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(no subject)

Who: Cole to everyone
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Pathstone
When: Now

[Cole is actually looking at the camera, which is a minor miracle for those familiar with his habit of leaving his communicator next to him and pointing at the ceiling.]

How do mortals know what you're feeling? Varric used to tell me what it was, or Jove, or Solas, but they're gone and now I don't know what these feelings are. I can tell how to help other people and how to navigate their hurts but I can't do it with my own.

[He gives a small sigh and looks off somewhere. A fluff slug climbs over the communicator screen.]

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Now? No.

I am not often happy. Being content is enough. But I am not. I feel... like I am very alone here. Even when there are people around me.

[ The Bene Gesserit had an old saying. To be human is to be alone. Of course, the Bene Gesserit have never been alone. And their idea of loneliness differs greatly.

But those words are trite and meaningless, especially to Cole. Leto sees little point in sharing them. ]

You are not easily understood. That makes you lonely.

... maybe.

[Not because he doesn't agree. He doesn't know one way or the other, therefore, it might be that. He certainly struggles a lot with trying to get people to understand.]

How do I fix it?

I don't know. I've never solved it myself.

Oh.

[He looks crestfallen.]

Neither did Solas.

[ Well. Solas. ]

There are no easy answers to the cure of loneliness.

Being with other people doesn't help.

Sometimes it makes it worse.

Yes. Because the answer to one's loneliness is unique. What works for myself may not necessarily work for you.

I felt like this in the Pit, but that was because I was alone. Completely.

Now, I know I'm not alone. There are people who care. But I sort of feel like I'm in the Pit again, waiting for Rhys to visit.

So what do you think you need to do to leave the Pit, Cole?

... I'm not in the Pit.

I'm on Pathstone.

[His tone says 'duh', even if he doesn't.]

[ Leto laughs softly. ]

Metaphorical pit, then. What would you do?

It wasn't metaphorical. It was a place. I walked out of.

[His tone suggests he thinks you might be a bit simple, Leto.]

I know.

So what makes you think you can't walk out?

... you can't walk out of feeling.

Yes and no. There's always some choice involved.

Feelings do not control you.

... I don't understand.

[For Cole, who is literally a concept, an emotion, made real, he can't grasp what Leto is trying to tell him.]

I walked out of the Pit. Not out of being alone. You can't just... not. Or people would do it all the time, just... not feel and be moved.

It's not as easy as it sounds. But it is one truth of emotion. You can choose the path to which it flows, whether it leads to loneliness or contentment. The heart is your map.

I... don't understand.

[Well, on the plus side, he's not lonely.

On the down side, he's very confused and lost.]

It is how, sometimes, not all anger turns to hatred. How sorrows can blossom into joys. We are never trapped in one feeling alone.

.... no, I don't understand.

[ Ah. He rubs his chin. ]

Perhaps I'm not qualified enough for this discussion then.

I don't know if anyone is qualified for it.

Perhaps. But I am certainly not!

Solas might have been.

But he's not here.