driftfleet | Video + Action | So a mage and a Spirit wake up in the same body...

Who: Anders + you
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Málum
When: 8/10, the day after this post

//Video//
[When the video clicks on, it's to show Anders in the Three Twins med bay, this time awake and clearly a lot more awkward about adressing the network than he'd been a week back. On top of that, he's ten years older than he was a week back, although for all his gauntness and heavily apparent exhaustion, he might as well look an extra thirty years older.

Time has not been kind to the man who once shined his charisma and humor on the fleet.]

Hello. Sorry, apparently I've been in one of those comas that happen here, although mine was one of those that came new memories. So, if we had an appointment of any kind, I'd appreciate the reminder I'm...still a little scattered on...well, everything. It's been a while, but also hasn't. [It was an attempt at humor, but his tone falls flat and the smile that hesitantly tries to stretch his lips doesn't seem to know if it even belongs there and dies quickly.]

For those on the Three Twins, I apologize for being unavailable. The clinic will be up and running as it should be, erm, well, tomorrow. Tonight, I'll be at the Málum. [Maker how he wished it could be getting drunk instead of simply appeasing Adalwolfe's overprotective concern.]

Sorry to anyone who I might have caused concern.

[He clicks off the transmission with another awkward half-smile and then sets about contacting those he needed to the way Adalwolfe had shown him.]

//Private to Fenris and Marian//
[Can he get away with not talking to them? Probably not. Which is why he contacts them with voice only, not quite willing to look either of them in the eye when his memories, thoughts and emotions were still so jumbled and confusing.]

I remember Kirkwall. [And the hole in the sky, but that was far less important when it came to them.]

//Action-Málum//

He'd told Hawke he'd follow him as soon as he'd sorted some things at the clinic. Well, now those were sorted and he'd come as promised to the bar his boyfriend worked at. He certainly didn't mind being close to his fellow mage while he worked, in fact he took some solace in Adalwolfe's nearness, he just wasn't sure he wanted to be out in public just yet either. How long had it been since he'd even been in a crowded place? Three years? They'd been on the run for so long, if it weren't for their village they'd adopted, he'd almost be afraid he'd completely forgotten how to talk to other people.

Anyone who might happen upon him or come looking for him in the bar would find him sitting at the counter, something strong he wasn't drinking and food he wasn't touching placed in front of him. His eyes occasionally darted up to follow Hawke with clear affection and adoration in them, but they'd inevitably fall back to the bar's surface as though attempting to memorize the patterns in the grain there.

He so wished he could call Justice up just to tell him to sod off for one night. Maker damn him, he just wanted to get drunk one last time. The things you don't appreciate when you're younger and not hosting a spirit who chases all the alcohol from your system before it can even settle in.

There were a lot of things he didn't appreciate ten years ago.

Only a week ago.

He sighed. Even without the booze, his head was swimming.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

'Good thing' or not, it was inevitable.

[He parrots Fenris' words back, unable to say anything else in his friend's defense. Especially when Fenris wasn't even necessarily wrong. The plight of mages was far away and out of anyone's hands here, but Justice was still a universal concept, how long would it take for his friend to find something else to rail against?

And should a templar be pulled to the Fleet next? Would he be able to control Justice well enough for the spirit to not rip a hole in the ship's hull trying to fight said Templar? He couldn't promise. But Justice was still his friend, someone he had to try and protect.

Which is why what Fenris says next is like a punch in the gut.]

...he said...what?

That doesn't make it any less dangerous.

[Fenris has already seen Cullen here, and Alistair, and what about those who opposed mages in general, like himself? Like Cassandra? Like any number of otherwordly people that could show up here.

No, Vengance is too dangerous to be let around people like that. Not where there's nowhere for them to run to. It would have them trapped.

But hey, at least he's acknowledging the spirit is the thing to be worried about moreso than Anders. That's..progress? Yay? ]

He wants to separate it from you. I think that's better than living with a ticking timebomb, don't you? Given what has happened.

[...yay. Small victories. Too bad Anders has to go and ruin it in his own way.]

No. Hawke understands, he's only ever supported us, you must have misunderstood him.

Besides, separating us, it can't be done. If Justice were pulled from me, where would he go? The Fade is too far for him to reach, he could die!

You can't just murder someone for having poor circumstances surround them. What if slavers came hunting for you for all the blood you've spilled when you've only responded in kind for being a slave?

[Yeah, sure, Anders compare Fenris to the spirit he hates. That'll go over well.]

[And there it was. A reminder of why he hated the mage so much in the first place. How ignorant and self-involved he was. Like nothing in the world mattered than him and his so-called cause. That he is so consumed by it he can't see outside of it. What Fenris hates more is he was like that, once. Killing Danarius, finding a way to move on from that had made him see outside himself. But Anders...Anders just sunk ever deeper into it.

Fenris had tried to understand that. Knowing Anders without the spirit had convinced him the man was not a complete lost cause. That there was some humanity in him. Fenris had even begun to tolerate him. Yet now, in a few short sentences, Anders has managed to vaporise any sense of camaraderie he had built. There's a flash of lyrium, and when Fenris replies, his tone is angry. ]

I killed people who were tying to take me back into slavery! What I didn't do was destroy an entire Chantry full of largely unarmed people and start a war. Don't you dare compare my survival to the vicious eradication of hundreds of innocent lives.

That thing has to die. You have proven yourself unstable without it, and it is too dangerous to risk it possessing much more powerful members of the Fleet. A demon with a thirst for razing everything around it needs to be put down like a rabid dog.

Do not make me regret my opinion that you deserve a different fate.

[He couldn't even respond or think about the last thing Fenris said. It registered somewhere in his mind, but his mind was not wholly his own right now. Blue cracks flared from his eyes and down his face as Justice neared the surface of Anders' consciousness, but it barely carried in his voice, Anders still largely in control. Now he was even more grateful he'd chosen voice over video.]

I'm not talking about the Chantry, I'm talking about here and now, in the fleet!

He's not a rabid dog, he's a person with thoughts and feelings like anyone else and he doesn't deserve to be killed simply because you feel threatened by him.

It deserves to be killed because it murdered hundreds of innocent people!

[It's a good job he can't see it, or he'd probably have punched the screen by now. ]

You cannot stand there and act like what you and that thing did to the Chantry. You started a war. Only a complete fool couldn't see the demon as the threat it is. Or the threat you can be if you continue to let it feed on your anger and misguided doctrines.

Misguided-!?

[He bit off his own outraged words and sunk his teeth into the inside of his lip. Why was this infuriating elf constantly so voluntarily blind and ignorant?

No, no, he needed to calm down. The heels of his palms pressed against his eyes as thought he could push Justice back like that. He tasted blood in his mouth and the surge and crackle of the fade left his ears.

The anger, however, didn't clear his voice or lose the bite in his words.]

That was Thedas. Those problems aren't here, unless you intend to act as the Templars and Chantry yourself.

Of course I don't.

[He sounds incredulous at the thought. After Meredith, he has learned the Templars are just as corrupt as the mages they try to control. Both sides sow the seeds of their own destruction. ]

You say that. But can you be certain it won't see something as unjust and reign hell upon us? Because I know I can't be.

[He's quiet. He's quiet for too long and it betrays his answer before he can even find the will to voice it. Pride makes him want to bite his tongue and there's shame for the fact he knows Justice can feel his doubt. He can't trust his friend not to lose himself in a new cause and Justice's views were still too black and white to understand Anders' hesitation and fear.

His voice is somber and begrudging when he finally speaks up again.]

No. I can't.

[The silence does it for him. Fenris isn't going to crow about this, though. He's past that. He was past that back in Kirkwall, when he began to realise just how broken Anders was. Perhaps even more so than he was. He doesn't care about one upping Anders any more. What he cares about is making sure the man doesn't take any more innocent lives. ]

Then you can understand my concerns. I don't want this out of spite, Anders. I'm trying to prevent another massacre.

[There's a surge of anger, sharp and bright and not at all his own. There's words there, booming and pressing against his mind. Necessary, a massacre for a massacre, some chantry folk for all of the mages brutalized. He chokes them back, nearly drawing blood from the inside of his lip for how hard he bites it.

Those aren't his words. Three years and Justice emerged all of two times, once to protect Hawke and once out of rage while they were trying to free the Circles. It was enough time with the Spirit barely a quiet hum in the back of his head to find the tells. It was hardly foolproof but it helped. Especially right now.

He wasn't angry, he was just tired.]

I know.

[But this was still Fenris and Anders was still a liar.]

If you happen to have any brilliant ideas, you know where to find me.

[It was easy to drum up the sarcasm and irritation he was sure Fenris expected. The sooner he chased the elf off, the better.]

[Fenris knew there would be no real reasoning with him, but this was better than he expected. He wasn't about to push his luck. This was still like walking on glass. Besides, all he needed to do watch watch. Prepare for the worst. Do what he did best...if the need ever arose. ]

Until then.

[And off goes the feed. ]

Video + Action | So a mage and a Spirit wake up in the same body...

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