driftfleet | [002 🐚 Action]

Entry tags:

[002 🐚 Action]

Who: Jeyne and YOU!
Broadcast: N/A
Action: S.S. Blue Fish, S.S. Iskaulit, Anywhere
When: Jan 6th

Iskaulit

[Since hearing of it from Beverly, Jeyne visited the gardens at least twice in a week. With her lessons in medicine increasing, it seemed a wise idea to test the various plants and determine what sort of use they might have. With small samples, she is able to experiment and test, all mainly with herself (as she wouldn't want to subject anyone else to this.) Some plants are recognizable or close to what she knew in her world. For the rest? It's a guessing game.

Her latest project is a sweet smelling salve. When not attempting to mix it with other plants, she rubs it gently on her wrists, smelling the aroma with a small smile.]

Blue Fish

[From one type of experimenting to another. With very few patients to treat, Jeyne has begun to occupy herself with different skills, determined to learn them and no longer be a wastrel. She practices her cooking when able, sometimes not burning the meal and slowly making something that looks nearly appetizing. She continues her lessons with Beverly in medicine, dutifully taking notes. When not with Beverly, she reads over all the information she compiled, committing it to memory and practicing in her head. There are times when she wanders to the cargo deck, toying with her bow (sans arrows), muttering to herself as she works at her aiming.

It's a bit difficult without a target or arrows, but she doesn't intend to injure anyone...even if it would help improve her medical training.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I believe you wholeheartedly. But I do not think that it is your choice to make, Jeyne. [Suddenly he has no idea what he wants from her at this point. Maybe he was being foolish to believe that anything could work here, while everything fell apart at home. How could he live here and forget about what he has done? How could he laugh while everyone suffered because Robb Stark had to play the king?

Still, he waits and somewhere he hopes she would come to him and embrace him and kiss the crushing guilt away. But she does not come. She turns in her bed and hides under the blankets instead.]

You truly wish to continue this game? [He should be the bigger man and turn now. No man should bow to a woman's whims.]

It is the only other choice I can make in the whole of my life. [Robb had been her first choice, hers alone and not influenced by her mother. She was not a puppet and wouldn't be bullied into forgetting Robb. Even before the Lannisters, she showed open mourning.] You are not someone that will ever be replaced.

[She hears him still in the room, well aware of his presence before he speaks. She had expected him to turn on his heel and storm off, but as they had never fought like this before, she couldn't exactly predict how things would go between them.

She only knew that she wanted him to crawl into bed beside her and hold her against him, kissing away her fears and guilt. It's all a matter of who breaks first.]

You believe I am playing a game? [That gets her to sit up again.]

[Robb is silent when she speaks, his eyes focused on the ground. Some foolish part of him had hoped that he had beat all of this once and for all. That he was coming to terms with the legacy he left. That he could separate the past from his time here. He moves a hand through his hair while he tries to make sense of his thoughts, of his wants, of his feelings.]

I am not worthy of being your lord husband.

[And then he sighs, utterly defeated.]

I have no idea. I have no bloody idea what this is. Or what we are. [He moves his hands through his hair.] Gods, I love you so much...but I cannot ever... [There's frustration in his voice and for a moment he glances at the door. He needs to go.]

[It astounds her that he believes he's not worthy of her. She's been holding on to the shame of her family, the fact that she's lost everything, not just him. Her illusions and belief that there could be good coming out of the chaos had been crushed and on top of it all, she believed she was his ruination.

Yet somehow, he still thought she was worth something more. It hurt so deeply.]

I'm not worthy of you.

[It's a bit ridiculous they both think this way, and that it has left them pulling away from the other.]

Robb...[She's breaking down, beginning to cry and ache for him. The truth of the matter comes out in a near whisper.] I don't want to lose you. I love you.

[When he was younger Robb has learned many great things. He learned how to use a sword and how to ride a horse. He learned how to become Winterfell's future lord. He could read and write. He knew how to behave, how to command and how to wage war. And he could be well-spoken and gallant. But he could also take his sword and hack at everything that came in his way.

He was sure that he was going to be a good lord of Winterfell. Like his father was. He would marry happily and have a big family. Lots of strong sons and fertile daughters. He would call them after his father, his mothers and all the old kings who ruled the North in the past and the queens that stood by their sides.

But he didn't knew anything about his own feelings. And even now, now he was slowly opening up, slowly getting in touch with that part of him that has been lost for quite a long time, he can't find proper words for this.]

Don't say that. There are better men out there. Men who are brave. [He frowns.] All I wish is to be in my room and hope the guilt will leave me be for at least a couple of hours so I can sleep. It feels... it feels heavy.

[The smile that appears around his mouth is painfully sad. He loves her and he aches for her. As if it is the last thing in the world that can save him.]

You have my heart forever.

[There had been so much hope for her future, the oldest daughter of the Westerlings. Her mother had come from the merchant class and married a lord of his own hold, yet somehow it wasn't enough for her. She wanted her daughter to be the wife of a Lannister and long ago tried to groom her for such a life.

Yet she never had considered that Jeyne's heart could not be so easily confined or purchased by wealth and opulence. When she met Robb, he wasn't a king but a man in her care. She didn't get to witness his magnetism and might. Instead, she saw him in his frailty and illness, seeing a man that was as mortal as she was. He wasn't a legend, a king that could turn into a wolf or rode a wolf into battle. He was a boy of her age, a man in need of love as she was.

She knew her feelings and her heart, but she carried a secret that lessened her optimism and belief that she was worthy. Had they brought her here before his death, perhaps she wouldn't be pushing him away. But it was hard to determine what might be when she could clearly see what was.

All she knew was that she needed him. She loved him and couldn't face a life without him, not when she tasted something so beautiful and so deep as what they shared.]

You are brave. You face each day with this guilt and find the means to carry on. It seems small, but there are men that would not be capable of that much. I never cared that you were a king or lead an army, Robb. I only ever wanted the man that you are. You have such a good heart, but it's never had a chance to be displayed openly. Not when you had a crown and other worries. Gods, I would rather be a pawn in the Atroma's games, so long as it meant that I could be with that man.

[She weakened, needing his touch and the life he seemed to spark back into her. Hesitantly, she held out her hand for him, silently asking for him to join her.]

[Robb drags his hands over his face and sighs deeply as he listens to her words. They were each other's downfall, even he would always think that his role in all of it was way bigger than hers.]

You made me so happy. Then and now. You have always made me so happy. I cannot believe you find yourself unworthy, you brought me so much happiness. So much warmth.

[His words were a whisper. Soft and barely audible.]

I need you. I need you because otherwise I...I might end up as a mad man. [At times he fears that. That the guilt will dictate his life. That he would lose focus.] Don't turn away from me like you did. Because of something utterly...stupid.

[When she offers him her hand he steps forward and takes hold of it. Their hands fit well together. His a little bigger than hers but her fingers longer than his.]

[How could she ever worry that he might want another? He was a Stark, bearing an honor befitting of his household, but also rare and beautiful in a world of madness. She loved that about him, along with so much else. To doubt him would be to doubt the love between them. She couldn't do that, not now and not ever.

He was all she wanted.]

I love you so deeply. My heart is your and only yours. Nothing will separate it from you, not death, not the gods, nothing. I am yours alone.

[Hang the Lannisters and anyone else who said otherwise.]

I'm sorry. [For so much more than her family. For turning away from him and letting her jealousy take control. It was stupid and she made them both suffer needlessly.] Stay with me. Please don't go.

[She tugged him gently, drawing him closer to the bed.]

I can't bear to be away from you. I'm so sorry.

[Robb can be extremely stubborn towards others and ridiculously strict for himself. But when Jeyne speaks like that, her voice soft and full of love and regret.]

Do not tell me what I already know. I do not doubt your love. Your heart. I have never doubted you.

[He doubted himself with every step he took. But he never had any doubt about her, her feelings, her words, her love. And, of course, guilt still haunted him. It still held him down and made nights long and a bit of an ordeal. But things were bearable with her at his side. Better. Brighter.]

You are forgiven, sweetling. We have spent too many words about this.

[Finally he moves to sit on her bed so he can take his boots off. After that he turns to her and pulls her close to him.]

[She curled into his arms, trembling as the tears finally stopped. The overwhelming emotions he brought on her were like a stormy sea. All she could do was ride the waves and trust that she would make it to shore.

Moments like these were why she suffered through her guilt. Just to be in his arms, she would bear so much more.]

No more words, no more nights alone.

[She just wanted him. Guiding him, she raised her face up towards him, inviting him to kiss her once again.]

[It is a relief to hold her again. He can feel the tension flowing out of his body and the worries settle down inside his head. They have no place here. It is still a mystery how she is able to do that to him. To make him feel at ease in a world on fire.]

And no tears anymore either.

[Apparently they both found themselves unworthy of their love and Robb hopes that she will let it go fast. It is his legacy that collapsed and he took everything and everyone with it. The ones who stayed safe were those who turned their cloaks.]

All is well between us. And if anything occurs, just speak of it.

[Not that he is someone who tends to speak easily. He moves to kiss her briefly, a soft touch of his lips against her. After that he pulls back so he can get comfortable underneath the sheets.]

Come.

[She didn't need to use the upgrade in her augment with Robb, he seemed naturally lulled by the feel of her arms and the gentleness of her presence.]

No more tears.

[She couldn't speak of it all, though she wanted to. There were some things that were too horrific to speak of. What was more, she feared his response if he learned all that her mother did. He would turn away from her, he would hate her. She was more his downfall than he knew and she couldn't bear that guilt.]

I will try. [She couldn't swear she would, but she would offer that much.

She rested her head against his chest as they held each other beneath the sheets. His warmth filling her once more.]

Did you sleep at all these past few nights?

[Robb closes his eyes because he can feel a headache coming up. He still finds himself wondering is living here is so much better, if it will be better in the long run. And if he will ever overcome the guilt that is holding him down.

He gets comfortable when Jeyne moves to lie on top of him, her head resting on her chest.]

I am not known for having a good sleep at night. [He is mostly awake and when he sleeps it is all nightmares.] I think you have slept better, not? More space in your bed.

[She feels warm against him and everything feels extremely soothing. Finally he gets the idea to turn his head so he can kiss her properly, claiming her lips the way only a lover can.]

[He felt warm against her, the touch of him soothing her in ways she couldn't describe. He chased away the chill that had seemed to infect her very being. She had only punished herself by pushing him away.

Her fingers ran over him, gently caressing his form.]

You seem to sleep better when we are together. [If he had nightmares, she never heard them.] No. That is why I haven't slept very well. I wake during the night and you aren't here. I need you.

[She succumbed to his kiss, sighing against his lips. Gently, she fingers ran over his cheek, basking in the feel of him.]

You have the truth of that. [He has wrapped an arm around her and holds her close.] You always know how to calm my mind. [And keep nightmares at bay. And make everything look so much more sane.] Then you should not turn away from me like that. [Robb needs to get that off his chest. It had been something he did not expect. Certainly not now their relationship is growing so much. Now he overcame his death and came to live her with her by his side.] I need you as well, you know of that.

[Kissing her stops that train of thoughts and he hums softly when he feels her fingers sliding over his cheek. She is so warm, so close and her lips are so sweet.

The only reason he finally breaks the kiss is to get some air.]

What if I... [He murmurs the words softly.] ...we... What if we try to get a child here?

I know I shouldn't, but I wanted to think and sort everything in my head. [It's a poor excuse and she knows it. She didn't want to think about her reasoning, she wanted to be with her husband and forget the hurts of the past.] I do know that. We are one and the same, unable to be without the other. You are the other part of me.

[The kiss consumes her, filling her once more with hope and happiness. The passion between them never seemed to lessen, only increase as time went by.

The sudden questions pulls her sharply from the beauty of his kiss and back into a matter that had caused them both so much anxiety. Yet she couldn't deny it was something that had been on her mind as well.

She had asked Beverly about testing her and making certain that she could bear children, but hadn't yet undergone the procedure. There was too much fear in her heart, apprehensive about what the results might reveal about her mother or about her.

But that wasn't the largest issue, it was whether or not they could even create life in this world.]

Do you think it's possible? What about the Atroma? Would they let us?

[It is not that much of a poor excuse. He would do the same thing, at least it was either that or the other. He lashes out verbally and let his anger do the talking, or he would become distant and overly formal. Even though life has changed so much he still has difficulty to face his own feelings and understand them properly.]

I do not want us to fight, Jeyne. This is our last chance to make something of everything. It would be folly to be wary of one another. A waste of time. [He sighs.] But you had the right to be angry about what I have done.

[His hand find hers and he nods at her words.]

Of course, there will be a risk. This is not a normal situation to be in. But I... [He rubs his eyes with his free hand.] ...I truly want to look... Gods, it is selfish...but every time someone asks me what I truly want the only thing I can think of is holding our child.

[A pause.]

Our son.

[She had seen him angry before, seething with rage. The only time that she had seen him truly willing to kill a man had been when Black Walder had threatened to kill her. It was only through her own tears and intercession that Robb spared the man.

What a mistake that had been on her part.]

Nor do I. [He was all she had left. There was no home to return to and no family either. She surrendered all of it to be with him once more.] The gods gave us a second chance. [The gods or the Atroma.] You were lonely and miserable. I shouldn't have been jealous. If anything were to happen to me or I was sent home...I would want you to find happiness and love again.

[She kisses his fingers, holding tightly to him, as though it were enough to keep her rooted in this place.]

Robb...I-

[She was afraid, gods help her. He worried of being selfish and she feared disappointing him.]

I thought that you believed me to be barren? I want to see our son as well. I would like to bring him into this world and to give you the family we were denied.

[When Robb felt lonely he focused on his war. When Robb was angry he stared at his maps, trying to find some path that hadn't been discovered yet. He had nothing here. Here it stayed in his head and it made him confront his feelings instead of pushing them away.]

The gods have nothing to do with it. [He stares at the ceiling when he speaks, enjoying the safe warmth of Jeyne's body against his.] I do not want to think about that. You leaving.

[Robb frowns when she mentions that.]

I do believe you are barren. [He doesn't like saying it.] We have tried so many times. But I think it can be cured. These modern treatments can.

[It hurt to think that he believed the matter to be her fault rather than suspecting that there might be some other reason. She couldn't blame him though. How could he foresee what her mother was capable of. Might be capable of. She couldn't accept that her body was the true traitor.]

I don't believe I am. [She placed her hands on his cheek, pressing her brow to his.] I can't explain it, but I truly believe that I am capable of bearing a child.

Please trust me.

[It weren’t pretty words. To admit to his lady wife that he believes she is unable to get with child. They have shared one another’s bed so many times. When they were together he took her. He hoped for a heir, every time again. But it never came. The only thing that did came was her moon blood.]

Every woman can bear a child. But to make a man’s seed quicken...is another thing. [Not that Robb Stark knows about the inside workings of women. They had teats, a cunt, a slender form and inside their belly was a place for babies.]

Trusting you has never been a problem, sweetling. [He moves a hand through her hair.]

[She had trusted the wrong person, believing her mother's posetts were to help her conceive. But there had never been any good to come out of the magic of Maggy the Frog's bloodline.]

It isn't that, Robb. I...[she took a small breath] I think something was done to prevent us from bearing a child. Intentionally done.

[She buried herself in his arms.]

I would never hurt you, Robb. I love you truly and deeply. Remember that always.

[His eyes narrow at her words and he stirs underneath her.

It would not surprise him, really. Everyone betrayed him in every way and apparently he has to die first to realize all that. He has been a blind fool.]

Hmn... And how would that have been? [All he knew was of her mother’s herbal potions to prevent fertility. And...ah. Of course. He never had the idea that the lady Spicer liked him a lot. And there was the fact that house Westerling is allied with the Lannisters. For ages and ages.

He had been a fool to think that a marriage, kindness and the promise of a kingdom would undo all that. Just like offering his uncle to marry Roslin would do as well.] ...your lady mother, I take? [He does not want to make it sound like an accusation but it does leave his mouth like that.

It hurts and Robb does not like to be hurt.]

[He comes upon the answer before she can even speak the words, sparing her from further facing her suspicions. It hurts to consider and her mind freezes in terror that he might blame her or hate her for the sins of her mother.]

I don't know for certain. [There was no proof, only the realization that if her mother could sacrifice her daughter's happiness in the way she had, she was just as capable of drugging her. Raynald died because of her plotting, yet all she could crow over was the coming marriages for her children.

She was a woman willing to do anything, it seemed]

Robb, I- [There is so much more to tell him, but she cannot. She is a coward and instead holds him tighter against her.] She didn't care for anyone, I think. Not even her children.

There is a way to learn the truth.

[Robb gazes at Jeyne when she speaks. She is not certain. Yet, it was her mother that gave her potions to ‘heighten fertility’. It could easily be moon tea, gods, what do they know of herbs and potions?]

What I have heard...the Westerlings have crawled back to the Lannisters right after my death. The last thing they could use is their daughter carrying my heir. [He moves to cover his face and rub his eyes.] If you would have been pregnant they’d...make sure the babe would not stand a chance.

[There is an enormous strain in his voice when he speaks.]

But it would mean...you might not be barren after all. [That was the only good thing he got out of this.] I wish I haven’t been such a fool.

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