driftfleet | how to drag a bird in five easy steps.

Who: Marian Hawke & Thedas' Greatest Hits.
Broadcast: N/A
Action: Three Twins medbay, later Caprine.
When: Backdated to late 9/8, some hours after Totally Fun Dragon Outing.

[ In truth she doesn't want to wake, she wants to sleep for weeks or months. Avoid the deep ache in her bones, the bile rising in her throat, the disgust that twists her insides into knots. That way she doesn't have to look at them then, doesn't have to look at him, and watch them recoil from her like some sort of thing - some sort of monster. But she does wake slowly, muscles protesting at even the slightest movement, jolts of agony dancing across her every nerve. Curling in on herself she clutches the sheets around her, hoping to shut the world out for at least a moment longer.

Good job Marian, you blew it. Just had to go and screw everything up, didn't you? Couldn't be happy with being bloody happy!

An ugly pit coils in her belly making her pull her sheets around herself some more, eyes clamping closed tighter. The smell of blood sharp in her nose, the taste of cooper lingering on her tongue. Reminds that cling to her like a wet blanket, that refuse to let her forget her own idiocy. If she hadn't rushed in like she had, if she hadn't stumbled and allowed herself to get caught. It'd be nice if they could all pretend nothing happened. Everyone going back to how things were when no one knew about Marian Hawke's dirty little secret or how much of a giant hypocrite she is. The woman that who damns blood magic and the very people who practice it a bloody blood mage herself. Maker's balls it is so painfully ironic.

It'd be nice really, but there is no going back now, no way to run. All there is to do now is watch her approval ratings plumett into the red. No way she's getting that special Wicked Grace scene now. ]

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[You do look like shit, Hawke, and that's next on Riona's "Things to Fret Over" list.]

But you're not resting. And you do look a little pale... did you lose too much blood? Allen - he's one of the medics on my ship - might be able to help with that.

[ All she does it shake her head, hand coming up to her face. ]

No need, I just need to rest for a bit. He's got his hands busy with other things anyway, rather not bother him with this.

[ With the mess that is Marian Hawke. ]

[Suddenly she feels sorry for Beverly and all the times she was a little shit about receiving medical treatment.]

Maker's breath and I thought I was stubborn. [If Riona looks ready to smack you, Marian, that's because she is.] Hawke, I'm going to wager that you did lose a lot of blood, between what your wounds did and what you... drew out. Stop pushing away help.

[She does it herself so she knows the signs. Is she being a hypocrite? Absolutely. Does she care right now? Not really.]

[ She's in good company at least, the both of them hypocrites thought for entirely different reasons. ]

I'm not pushing help away. [ A lie, she is. Not just help, people, anyone who tries to come close. ] Really Riona I'm fine, some sleep and food and I'll be right.

[ Why bother helping the tainted mage? Woman with blood on her hands and a stain on her soul. ]

[Okay, she's tried to be nice about this. But that's clearly not working. (Seriously, Bev is getting the biggest apology after this) Time for the direct approach.]

Stop.

[Her voice leaves no room for argument. The word - the command - is final.]

You're not fooling me. I do the same thing, so stop trying to pretend otherwise. [It's sort of scary seeing another do it, like looking in a mirror. Granted, why she did it and why Hawke does it are totally different issues.]

Which leaves me wondering why you're doing it. Do you just hate other people seeing you in such a state? Have you conditioned yourself to put on a brave front and tell people you're all right, too afraid of seeing what they'd find out if you admit you're not?

[...and now she's about to toe a thin line.]

Or is it a bit more... specific? Like what happened during the battle?

[ Hawke tenses, lips pursed together in a line as her jaw sets in place. Her mask, her walls, both go up quick enough to provide her the answers she seeks. Still she can't help herself from making some sort of snide comment, her way to striking back. ]

Have you eve read Varric's book? Tale of the Champion? I hear it is a good read, you should look into it sometime.

[ Yes, she is the sort of person who doesn't let many people see behind the mask. Who will hide her pain and her problems behind it, deflecting all attention away with inappropriate jokes. It makes it worse when she cornered, however, bristling like an incredibly angry cat. ]

Riona, please. I'd appreciate it if you stopped poking me with a stick.

[ Aka lets not talk about it, okay? okay. ]

[Not what she was hoping for, but she also isn't terribly surprised. She sighs. Honestly, maybe she's wasting her time. It's not like she and Marian are close. She'd like to be friends, but she's... probably not making a good case for that right now, if there's a case to be had at all.]

No. I haven't heard of it. If it was published after 9:32 Dragon, it doesn't even exist for me yet. Unless you so happen to have a copy on hand.

[She'll take a step back from poking with said stick... for now.]

Tale of the Champion. That's what you and Adalwolfe are, no? The Champion of Kirkwall? So I take it it's a chronicle of your... life?

That's the one!

[ Hawke smiles but it is sharp, jagged, forced. She doesn't hide it, either, fingers curled tightly around sheets. The last thing she wants is to snap at her, the Warden hasn't done anything wrong. Not in the grand scheme of things. ]

Made a bit of money off my life, he did. Naturally there are a few embellishments here and there but it is all true to life. I think there is a copy somewhere on the fleet, you should ask if there is.

[Riona considers her next words carefully. Hawke's... wound tight, to say the least. She wants to know what's wrong, but that won't happen with her like this. Time for a gentler approach.]

I may have to. Though, you might have to recommend it to me a bit. Can't just pick up a book without hearing a bit about it. [She smiles teasingly.] No need for a hefty plot synopsis, just a juicy bit or two. And if it has griffons, do tell me. That'll sell it to me right away.

[ Wound tight is putting it lightly, she looks about ready to flee at any given notice. Disappear somewhere in the bowls of the Fleet or back onto the planet itself. ]

It's a book that Varric wrote and it is about my life, the entire book is juicy. [ Maker's balls she wishes he was here, wishes she could talk to him. Yet in the same turn she's glad he isn't. ] He wrote about all sorts of things, like the Aveline's hilarious courtship of Guardsman Donnic─ One of his other books is based on her and Donnic, Hard in Hightown good read I hear if you're into smutty romance novels.

Oh! Adalwolfe told me about that! [This seemed a happy topic for him, so she hopes it'll be one for this Hawke, too.] I think. Is she the one that gave her intended a bunch of copper marigolds or something?

And a goat. [ A safer subject for certain. Primarily because it does not focus on her, on her faults, on the hypocritical bullshit she has been spouting now for years. ] Never forget she honestly was going to give him or his mother a goat.

[Okay, that part makes her throw her head back and laugh.]

You - You must be joking, right? She was offering a dowry for him?

how to drag a bird in five easy steps.

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