driftfleet | "My mind's like a deadly disease..."

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"My mind's like a deadly disease..."

Who: Wanda Maximoff
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Starstruck
When: Now

Broadcast - Text

[Wanda's presence, both in the Fleet's comms and aboard its vessels, has dwindled, slowly but surely, over the course of the past month. There was period of time, around the beginning of the month, when she couldn't be found or reached at all--save for by Misty, Vision and Pietro. More perceptive fleet members might recall that her disappearance occurred around the time that rumors of a dragon and its rider terrorizing Solrius were circulating about. However, she did pop back up a little while later, seemingly as though nothing was wrong. However, those that know her well may have picked up the subtle tells that there was something she was not saying. Something that she was trying to bury. And so, she became more and more scarce around the Fleet. At least, until now...]

What do you think happens after death?

[The message is short and simple. Anyone familiar with the festivities of the month of October, perhaps this is simply her way of trying to get into the spirit of things?]

Starstruck - Action

[Friends and shipmates of Wanda's, if they want to go looking for her, will find her either holed up in her bunkroom aboard the Starstruck, or in a corner of the ship's kitchen or shuttle bay at times she thinks no one would typically wander in. By the look on her face, it is clear something is troubling her.]

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[He's not quite prepared for the wrench in his heart when he does see Wanda. It isn't like the usual grief he suffers day by day; this is a stranger twist. In her he sees what he had believed ten years ago, when he had first learned of the fact that other versions of himself had children. He also sees what she's not - his child. He had always known that, of course, but it's written there starkly now. She isn't Nina. The separation of the two in his mind is abrupt and clean, like a knife slicing through cloth. Still, he had known this was going to be rocky, and apart from a flicker in his expression it doesn't show.

Erik comes over once he spots her, pausing a moment before sitting on another crate nearby.]

Wanda. It's good to see you again.

[Wanda only gives him a weak smile in response. The awkwardness of their relationship was abundantly clear to them both. As Wanda's earlier messages showed, she was just as much clear on the fact that Erik was not her and Pietro's father. But the fact that he had been in other times and other worlds... there was something in that that Wanda felt difficult to just ignore. Still, it did very little to help put her at ease for the moment.]

[Finally, when she does speak, her voice sounds strained. Not only due to her indecision about what to say to defuse this tension, but also, as evident from the look about her, just from whatever it is that has been plaguing her mind these past several days.]

Thank you... for coming.

[So much has happened to Erik, between that eventful conversation and them sitting here today. It's a bit surreal... but this isn't about him. The tension in the air is Wanda's discomfort more than his own, though he contributes plenty, he knows.]

It's no problem. I'm glad to visit. [Especially as he doesn't much like the idea of her hiding in the shuttle bay alone when something is troubling her. It's too much like his own behaviour of late.]

[Again, she smiles weakly at that. He can tell that he does mean those words, despite their mutual looks of discomfort at the moment.]

[After a moment of silence, Wanda then sighs. The expression on her face now just a grim mask of resignation.]

Well, I told you it was something you'd have to see yourself to understand...

[With that, she starts to undo the first few buttons of her top. It's just enough for her to be able to tug the collar slightly to the side and give Erik a view of looks to be the beginnings of a long, jagged scar that starts just below where Wanda's left collarbone meets her neck. Judging from the color of the scar -- the ghostly white paleness of it standing out in stark contrast to her natural complexion, it's fairly recent. Additionally, guessing by the look of the scar and its placement, the wound that created it would have to been life-ending. Skewering her through the heart, severing several major arteries and blood vessels. Yet, here she was sitting across from him. Though, at the moment, her expression almost looks like that of someone about to face their death.]

[He wishes he could feign ignorance of what a scar like that means. But he can't. How many of them has he amassed himself, from his various deaths? How many has he seen on other people? This isn't the same as those places, though - death here is far more rare, and until now he had no real confirmation that it was transient.

His expression grows pinched at the implication of what happened to Wanda. It's not something he would wish on anyone he cares about. He's seen too much of it lately, especially in those he loves. Loved. After a few protracted moments, he speaks up, drawing his eyes from the offending mark up to her face.]

I'm sorry. That this happened to you.

[She can tell he means it, too. His words and reaction bringing a little bit of a life back to her eyes. She buttons her top back up before responding.]

It happened. Little to be done about that now.

[A heavy sigh from Wanda.]

I am struggling to understand... No, that's not quite right. I'm struggling to accept that this... [She gestures weakly at the scar's location before her hand sinks back into her lap.] can happen. That I can be brought back from the dead, and then... what? What am I supposed to do? Go on as if nothing happened?

How am I supposed to do something like that?

[She states her questions out loud. Not necessarily directing it to Erik, but, as he is the only other person around, naturally it's open for him to answer if he feels he can or should.]

[He's quiet for a moment, looking off across the cargo hold.]

No. Not as if nothing happened. Death isn't a thing to forget, even if it hasn't stuck this once. It should always be remembered, as a warning.

[Turning back to look at Wanda again, he weighs up his options, and knows there's little benefit in staying silent. This isn't about him. It's about Wanda. However, it's a similar experience he's had, and that's worth something.]

In the places I've been before here, it happened a lot. It's happened to me as well. Even though that's the case... I've always thought death needed to be respected. [It was seeing others treat it as a temporary state that used to invoke his fury, no matter how often revivals happened. To just assume you'd always come back was dangerous.]

[Wanda looks at him almost as if she's seeing him for the first time. Just when she was thinking they'd already had enough in common, it seems there was one more item to add to the list.]

You... you have been through this, too? Death and resurrection? How--

[She stops herself, not sure if this was appropriate to ask, but... well, if Erik didn't want to answer he wouldn't, and she's sure he could understand why she'd ask it.]

How many times?

[He lets out a breath. He doesn't particularly want to shift the attention onto himself, but there's no other reason not to give the number.]

Eight.

[Wanda blinks at him several times, hardly believing what she just heard.]

Eight times?

I- [Wanda seems to be struggling with what she should say.][She hesitates again, again wrestling with herself over how to phrase her words.]

How did you... how were you able to keep on going each time?

[It's been years since he's really thought about those times. These days, he's preoccupied with the deaths of his family, while he's been left alive once again. He shakes his head after a moment, expression clouded.]

Because I had to. There were things that had to be done... people I had to protect. [He stumbles for a moment, a fresh wave of guilt at the fact he had failed in that task when it mattered most. When it was the real world, and people who died stayed dead.] I won't say it didn't affect me, because it did. But there's no real alternative.

You're alive now. That's the part that matters.

[Wanda takes a moment to think on Erik's words.]

People you had to protect...

[The faces of her friends her in the fleet flash in her mind. Wanda then gives a slow nod of the head.]

It's not so easily shaken off though, is it? This... this feeling that comes from knowing what it feels like... to die...

No. It isn't. Time will dull it, but it won't ever go away entirely. Much like anything else.

[Like any kind of loss. His expression goes distant for a moment, knowing that he's been told similar things before and only sometimes believes it. Some things fade for him, only to be reignited years down the track. Others... stay fresh.]

[Wanda looks somewhat disappointed by Erik's words, and yet... they are not exactly unexpected. That is, she knows what he is saying is a truth. This experience... dying... it will not be something that she ever fully forgets. It is a part of her now. Moving forward, it is not about discarding the memory, but about not allowing it to keep her from what is still more important -- protecting those she cares about.]

[There's a heavy sigh from her. She then gives Erik a small, gracious smile followed by an appreciative nod of the head.]

[She's quiet for a moment before she then asks hesitantly:]

Does... does anyone else know about... what happened to you?

[He nods soberly.]

Charles, and Hank. They were present for much of it.

[And there are others who know from being in the same place, and perhaps he had told Kitty that he's died before... but it's Charles and Hank who really know.]

[She studies Erik's face as he speaks and for an extra second or two after. A small grin makes its way to Wanda's lips.]

You two are close, aren't you? You and Charles.

[There's a brief pang in his heart. They were close, but in so many ways they were further apart than they had ever been. Erik may spend time with Charles most days, yet it's a pale imitation of the way things used to be. In response, he just nods.]</small We've known each other for over twenty years now, and been through a lot of the same things. ... he was the first other mutant I ever met.

Twenty years...

[The grin lingering on her face.]

That sounds like enough time to get know someone well enough.

And Hank?

[Any response he could give would be far too loaded with history. So instead he answers her new query.]

I've known Hank just as long, though we haven't been as close.

[Wanda nods.]

I imagine it was a relief to have them alongside you while going through all this...

[Though, in her case, both Vision and Pietro were currently comatose, and Misty seemed to be avoiding her at the moment. It all made Wanda suddenly feel very, very alone. Her expression mirroring her inner thoughts, as Wanda looks about ready to breakdown.]

[He doesn't respond to that. Doesn't say that it wasn't always a relief, because they would die just as often, or at different times. But having that shared understanding... that was invaluable. And Erik can see in Wanda's face, the way it shifts towards something shakier, that she's lacking that.

The part of him that keenly misses his daughter, being a parent, can hardly bear it. Wanda is not his child; he knows this. He is still a father though. At times like this, he finds he still behaves like one.

After a moment, he reaches out and puts a hand on her shoulder. He doesn't prompt her to respond in anyway - that's for her to decide, if she wants more closeness or support.]

Wanda. It's all right to break.

[She tenses when he touches her shoulder. It's a final attempt by her to try and keep it all down. All the pain and emotions she's feeling. But it's finally just too much. It's like a damn breaking as her shoulders relax, sag and start to shake. Her sobbing starts becoming more audible, and she buries her face in her hands. A futile effort to try and hide the tears that are now streaming down her face, between her fingers, and over the backs of her hands. Taking this all so far on her own, it's been far, far too hard.]

[Erik says nothing else, no words of comfort. Instead, he loops his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in quietly. It's hard to watch, this breaking of spirit. He wonders if he ever looked like this after dying... probably. He definitely did in the days and weeks after his family died.

So words are irrelevant. Reminding Wanda that she isn't alone is what matters.]

[She doesn't resist as he pulls in closer for a tighter embrace. In fact, once she's close enough, she turns into his chest, burying her face there. Her hands clinging weakly to the front of his jacket. As her shoulders shake, and the only sound coming out of her are the deep intakes of breath between cascades of tears.]

[He does nothing more than rub her back slightly. Providing a weight to lean against is the best thing he can do now. These kinds of scars fade with time, and if she's lucky - he hopes she is - this will be her first and only brush with death. He no longer remembers how harrowing it was, the first time he died, because it had happened so often. To have it happen and no one near you understand it was something he had never had to endure.

It's old memories that has him murmur "Jesteś w porządku" while Wanda cries against him, but he has enough presence of mind to fall silent after that.]

Edited 2017-01-17 08:31 (UTC)

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notmutantbutmiracle - 2017-01-17 12:25 (UTC) - Expand

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exothermia - 2017-01-19 09:25 (UTC) - Expand

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