(no subject)

[killedwithlove]

Who: Cole to everyone
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Pathstone
When: Now


[Cole is actually looking at the camera, which is a minor miracle for those familiar with his habit of leaving his communicator next to him and pointing at the ceiling.]

How do mortals know what you're feeling? Varric used to tell me what it was, or Jove, or Solas, but they're gone and now I don't know what these feelings are. I can tell how to help other people and how to navigate their hurts but I can't do it with my own.

[He gives a small sigh and looks off somewhere. A fluff slug climbs over the communicator screen.]

Comments

voice.

[fuga]

[ Her voice is quiet, and low, when she speaks - and there's a touch of fear. She's accepted what she is, in a way, but she is still wary of Cole. ]

It is intuition. Sometimes it is difficult to understand, but speaking to others can be... Helpful.

Video

[bryces_pup]

[She's not Varric or Solas or Jove, but all the same, Riona will try to help. Though this isn't easy to answer.]

We just sort of... do. I think we learn and process them as small children. As we experience them and act on them, we learn what they are from how others react. I also find that reading helps a lot. You read about what a character feels and you connect it with what you've felt in the past.

[A pause.]

I guess that doesn't help you much right now. Can you describe what you're feeling? Does it bring any particular thoughts or images to mind?

[killedwithlove]

[Without her there, he can't tell easily who it is.]

Intuition? I don't understand.

[killedwithlove]

[He plucks the slug away and puts it on his hat and picks up the communicator again, looking at her.]

It... aches. Low, steady, accusation stings, like the mages, they blame use for what we are, the templars make them do it. Like that. Surrounded by people yet... it's like they're somewhere else at the same time.

[The only way he can explain it is by context of what others have felt.]

[ video ]

[precedented]

They usually try to guess. Some feelings burn hot, others leave you cold.

But it is usually your own feelings that confuse you the most.

[killedwithlove]

Cold.

Empty. But too full of pressure. Words don't say what they have to, they leave my mouth and enter their ear, but they change along the way, like another language.

Even after this time, emotions are still new. Sometimes, they come and I don't know them. I know this. The mages felt this.

[precedented]

[ He hums lightly. Leto gains understanding of his own feelings when they're mirrored through others, though he's become better at it. ]

Words are always imprecise for the depth of emotion. They are malleable, weak things that change skin.

[kingofbadlifechoices]

[Sick or not, Robb squints at his box. What kind of nonsense is this?]

Uh... [So this man claims to help others with feelings and there is mortality in the mix somewhere but does not know his own?] ...How can you not understand such matter while claiming you help others with the same thing?

[killedwithlove]

No. Words... Words can cut, shape thought, shape meaning, communicate...

Words build compassion. Empathy. Rage. Wisdom. Shape thoughts. Shape us.

[He knows words are impossibly powerful and powerless at the same time. They could easily be both in his mind. The Fade was like that.]

[precedented]

[ He shrugs loosely. ]

Of course. Because words are all we have, in the end. We have to trust them but they're not always inherently trustworthy.

What kind of shape would you like your feelings to take? Then the words can cement them into being.

[killedwithlove]

[Cole looks at the camera.]

Because I am Compassion. I understand others because that is what Compassion is. Understanding. Helping. Healing.

But me? I was never meant to this mortal. Complex.

[killedwithlove]

I don't understand. I want to... feel happier? Less cold. Less empty. Less...

Alone.

[precedented]

Usually, I find doing things that give you pleasure or contentment eases away the sense of loneliness.

Though I do not think there is a cure for missing people.

[kingofbadlifechoices]

[Wait, this man is a feeling in the flesh? Or at least he claims to be? Robb huffs and rubs his face.

If Old Nan would still live he could've trumped her stories with even more fantastic ones.]

How does a person become a...feeling? You do not know happiness? Or anger? [It would make sense. Not?] Mortality is a different thing, ser...

[killedwithlove]

I like helping people. I-

[He doesn't know what else he likes, really. He liked listening to stories and people being happy. He likes helping healers.]

I am very bad at painting.

[killedwithlove]

I'm not a person who became a feeling.

A feeling who became a mortal. Or like one. Gained shape, form, face, facets.

[precedented]

That does not take away your enjoyment for the act. I liked to sing in the languages of old. It made me feel closer to the past.

[ Not that he wasn't close enough, but it took away the fear involved. ]

[killedwithlove]

I don't know that I enjoy it...

Solas liked it. And I liked Solas liking it.

[kingofbadlifechoices]

[That is...kind of intriguing and odd at the same time. Also a bit scary...]

Did someone put a spell on you? I know magic is common here...everyone treats it as if it is something simple like the weather.

[A sneeze followed by a long pause... This truly hurts his head. If a person would be a feeling how could they truly be a person. Because a person felt more than just one feeling.]

It sounds troubling. [To say the least.]

[fuga]

It comes with growth. I was not adept at it, but time has changed me and I have learned. It is a matter of learning.

[killedwithlove]

No.

There was a boy, called Cole. He was dying. Alone and slowly and he was scared and he needed someone. Anyone. So... I came to him. I had to be more, because he needed me to be more.

Compassion understood Cole. And when Cole died, became Cole.

It was frightening and confusing, but I've learned about being a person more. And now, Solas said I would feel more and more things, but he's not here to help me understand what they are.

[killedwithlove]

I thought learning and intuition were... different.

You have one. You gain the other.

[fuga]

Sometimes it requires time to grow. Being in the world and around others allows it to develop. How can your intuition guide you if you do not experience things for it to understand? It is not like magic. It does not work like that.

[killedwithlove]

I don't have magic, so I don't know about that.

[Cole had magic. But Cole didn't understand it.]

So... intuition needs experience to grow.

[fuga]

It is the only example I know.

[ But at least they're getting somewhere, slowly. ]

Yes. It is like many things, and must be given freedom.