castrationfist: (pic#10575460)
Caster | Tamamo-no-Mae ([personal profile] castrationfist) wrote in [community profile] driftfleet2016-09-20 11:44 am

(no subject)

Who: Caster, everyone, and one unfortunate victim.
Broadcast: Text! Anonymous text. She's so sneaky.
Action: On the Vanquish!
When: Backdated to yesterday, the 19th!

[Bright and early in the morning, there's an anonymous text post flagged as urgent to the network. Does the network even have urgent flags? It apparently does now. Magic is great.]

ATTENTION, FLEET:
Today is the birthday of an incredibly amazing and talented person! The Vanquish's very own Hermione Granger!
It seems like she's keeping it secret, because she's humble along with everything else, but that won't do at all! People of importance have to be recognized!
So, be sure to shower her plenty of love and praise today, and also gifts! Birthday presents are important too!
All celebrators are to come to the Vanquish immediately!

This is how birthdays work, right?
brainiest: (deflates)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-02 10:32 am (UTC)(link)
No, I know. I don't blame them, really. I just wish it wasn't like this - because I am my magic. Maybe I'm too used to being trusted.
axiomed: (Please put me at ease)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-02 10:33 am (UTC)(link)
. . . I wish I knew what it was like. To be trusted. Ten years at the school has helped me in that regard. Time here has helped too, a little.
brainiest: (i specialize in bird law)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-02 10:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ She looks over, expression hesitant for a moment before she shifts closer. ]

I trust you. Nothing has changed that.
axiomed: (My rebel my hope)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-02 10:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ He smiles. ]

I know it hasn't. Otherwise I wouldn't have spoken of it. It's enough that some people do, than it is to look at the ones who don't.
brainiest: (bee movie)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-02 11:00 am (UTC)(link)
It's hard to remember sometimes. It hurts when people reject you, but... there are going to be people who will.

[ She softens, bowing her head to look at the mess of dog tags and charms around her neck. ]

The people you love and who love you... They're the ones that you should look to.
axiomed: (My head and my heart)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-02 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He nods. ]

It will always be hard, but thankfully, we're better than that.
brainiest: (eyes down)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-03 08:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Hermione wants to ask and say so many things, but she knows it's not the time. She might be tired of being the one holding things together, the one that has to be better, be good, haunted by her past and her mistakes, but she can't voice it. Instead, she sips her tea and nods her head, looking over at Charles with a fondness she can't hide. ]

... I've missed talking to you, you know. I hope you're a little more settled in now.
axiomed: (They could talk all night)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-04 11:26 am (UTC)(link)
I'm certainly improved.

[ On what, he won't say, though he softens a little. ] I'm sorry I took so long.
brainiest: (you could take a punch)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-04 04:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She shakes her head, smiling. ]

It doesn't matter how long it takes. As long as you're doing okay. That's what matters to me.
axiomed: (Kills you when you're young)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-09 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ He smiles back. ]

The reverse is true, you realize.
brainiest: (friendly conversation)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-09 12:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I know. And I'm going to do my best to be as forthcoming with you as I can be.
axiomed: (Left only with my godless mind)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-10 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
Then let me ask this.

Are you really okay?
brainiest: please don't take! (chin up buttercup)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-10 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She plays with her fingers idly for a moment before she breathes out, lifting her head up to look at Charles. ]

I... I'm not really sure.
axiomed: (Try and find the other side of you)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-11 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
Would you like to . . . [ He gestures to his head with a quirk of his fingers. His telepathy has improved, though his shields are not at its best. ]
brainiest: (he ate all the smores)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-11 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Hm? Oh! [ Hermione might know consciously that Charles is a telepath, but - she doesn't take advantage of it... Or she tries not to. Shifting, she turns her head back and offers him a smile. ] Are you sure?
axiomed: (By the end of the day)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-12 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ He shrugs, nonchalant. ]

Why not? It might be easier to express that way.
brainiest: (this is fine)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-12 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He's nonchalant, but Hermione is cautious, watching him before she softens. Nodding her head, she closes her eyes and tries to smile. ]

It is easier - I know that from experience. As long as you tell me to stop if it gets too much?
axiomed: (Leave the mind)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-13 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ He nods. ]

I promise.
brainiest: (the dog died)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-13 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She's still hesitant, but that's not because she doesn't trust Charles - it's because she doesn't want to place this on his shoulders. It doesn't feel right, no matter how many times he offers, how many versions of him she comes to care about.

But she does. She opens her mind and relaxes, just like she did so many times in the Drabwurld, and she just breathes.

What's pressing at the forefront of her mind is what she learned from Katsa, about Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh, who had tried to murder her best friend, who had called her a queen, a word Hermione had thought was meant for her, Gilgamesh who she had trusted so much and she now realises was likely laughing behind her back. Using her. Manipulating her for his own ends. Saying the right things to her, the perfect things, to make her do what she wanted, like a puppet.

It's enough to make her question her other friendships, or at least the ones she knew were touched by Gilgamesh himself. Did Dorian want other things from her as well? Did Flora? Gawain? Diarmuid she knew didn't, but that was only because they had been connected, mind to mind, spirit to spirit.

Under all of that, though, is something she can't escape from. Even with Katsa here, even with a friend close, there's a bone-deep, exhausting loneliness that she can't run away from. The only thing she can do is let it settle inside of her like some kind of sickness, sapping her energy even as she tries to be happy. She's so used to being around friends and family that being here and being alone... It's hurting her, and she doesn't know how to voice it. ]
axiomed: (Not anymore)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-15 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
[ Don't question everything in the past, he replies, otherwise you'll end up doubting everything you ever cared for. It's a dangerous path, one he's familiar with and he can empathize with that feeling. Only you should decide what matters and what doesn't. No one else should change that for you.

Loneliness, though. He can't take that away. There's no cure for that kind of feeling, only substitutes.

You need to find a purpose. I think that would help. ]
brainiest: (krabby patties made of crab?)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-15 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[ You make it sound so easy, Charles. Hermione doesn't mean to dwell and most of the time she's good at it - ignoring things and working hard to fight onwards has always been a strong point of hers, especially in the Drabwurld where disasters and curses kept happening, time and time again. But there are some things you can't help but think about. Things like that... It won't go away, no matter how hard I try.

Mostly because it haunts her, a set of red marks on her hand, the knowledge of being a Master, of what it means, how close she came to being bound to Gilgamesh for her entire life, not knowing the truth that was right in front of her nose.

Pursing her lips, she turns her gaze back to him and offers a small smile.

I don't suppose supplying every single ship with a lifetime supply of potions counts, does it? ]
axiomed: (When I met you)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-16 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
[ There's a silence that descends on her reply, as if he's holding himself back before it eases into the comfortable connection they have forged. It's raw, evoking, but still real in the way they trust. Tentative, guiding trust.

I have to, he says, I have to make it sound easy.

Erik and Charles were in love. Then they woke up one day and everything changed. Everything was gone. And Charles finds himself looking back wondering what happened, what had he done, what went wrong when he remembers doing it right for the first time in years.

There are no answers for that kind of feeling.

Probably not. But besides going home, what would you like to do? What do you think could make you feel like yourself? ]
brainiest: please don't take! (chin up buttercup)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-16 01:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She's completely open to Charles, and it's strange but she can almost feel when the connection comes back to her, how her heart bursts inside of her. It's trust, the kind she had almost forgotten, and it's always been there with Charles - time and distance hadn't stopped that. She doesn't think anything will, and perhaps that's overwhelming, but... She can't change herself.

Charles... There's no way for her not to move closer, and she shifts, wanting to wrap herself around him. She always does when they're open and sharing with each other like this, and she thinks she understands. Maybe Charles empathises with her in ways that are borne of more than just being in her mind.

She doesn't know how to ask, and so she breathes out, reaching for his hand, wanting to touch, wanting to feel connected. It's a physical reminder of her trust in him, and her eyes close as she lets herself feel it.

I don't think I can pass my NEWTs here, or fight in a war... Any war. I don't know if I can be the person I was before, and I can't be the Marchioness here either. I feel as though I'm stuck between two places waiting to see what happens to me. It sounds silly, doesn't it? ]
axiomed: (What you don't say)

[personal profile] axiomed 2016-10-17 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
[ Charles rests his hand on top of hers, knuckles brushing against his fingers. He's not unhappy and he's cognizant of that fact. Perhaps he's not happy because there is a void where something precious used to be and there's no solution. But his heart can hold so much more than that. It can carry a world.

He squeezes her fingers, continuing. You don't have to go back to before or after. How about the middle? What would you like to be on the Fleet? A guide? A learner? Someone who can offer something back or someone who needs to rediscover? ]
brainiest: (what's up)

[personal profile] brainiest 2016-10-17 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Maybe that's something that binds her and Charles together; they both want, at the end of the day, for the people around them to be happy. Hermione's happiness has depended on others for so long that now she's alone she's not entirely sure how to cope with it. Rebuilding her life when she feels a little empty and lost isn't as easy as it had been when she had first started in the Drabwurld.

Charles anchors her, and she takes a deep breath.

A guide, I suppose. Someone who can teach, who can - help other people. That's all I ever wanted to do, at home and in the Drabwurld. I wanted to do something good for the world, to make it better, to make people... Happier. ]

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