Anders (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
apurrstate) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-08-10 11:03 am
apurrstate) wrote in driftfleet2016-08-10 11:03 am
Entry tags:
Video + Action | So a mage and a Spirit wake up in the same body...
Who: Anders + you
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Málum
When: 8/10, the day after this post
//Video//
[When the video clicks on, it's to show Anders in the Three Twins med bay, this time awake and clearly a lot more awkward about adressing the network than he'd been a week back. On top of that, he's ten years older than he was a week back, although for all his gauntness and heavily apparent exhaustion, he might as well look an extra thirty years older.
Time has not been kind to the man who once shined his charisma and humor on the fleet.]
Hello. Sorry, apparently I've been in one of those comas that happen here, although mine was one of those that came new memories. So, if we had an appointment of any kind, I'd appreciate the reminder I'm...still a little scattered on...well, everything. It's been a while, but also hasn't. [It was an attempt at humor, but his tone falls flat and the smile that hesitantly tries to stretch his lips doesn't seem to know if it even belongs there and dies quickly.]
For those on the Three Twins, I apologize for being unavailable. The clinic will be up and running as it should be, erm, well, tomorrow. Tonight, I'll be at the Málum. [Maker how he wished it could be getting drunk instead of simply appeasing Adalwolfe's overprotective concern.]
Sorry to anyone who I might have caused concern.
[He clicks off the transmission with another awkward half-smile and then sets about contacting those he needed to the way Adalwolfe had shown him.]
//Private to Fenris and Marian//
[Can he get away with not talking to them? Probably not. Which is why he contacts them with voice only, not quite willing to look either of them in the eye when his memories, thoughts and emotions were still so jumbled and confusing.]
I remember Kirkwall. [And the hole in the sky, but that was far less important when it came to them.]
//Action-Málum//
He'd told Hawke he'd follow him as soon as he'd sorted some things at the clinic. Well, now those were sorted and he'd come as promised to the bar his boyfriend worked at. He certainly didn't mind being close to his fellow mage while he worked, in fact he took some solace in Adalwolfe's nearness, he just wasn't sure he wanted to be out in public just yet either. How long had it been since he'd even been in a crowded place? Three years? They'd been on the run for so long, if it weren't for their village they'd adopted, he'd almost be afraid he'd completely forgotten how to talk to other people.
Anyone who might happen upon him or come looking for him in the bar would find him sitting at the counter, something strong he wasn't drinking and food he wasn't touching placed in front of him. His eyes occasionally darted up to follow Hawke with clear affection and adoration in them, but they'd inevitably fall back to the bar's surface as though attempting to memorize the patterns in the grain there.
He so wished he could call Justice up just to tell him to sod off for one night. Maker damn him, he just wanted to get drunk one last time. The things you don't appreciate when you're younger and not hosting a spirit who chases all the alcohol from your system before it can even settle in.
There were a lot of things he didn't appreciate ten years ago.
Only a week ago.
He sighed. Even without the booze, his head was swimming.
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Málum
When: 8/10, the day after this post
//Video//
[When the video clicks on, it's to show Anders in the Three Twins med bay, this time awake and clearly a lot more awkward about adressing the network than he'd been a week back. On top of that, he's ten years older than he was a week back, although for all his gauntness and heavily apparent exhaustion, he might as well look an extra thirty years older.
Time has not been kind to the man who once shined his charisma and humor on the fleet.]
Hello. Sorry, apparently I've been in one of those comas that happen here, although mine was one of those that came new memories. So, if we had an appointment of any kind, I'd appreciate the reminder I'm...still a little scattered on...well, everything. It's been a while, but also hasn't. [It was an attempt at humor, but his tone falls flat and the smile that hesitantly tries to stretch his lips doesn't seem to know if it even belongs there and dies quickly.]
For those on the Three Twins, I apologize for being unavailable. The clinic will be up and running as it should be, erm, well, tomorrow. Tonight, I'll be at the Málum. [Maker how he wished it could be getting drunk instead of simply appeasing Adalwolfe's overprotective concern.]
Sorry to anyone who I might have caused concern.
[He clicks off the transmission with another awkward half-smile and then sets about contacting those he needed to the way Adalwolfe had shown him.]
//Private to Fenris and Marian//
[Can he get away with not talking to them? Probably not. Which is why he contacts them with voice only, not quite willing to look either of them in the eye when his memories, thoughts and emotions were still so jumbled and confusing.]
I remember Kirkwall. [And the hole in the sky, but that was far less important when it came to them.]
//Action-Málum//
He'd told Hawke he'd follow him as soon as he'd sorted some things at the clinic. Well, now those were sorted and he'd come as promised to the bar his boyfriend worked at. He certainly didn't mind being close to his fellow mage while he worked, in fact he took some solace in Adalwolfe's nearness, he just wasn't sure he wanted to be out in public just yet either. How long had it been since he'd even been in a crowded place? Three years? They'd been on the run for so long, if it weren't for their village they'd adopted, he'd almost be afraid he'd completely forgotten how to talk to other people.
Anyone who might happen upon him or come looking for him in the bar would find him sitting at the counter, something strong he wasn't drinking and food he wasn't touching placed in front of him. His eyes occasionally darted up to follow Hawke with clear affection and adoration in them, but they'd inevitably fall back to the bar's surface as though attempting to memorize the patterns in the grain there.
He so wished he could call Justice up just to tell him to sod off for one night. Maker damn him, he just wanted to get drunk one last time. The things you don't appreciate when you're younger and not hosting a spirit who chases all the alcohol from your system before it can even settle in.
There were a lot of things he didn't appreciate ten years ago.
Only a week ago.
He sighed. Even without the booze, his head was swimming.
private.
What do you want me to say? That what you did hurt me? [ Her first wards come slow but then like water gushing past open gates, the rest follows. All she bottled up, all she has held onto for so long, pouring out relentlessly. ] That my friend lied to me and it hurt like he had stabbed me in the gut. Do you want me to tell you that it sucked I lost not only people I cared about but my home that day? That I had to live on the run since that day, split off from my family, just in case the Divine decided to send an Exalted March after me? Because yeah, it sucked, it really did. All of it sucked and all I want to do is hit you for it.
So yeah, I'm angry and hurt, and for some stupid reason I still consider you my friend.
[ A friend she wants to hit a few times until she feels better, until all the anger has seeped from her skin. Until there is nothing more she can do but curl up with the hurt still sitting her chest and cry. Grieve for things she never gave herself the time to properly grieve. No matter how she looks at it she lost him, she lost Sebastian, and there is no way to get either of them back.
( Funny how much it still hurts after this time. ) ]
private.
And it was no different for Marian. She had to suffer losing her city, her home, Carver. Did she leave her dog behind too? Did she lose a companion in the fight as well? Her wounds were Adalwolfe's wounds, perhaps not as deep for him not being her lover, but deep enough, they were the same shape and had the same cause.]
I'm sorry.
I don't expect it to mean much, it doesn't change anything that's happened. But I am sorry, I only ever wanted to protect you. Even if that meant hurting you.
[He can't know that's truly the case. Maker, he could be lying through his teeth, he isn't her Anders, but if that man was him then it had to be true. If they were even just friends, then it had to still be true. Hawke would always be important to him, no matter what versions they each were.
"I'll break your heart."]
If you still want that free punch, you know where to find me. [He cracked a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. Her mask, his mask. He was still wearing one, it had simply changed designs over the years.]