🍭 ００５ ｜ ｔｅｘｔ

[benames]

Yo fleeters -

Can I just say I'm like 95% relieved we left Planet Creeperfuck and its creepy as fuck messages behind? I say 95% because there's a legit 5% chance that the moment I relax will be the moment I get eaten.

I actually have a few other things to bring up except for alien movie tropes:

1. thumbs up to everyone who came to the winnsco halloween party. major thumbs up to those who stayed to help us clean up.

2. superheroes, enhanced humans, friendly, gorgeous alien ladies ( sup kara ) and other supereverythings - I have a bone to pick with you regarding a creepily fast hologram of a creepily fast creepily-everything speedster from my world. I want to make sure that if he comes here, we're not doomed so if you want to practice your moves, I'm your man.

regular humans are always invited but lemme tell you, it's pointless to shoot at a speedster and also I think hank has a rule about no bullets on our ship.

3. I have started preparing for my first ever Space Christmas. if you need twinkle lights or other engineered decorations, I'm at the blameless, you can come and order some. free of charge if your'e willing to help.

4. yes, there will be space engineered mistletoe. no, you don't get a choice where it goes. yes, I have spies everywhere. yes, it will give you a minor electric shock if you try to remove it. yes, I will know about it.

Comments

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[ladybro]

dude i can bake cookies. i'll just 'borrow' clint's kitchen over on the first breath.

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[benames]

dude that's sweet

we're getting cookies?

I could hug you rn

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[ladybro]

I am just a bunk-room away, you know.

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[benames]

you're around? i'm on my way

is the dog there? he keeps trying to squish my face.

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[ladybro]

I'm around. Lucky's around. He kiiiinda looks like he wants some Cisco cuddles, yeah.

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[benames]

[ an odd scene will unfold in mere moments, cisco stumbles in, all tangled up in his recent attempt at twinkle lights before being tackled down by - ]

Lucky - yo - hold on -

[ fine, ok, he'll give him cuddles. ]

sup, kate.

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[ladybro]

Lucky! Be gentle, boy. [ which he is, of course, 'cause he's an old and half-blind creature and he's gentle above all else until a tracksuit walks into the room. ]

If you got snacks in your pockets he'll steal him. Careful. Pretty sure Clint spoils him.

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[benames]

Only an old protein bar - dude, you don't want it, it's gross.

[ he flops next to her, kicking the twinkle lights off ]

They're almost done. Not bad, right?

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[ladybro]

I like'em. How many strings have you got?

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[benames]

I think I reached an even sixty last night.

[ he kicks away the remaining strings. ]

but if we're gonna hand some out, I'll need to double that number.

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[ladybro]

Need help?

[ she's sitting on her bed, too, so she nudges him with a foot. ]

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[benames]

Uh - yeah. I can't look at any more twinkle lights, all I've been doing is twinkle lights, I fell asleep tangled in twinkle lights.

[ he gestures towards the pile. ]

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[ladybro]

I've got good fingers. [ she claims with a crooked smile -- and waggling them for him to inspect. ] Let me help. At the absolute least, lemme just screw bulbs into place. Or whatever else required.

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[benames]

Alright, I name you my first assistant. We'll make this the best space Christmas in the history of the galaxy.

[ fist bump! ]

now, what I really need is a place to shop for presents.

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[ladybro]

[ she knocks knuckles, smiling. normally, she doesn't settle for sidekick. but today, it feels like an honourable gesture. ]

Who've you got left to shop for?

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[benames]

Well, I got stuff in the game room for tons of people but I am a master at gift giving. I just need some more resources.

[ grumbling ]

seriously, what are we going to end up giving each other? Christmas protein bars?

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[ladybro]

[ a snort. ]

Or we could try and put together gift-baskets from everyone's sponsor drops. [ she's joking. this is made more clear when she adds: ] Remy got, like, a ton of condoms. Condoms for everyone. Merry Christmas.

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[benames]

[ there is a cackle and another ]

Happy Christmas, have safe sex on New Year's Eve, ain't nobody delivering a space baby on live television.

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[ladybro]

Yeesh. There's an after-school special I'm totally okay with skipping.

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[benames]

--- though you know, it's not a bad gift, overall.

[ makes sense. ish. ]

knowing some of the couples I know, it's actually necessary.

[ ahem winn and kitty, ahem. ]

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[ladybro]

Right? God, I dunno how they do it. [ ... ] I mean. I know how. Just...

[ it's a rare sight to see kate even fractionally flustered. she frowns. ] I never wanna be part of a cheesy night-vision camera moment where the reality show contestants have the covers pulled all the way over their heads and some mook is subtitling all their lame flirty talk for the audience. Way too Jersey Shore for me. [ ... ] And this from someone who actually likes Jersey.

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[benames]

Yeah, I used to think that.

[ in a way, it still makes sense but at the same time - he thinks of Hermione and shifts. ]

but you know, sometimes you just meet someone and you don't - it's like, fuck them sideways and you just wanna - go for it.

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[ladybro]

Dunno. It'd have to be a pretty damn special kinda someone.

[ like -- more special than nearly all of her exes. combined. ]

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[benames]

Yeah.

[ another agreement, this time accompanied by a smile. ]

Yeah, I can see what you mean.

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[ladybro]

I mean -- don't get me wrong. I'm not about to argue I'm saving myself for marriage. That ship has already sailed. [ and she's got nothing against casual sex, so long as it's smart. ]

But the cameras? Yeah, it'd have to be damn worth it.