Iskaulit mingle

[lord_wizard]

Who: Anyone!
Broadcast: No
Action: Iskaulit
When: Feb. Drift Week (and beyond?)

[The fleet, more or less patched up after their battle, has once again left civilization behind for empty space. Maybe it's a good time to distract yourself and get away from the endless repairs and nothingness, though there might still be cleaning up that needs to be done here too.

Whether you're grabbing a broom or grabbing a drink, this is a fleetwide mingle for the Iskaulit.]

Comments

[uprightness]

That, too.

[ a frown as he considers the subject. ]

I'd like to get her something she can keep. I got a few tea cups and repainted them for Christmas, she seemed to like that.

[ this is so difficult. ]

[winn]

[ he nods ]

Something that Kitty and I did was exchange lockets, so wherever we end up in the multiverse - [ he pulls out the little box locket that hangs around his neck always from under his shirt, and opens it to reveal kitty's picture ] we'll have each other.

[ there are other kidnappy worlds out there. ending up in another one completely separated from everyone they love is a depressing thought - but unfortunately it's also a realistic one. ]

Just, give her something from the heart, that's what'll make it special.

[uprightness]

That's beautiful.

[ he smiles at the locket. it reminds him of his compass, only without the tinge of pain that usually comes with it. ]

What's your plan for Valentine's?

[winn]

[ he smiles and closes it, tucking it back in. steve's the first person he's showed this to. ]

The specifics depend on where we'll be - if the planet's nice, then I'll take her somewhere there, but if it isn't, I'll deck the hell out of the lecture hall, make it into a dance floor - Kitty loves to dance.

[uprightness]

If you need a hand.

[ he lifts two of his. Just ask for it. ]

It sounds like a very solid plan.

[winn]

It'll be solid when I know where we are.

[ and that nothing life shuttering didn't happen on the day. but he's not jinxing it! ]

Thanks. And - right back atcha, but you know that.

[uprightness]

Once I know what I'm doing, I'll be sure to call.

[ Valentine's Day plotting, right? ]

[winn]

[ go team romance! ]

Our next stop might give us some ideas. They tend to be celebration-appropriate.

[ halloween planet was creepy, christmas had the frozen planet... ]

[uprightness]

I hope they won't be too much of that.

[ he can only imagine how that one might go. If Peggy thought Christmas has the potential to be gaudy. This entire Valentine's Day matter will have to be subtle. ]

Haven't heard from the Atroma in a while and honestly, I hope it'd stay that way.

[winn]

We may not have heard words, but they're always present.

[ the planets, the comas, the appearances and disappearances, the attack...he hears the atroma loud and clear through them. ]

[uprightness]

Sometimes I don't know what to think about them. I used to think they're cowards.

[ powerful beings that hide in the shadows, who won't show their faces or say anything remotely close to the truth. ]

Now, I think they might be weaker than they'd like us to know.

[winn]

Maybe it's both, maybe it's neither.

[ his frustration is strong, and easy to spot. ]

I've been here for close to a year and we've yet to learn anything substantial about them. We don't know how many of them there are, if they're human, if they have powers, tech, or both, if they're on the marsiva, if there even is a marsiva or all of this is a virtual reality...

[uprightness]

Slow down -

[ he smiles, places a hand on his arm. he lost him at tech powers and virtual reality bit. he knows frustration when he sees it, mainly since Winn seems to behave much like him when he's anxious. ]

We'll figure it out. I'm sure that in time between all of us, we can do it. Some of the smartest people I know live around here.

[ he gives him a look, you're one of them is implied but not said. ]

We'll get to the bottom of it.

[winn]

But their minds are messed with. [ he doesn't feel like one of the smartest people in any group right now. ]

Maybe we're looking at this the wrong way. If our brains are capped and powers can be controlled, maybe what we need is a low tech solution - figure out what's so basic that they can't temper with, and go from there.

[uprightness]

I don't feel any difference but maybe I'm less of a threat.

[ steve is a soldier. these technical matters and the powers of the atroma are beyond him. peaceful as he's been here, he's not surprised if the atroma do not suspect him too heavily. he'll never admit to the conflict. the atroma are vicious and this game of them have to be put to an end, so much is clear.

what's less clear is how much he has to lose if they return him home after they've been defeated. ]

But I gotta say, if this is what your like with a - capped mind, I wouldn't wanna mess with you at your home.

[winn]

[ it's hilarious, to think that he's more of a threat than captain america. even now, when he's training daily (cardio, muscles, self defense, yoga) his frame seems puny in comparison. what he must have looked like when they first met - they don't even look like they belong to the same species.

he smiles, at steve's comment. he doesn't feel dangerous, not after almost a year of failing to learn anything about their captors. but the sentiment is still appreciated. ]

Don't worry, I don't use my superpowers for evil.

[uprightness]

I never had a doubt about that.

[ he stresses that out if only because he knows how difficult it had been for him as of late. not a perfect soldier, but a good man, he had promised dr. erskine and he's not sure how it all fell apart. ]

Not a doubt.


[ steve rogers doubts itself but he'll never hurry to doubt his team. ]

[winn]

[ a few months ago, winn still would have made that joke but there would be an edge to it, a concern. he used to be so afraid of ending up like his father, of waking one day, just crazy.

but his friends, friends like steve, have helped him mostly put that fear behind him. he smiles appreciatively at the reassurance. ]

Hey, I could be wrong but...my superbrain is interpreting your current demeanor as that of someone who could use a little unloading.

[uprightness]

[ he laughs and shakes his head. he's not wrong but the term 'superbrain' is accurate. his instincts are top notch. ]

Things haven't been simple at home.

[ that might be an understatement but at the same time, it's accurately true. ]

It's getting better here.

[ as much as it can without tony. ]

[winn]

[ superbrain was meant as a joke, so he takes that laughter as a victory.

he puts a gentle hand on steve's arm. home is a confusing mess for him, all he knows about it are less than half stories, from one point of view which, while he admires, he knows doesn't belong to the most perceptive of people.

he has no idea what's going on, but he knows how painful consolidating two lives can be, especially when one of them you only hear about. ]

You wanna talk about it?

[uprightness]

I guess it isn't simple.

[ to explain. there are so many private lives involved here - tony, bucky, peggy, all of the losses that steve had to come to terms with on one night of memories and in a way, all the losses he is still trying to process, even now. ]

Feeling responsible to things happening both at home and here. We can only really do anything about one set but -

[ he smiles a bit, mirthless and silent. ]

Doesn't change how it all feels.

[winn]

No it doesn't.

[ winn nods, that much he can definitely relate to. when kara tells him about the life he's yet to lead back home, it feels like it's happening without him, like he's helpless to change it - he has no free will, he can't influence it because he's stuck in this bubble and does that mean all the personal growth he's worked so hard to achieve here is just...gone? that's maddening. it's also brain breaking when he tries to understand how going back will work. the only way he can consolidate the two worlds is if he hypothesizes that the atroma are uploading fake memories into their heads, that they can so long in between uploads because they have to work out the story in a way that would make sense. maybe kara was updated because they gained access to mon-el's wealth of information. (or maybe, and this is creepier and definitely not a thought he wants to dwell on but there's nothing he can do about it passing through his mind, mon-el is a manufactured product of the atroma as well.)

either way, thinking of what's going on back home while he's here goofing around half the time feels horrible, and nothing seems to be able to change that. ]

The first time Kara got new memories from home she told me I do something pretty messed up. It's a pretty helpless feeling, knowing that it's coming and that unless I get back to my point in time with fleet memories there's nothing I can do to change it, like I'm a character in a story and I have no real influence over my life. Of course, if I change it, we come into splitting timelines and a whole slough of problems, and I'm digressing now I just mean...I get it. It sucks.

[uprightness]

Splitting timelines?

[ he frowns, trying to put the pieces of what it could all mean. ]

You mean, you change something and the rest will change too?

[ it makes sense, one thing leads to another - a sequence of cause and effect. a change might interfere that very sequence. not a responsibility any of them can take, tempting as the very idea might be. The change will affect everyone, after all and Steve's main error leading to the downfall between him and Tony was exactly this, deciding for someone else. ]

[winn]

Basically, yeah. Like, I've lived my life up to point A. Kara's lived hers up to point B. If I go back to point A with fleet memories and Kitty and whoever else wants to come with us, Kara's point B will cease to exist, at least on my timeline, we'll create an alternate point B where I'm a different person and there's another hero in town.

[ and he can't imagine that being bad ever, but kate's warning still rings in his ears. messing with the timeline is dangerous, and his future is always going to be someone else's past. ]

[uprightness]

That doesn't sound so bad.

[ there is a sense of responsibility, of course. changing both the past and the future to receive a measure of peace in return but steve's circumstances make him more partial to understanding winn. wouldn't he have done the same for the future he lost with Peggy? ]