Caster | Tamamo-no-Mae (
castrationfist) wrote in
driftfleet2016-09-20 11:44 am
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Who: Caster, everyone, and one unfortunate victim.
Broadcast: Text! Anonymous text. She's so sneaky.
Action: On the Vanquish!
When: Backdated to yesterday, the 19th!
[Bright and early in the morning, there's an anonymous text post flagged as urgent to the network. Does the network even have urgent flags? It apparently does now. Magic is great.]
ATTENTION, FLEET:
Today is the birthday of an incredibly amazing and talented person! The Vanquish's very own Hermione Granger!
It seems like she's keeping it secret, because she's humble along with everything else, but that won't do at all! People of importance have to be recognized!
So, be sure to shower her plenty of love and praise today, and also gifts! Birthday presents are important too!
All celebrators are to come to the Vanquish immediately!
This is how birthdays work, right?
Broadcast: Text! Anonymous text. She's so sneaky.
Action: On the Vanquish!
When: Backdated to yesterday, the 19th!
[Bright and early in the morning, there's an anonymous text post flagged as urgent to the network. Does the network even have urgent flags? It apparently does now. Magic is great.]
ATTENTION, FLEET:
Today is the birthday of an incredibly amazing and talented person! The Vanquish's very own Hermione Granger!
It seems like she's keeping it secret, because she's humble along with everything else, but that won't do at all! People of importance have to be recognized!
So, be sure to shower her plenty of love and praise today, and also gifts! Birthday presents are important too!
All celebrators are to come to the Vanquish immediately!
This is how birthdays work, right?
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I trust you. Nothing has changed that.
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I know it hasn't. Otherwise I wouldn't have spoken of it. It's enough that some people do, than it is to look at the ones who don't.
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[ She softens, bowing her head to look at the mess of dog tags and charms around her neck. ]
The people you love and who love you... They're the ones that you should look to.
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It will always be hard, but thankfully, we're better than that.
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... I've missed talking to you, you know. I hope you're a little more settled in now.
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[ On what, he won't say, though he softens a little. ] I'm sorry I took so long.
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It doesn't matter how long it takes. As long as you're doing okay. That's what matters to me.
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The reverse is true, you realize.
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Are you really okay?
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I... I'm not really sure.
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Why not? It might be easier to express that way.
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It is easier - I know that from experience. As long as you tell me to stop if it gets too much?
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I promise.
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But she does. She opens her mind and relaxes, just like she did so many times in the Drabwurld, and she just breathes.
What's pressing at the forefront of her mind is what she learned from Katsa, about Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh, who had tried to murder her best friend, who had called her a queen, a word Hermione had thought was meant for her, Gilgamesh who she had trusted so much and she now realises was likely laughing behind her back. Using her. Manipulating her for his own ends. Saying the right things to her, the perfect things, to make her do what she wanted, like a puppet.
It's enough to make her question her other friendships, or at least the ones she knew were touched by Gilgamesh himself. Did Dorian want other things from her as well? Did Flora? Gawain? Diarmuid she knew didn't, but that was only because they had been connected, mind to mind, spirit to spirit.
Under all of that, though, is something she can't escape from. Even with Katsa here, even with a friend close, there's a bone-deep, exhausting loneliness that she can't run away from. The only thing she can do is let it settle inside of her like some kind of sickness, sapping her energy even as she tries to be happy. She's so used to being around friends and family that being here and being alone... It's hurting her, and she doesn't know how to voice it. ]
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Loneliness, though. He can't take that away. There's no cure for that kind of feeling, only substitutes.
You need to find a purpose. I think that would help. ]
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Mostly because it haunts her, a set of red marks on her hand, the knowledge of being a Master, of what it means, how close she came to being bound to Gilgamesh for her entire life, not knowing the truth that was right in front of her nose.
Pursing her lips, she turns her gaze back to him and offers a small smile.
I don't suppose supplying every single ship with a lifetime supply of potions counts, does it? ]
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I have to, he says, I have to make it sound easy.
Erik and Charles were in love. Then they woke up one day and everything changed. Everything was gone. And Charles finds himself looking back wondering what happened, what had he done, what went wrong when he remembers doing it right for the first time in years.
There are no answers for that kind of feeling.
Probably not. But besides going home, what would you like to do? What do you think could make you feel like yourself? ]
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Charles... There's no way for her not to move closer, and she shifts, wanting to wrap herself around him. She always does when they're open and sharing with each other like this, and she thinks she understands. Maybe Charles empathises with her in ways that are borne of more than just being in her mind.
She doesn't know how to ask, and so she breathes out, reaching for his hand, wanting to touch, wanting to feel connected. It's a physical reminder of her trust in him, and her eyes close as she lets herself feel it.
I don't think I can pass my NEWTs here, or fight in a war... Any war. I don't know if I can be the person I was before, and I can't be the Marchioness here either. I feel as though I'm stuck between two places waiting to see what happens to me. It sounds silly, doesn't it? ]
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He squeezes her fingers, continuing. You don't have to go back to before or after. How about the middle? What would you like to be on the Fleet? A guide? A learner? Someone who can offer something back or someone who needs to rediscover? ]
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Charles anchors her, and she takes a deep breath.
A guide, I suppose. Someone who can teach, who can - help other people. That's all I ever wanted to do, at home and in the Drabwurld. I wanted to do something good for the world, to make it better, to make people... Happier. ]
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