video.

[edwinjarvis]

Who: Mr. Jarvis and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today!

[The video begins with a fellow in a well-pressed suit and a carefully adjusted tie, all befitting someone who puts the most care into looking a well-kept part in society. His poor hair could do with some pomade - it hangs a bit, droops like a wilted leaf on his forehead, but otherwise he's made sure to keep his dignity in the wake of this... horrible event. He's been clearly kidnapped. Kidnapped! He prays Miss Carter is safe somewhere; the last thing he remembers is being hit with a tranquilizer, but he can't seem to remember if it had been a terribly dangerous affair. Didn't they have the assailant in their trunk? Oh, what a beast the man had been. He will attempt to keep his composure regardless. It's his job.]

While I appreciate that you've let me keep my reading glasses, I'm afraid I won't be broken in by such... backwards methods. Whoever you are and wherever you have... taken me, I can assure you that you've chosen a terrible person to kidnap and that kindness will earn you nothing of use. I'm just the butler; a chauffeur, and I'll have little to offer you, unless you would like to learn how to properly fold any and all manner of clothing.

... Or how to properly prepare a dining table.

[I imagine nothing of that sort will interest you, you're probably all thuggish barbarians.]

If you think you'll get anything at all from me otherwise — well!

[He folds his arms, and though he's concerned for his health in the future (god please don't murder me whoever you people are), he is doing his best impression of an impassive, dry-witted butler. As always. He doesn't sell it perfectly, but at least he's selling it, and that's what matters. Look how tough and unbreakable I am. Can't hurt a butler when he's down.]

You're sorely mistaken.





[........ brb fumbling now]


How do I turn this thing off?

Comments

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[edwinjarvis]

Correct — London, England.

[which was randomly chosen because jarvis is an enigma

But oh! So this is one of the people he's been told about.

She seems quite nice for someone potentially deadly. Story of his life.]

Wanda Maximoff; you've a brother, correct? Ms. Carter informed me you'll be quite the company to keep.

Video

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda blinks at him, suddenly confused that is now seemingly in the position of knowing less than Jarvis -- he'd only just arrived hadn't he? How could he know she has a brother? Furthermore, what the hell did he mean by "quite the company to keep." She can infer what that likely meant, but she's not so sure she likes the connotation.]

Ms. Carter?

[Yeah, Wanda hasn't heard Peggy's last name yet... Least not that she currently remembers.]

Video

[edwinjarvis]

Yes, Ms. Carter.

[... Oh, are people here actually using her first name? Perhaps this is a Stark situation and they're throwing around 'Peg'. Jarvis has always been far too impersonal with names for his own good, but in a way, their lack of using first names had been almost endearing anyway.]

Peggy Carter, that is. I sometimes assist in her... adventures back home.

A part-time butler of sorts, if you will.

[Though Peggy would staunchly evade the idea of having a butler, he thinks.]

[notmutantbutmiracle]

Peggy Carter...

[It takes Wanda a moment to remember the context in which she's heard that name. Having not actually met her ship's appointed captain in person yet, her only point of reference is what her brother told her.]

Oh, Steve Roger's woman.

You are her assistant from back home?

[edwinjarvis]

[He would spittake if he had any drink to speak of, thank you.]

Oh, y-yes. That's... one way to put it.

[QUITE INAPPROPRIATE. But then he hears that a lot back home.]

I would consider myself as much, anyway. She's far more suitable as the hero of the story.

[He gives a little smile at the visual cooked up.]

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[She tilts her head to the side. A slightly bemused looking grin on her face. Though, she has a feeling Pietro's gonna kill her later for parroting his word choice.]

Did I get it wrong?

[She crosses her arms.]

"The hero of the story..." What line of work is Ms. Carter involved in exactly?

[She puts extra emphasis on the name, mockingly imitating Jarvis's apparent deference for Peggy. Considering she is close to Rogers, she can already infer what exactly it is, but right now she's starting to have fun poking at this poor, polite butler.]

[edwinjarvis]

[........... Did I do a no-no?

Oh dear, have I accidentally divulged something...?

But Carter didn't say anything about being discreet about her job to this Wanda.]

You're not familiar with Ms. Carter? I apologize, I assumed you were closer.

[SWEATS]

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda sighs at that. Her smile disappearing, and instead her expression becomes one of more disappointment and frustration.]

She's the captain of the ship I'm on. That is all I know. That and her and Steve being a couple. That is all I've been told.

I assume... what you're referring to is the me that people claim to have known for over a year. Sorry, but I'm not her. If I am, then I don't remember anything. So I might as well not be her anyways.

[She was getting really tired of feeling like she's competing with herself. Living up to some standard or image that everyone seemed to have of her before she's even met them.]

[edwinjarvis]

I... see.

Then you're relatively new yourself?

[HIS BAD.]

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[She nods. A flicker of a grin returning. She appreciates that he's willing to treat her as a fellow new arrival. Everyone else she's spoken with... they all look at her and treat her like she's not really there. It's like they're all looking through her at someone not really there. It gets old really quick.]

Yes, though I've got a good two weeks on you.

[She sighs.]

Not that that means I have any better of a handle on everything here than you do.

[edwinjarvis]

I appreciate the company, at least.

[Silver linings.]

Do you believe this concept, that we're... on a television show? And people genuinely watch it?

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda snorts at that. Looking even further displeased now. Pretty much shows what she thinks of that "reality TV show" explanation.]

That's what everyone keeps saying, but no one can offer any proof to it. Apparently the only evidence is that we have ratings which give determines the amount of our "allowance." And on occasion apparently we might receive packages from our "adoring fans."

[Wanda could not possibly sound more cynical right now.]

[edwinjarvis]

Surely it must be hogwash. Wouldn't someone find the cameras they're watching us with?

[notmutantbutmiracle]

That was my thought. Apparently, everyone seems to think the cameras are either too small for us to tell they are there, or "our hosts" have some other form of advanced technology that makes it possible for them to film us without our noticing.

[edwinjarvis]

... Small cameras could be possible. But how small can they possibly make them, if they're invisible to the naked eye? [.............. SIGH] Who am I kidding, Mr. Stark will probably try to patent such a thing in the future.

Regardless, one would think with our united capabilities, we'd be able to track even small cameras, wouldn't we? Or notice some sort of watching force...

[notmutantbutmiracle]

Yes, you would think--

[Wanda cuts herself off. Something Jarvis had just said catches in her brain, and she now starts a look almost... threatening?]

Did you say "Stark?"

1/3

[edwinjarvis]

Oh yes, yes, Mr. --

[edwinjarvis]

[edwinjarvis]

... I would like to, um, extend my... sincerest apologies for any of -- Howard's promiscuous and deviant behavior.

You're a lovely young lady and you deserve far better than he can afford.

1/2

[notmutantbutmiracle]

Howard? You said "Stark." As in Tony Stark?

And why are you apologizing for--

2/2

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda's perturbed confusion suddenly evaporates as the meaning behind Jarvis' apology dawns on her.]

JUST WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING EXACTLY?!

1/2

[edwinjarvis]

[Oh. Oh dear. This is the worst nightmare.

Perhaps he is dead and in the seven circles of hell.]

[edwinjarvis]

I'm not implying -- it's --

... Howard Stark... often causes these sorts of...

That is...

[I'm gonna start sweating]

I didn't mean to... offend...

Sorry this is so late; took me a week to decide if Wanda would let this go or not... ;_;

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[The look on Wanda's face clearly stating that she's not ready to let this slide just yet.]

You didn't mean to offend? By insinuating that I slept with this "Howard Stark?!" HOW CAN YOU THINK I WOULD NOT BE OFFENDED?!

lol no prob!

[edwinjarvis]

No! That wasn't my intended insinuation at all —

I, um. It's just — usually I deal with fallout from Stark's lady friends in general. The level of... romancing is not often of any concern...! [He looks entirely defeated, pardon.] ... I don't usually deal with other reasons why women are unhappy to hear his name. This is new to me.