nobody ever said he was good at faking compliments.]

I hate pretty much everywhere and everyone. It's not just you guys.

[alwayscomeback]

[How about that! Sokka looks suspicious, because what is this? Alex giving compliments?!! ]

Oh gees, that makes me feel so much better.

[selfperpetuate]

[Excuse you, mister, he can give out compliments if he wants to!]

What? I'm trying to compliment your statue. Am I not allowed to compliment the fucking statue?

[Even though it doesn't look human? And is supposed to be of Sokka's girlfriend? Is Sokka's girlfriend a non-human creature? ALEX WILL PROBABLY NEVER KNOW.]

[alwayscomeback]

It's not that it's the last part, the hating everyone equally part.

[selfperpetuate]

Oh, that. Well, it's the fucking truth. There's only about three people I don't hate and outside of that, you're basically fucked. Try not to take it personally.

But I know how you gr--guys are, so I'll try the nice thing out.

[alwayscomeback]

How am I not supposed to take that personally?

...Thanks, I guess? [It's weird, stop it. ]