driftfleet | (no subject)

[She is going to gently stroke his hair. She loves this boy so much. She wishes she could do more for him. But she will do this for as long as he needs and if he falls asleep all the better.]

[ this does help. after a moment, he mumbles a little sleepily. ]

You still owe me a song.

[ if you thought he forgot about the wind beneath my wings promise, you are wrong. sascha could have tried to eat him again, and he still wouldn't have forgotten that. ]

[It takes her a moment to remember what he's even talking about and then she laughs lightly before she thinks a minute trying to remember the beginning of the song. They had to sing it once for a school play when she was very young otherwise this would be all chorus. It will still probably be mostly chorus and she sings softly to hide that she can't really sing.]

♫ It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind. ♫

[ it's one of those songs, the kind he never really listened to. wow, do those lyrics feel appropriate to his life.

he just lies there comfortably, listening. it's a pretty great distraction. ]

[She is also realizing how appropriate that is. Too appropriate? But she keeps singing and gently stroking his hair.]

♫ So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings. ♫

[ is it really lame that it's kind of making him feel like crying? it's been a hard night, and the power of cheese is great.

he doesn't cry, but his eyes do sparkle with the beginning of something. ]

♫ It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you. ♫

[She's about to hit the chorus again when she notices that sparkle.] Hey...

[ don't ask him why it's there, he doesn't even know if she sees that song as appropriate, she made a joke about singing it earlier so she's singing it now, but still hearing those lyrics from her hit him somewhere deep inside. ]

I'm pretty sure that's not part of the song - [ weakest joke, but he doesn't really know what else to say. ] but I could be wrong.

[She runs the back of her fingers across his cheek and starts humming before going back into the chorus more softly than before.]

[ he tries to take a discrete but soothing breath. ]

[She is very aware. She finishes the song and just watches him.] I love you, Winn. You're safe with me.

I know I am.

[ he doesn't doubt that. despite the fact the fleet is full of powerful and dangerous people, never has he doubted kitty's ability to keep him safe, if she happens to be around when he's in danger. ]

I wasn't scared. [ okay, he was, but not nearly as much as he thought he'd be. it was just a back-of-the-mind sort of fear, should the atroma decide to glitch sascha again. ]

What were you feeling?

[ the thought of telling her is stressful too. what if she'll think less of him? it'll seem so stupid if he wasn't afraid, won't it? will she understand? ]

Stressed. Overwhelmed. [ pressured, cornered. but how can he say that without seeming like he's pointing a finger? ]

[She doesn't think there's any wrong way to feel. She just wants to understand so maybe she can begin to help.]

Did you feel like that before we found out about Bigby or after?

After.

[ because suddenly he felt obligated to offer comfort and agree to all these things that he's really not sure he's ready for. and he'll do them, he'll do them happily, but he's not sure he'll cope with them in any remotely healthy manner. ]

Was it seeing me hug him or giving him comfort when you were still dealing with your own?

No, [ he shakes his head, though he wasn't a fan of that, not after that attempted kiss. seeing the way he buried himself in her neck kind of makes his crazy. ] it's having to do it myself.

[ hold his hand, promise to come, to be available at all hours when sleep is a precious and rare commodity for him, tell him he can come over, vacating his own personal safe space to the person who made him feel unsafe in the first place. it was too much too fast this was supposed to be a first meeting, that's what he was preparing himself for, not...this.

he hates having to say it. he feels like a shitty person. but why, he wouldn't expect say cisco to do this for him if he glitched and tried to kill him. ]

You felt like you had to offer him things you weren't ready for? I was trying to only speak for myself. [But of course Winn chimed in. That heart of his gets him into trouble.]

I know. You didn't do anything wrong.

[ but he couldn't just stand there with his mouth shut watching them and doing nothing. ]

Can I do anything to help? I could tell Sascha it only applies to me?

[ shaking his head is kind of awkward in this position, but he's reluctant to move. too comfortable. ]

Just...be okay with me going to Hank's if he needs to come over?

[ that's his safest bet of someone who'd be awake at those hours. ]

I could just go to him so you don't have to go anywhere.

It's fine I don't own these ships.

[ and even if he did he wouldn't ban sascha from them. ]

Hank could probably use the company too. [ he's constantly worried about him, this'll give him an excuse to check in on him in what's probably the more vulnerable time of day. ]

I won't stop you. I'd just like to decide together if it comes up. But I wouldn't ask you to stay. [He'd be welcome if he wanted to but she'd probably check a couple of times that he was sure at this point.]