(no subject)

[killedwithlove]

Who: Cole to everyone
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Pathstone
When: Now


[Cole is actually looking at the camera, which is a minor miracle for those familiar with his habit of leaving his communicator next to him and pointing at the ceiling.]

How do mortals know what you're feeling? Varric used to tell me what it was, or Jove, or Solas, but they're gone and now I don't know what these feelings are. I can tell how to help other people and how to navigate their hurts but I can't do it with my own.

[He gives a small sigh and looks off somewhere. A fluff slug climbs over the communicator screen.]

Comments

[bryces_pup]

[She forgets sometimes...]

It's, uh, an expression, Cole. Not a literal line.

["Not hardened, sharpened by the world." The words make her look away a moment, brow creased. It's spot on, as Cole usually is. Too apt, in this case. He unintentionally dug up a worry that's been eating at her for awhile now.]

No, I... suppose not. But then, is it only a matter of time? I've seen it happen to my friends. How long will it take before it happens to me?

[The questions are asked rhetorically; she doesn't expect Cole to know the answer.]

[killedwithlove]

You care about individuals. While you do that, it won't.

You won't harden. It's not your nature, your path. You want to still care about individuals.

[bryces_pup]

[How is she supposed to keep caring about individuals when it's her job - both her jobs - to care about the whole? How long will she have the luxury of trying to look after the individuals before her duty demands her to see the whole?]

I fear that will change, that I won't be able to anymore. It feels like everyone and everything demands that I see the whole picture. Doing that leaves no room to care about each and every person.

[killedwithlove]

I don't understand a big picture. You can have other people see that. You can see people. That's so special. I think that's special.

[bryces_pup]

That's... not a bad idea, really. [Let the others think of the greater good. Let her think of the individuals. Tricky as a queen, but hey, that doesn't matter here, in this place.] Thank you, Cole.

...may I ask something of you?

[killedwithlove]

Yes, of course.

[bryces_pup]

If I ever get sent home and return with more memories, and if I... if the time that has passed has changed me, turned me into someone who no longer cares about the individual... will you help me try and remember?

[killedwithlove]

Yes.

I'll help you remember individuals. But I don't think you'll lose that.

[bryces_pup]

I hope you're right, but thank you. That makes me feel a little better.

[killedwithlove]

Good. I'm glad you feel better.