Video. the ramblings of a drunk british man.

[edwinjarvis]

Who: Jarvis and you, valentine. ;)
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Tourist/Iskaulit, wherever you catch him
When: Valentine's Day of course!!!

[Jarvis here, ready to be — drunk? Perhaps just a little. He is actually doing a PSA whether he realizes it or not, looking disapprovingly at his wine glass. He's rosy-cheeked and his tie is the slightest bit crooked. Just the slightest. And he is currently abandoning his coat because it is clearly getting hot in the Tourist kitchen.]

Oh, myyyyy goodnessgracious, I think — I... Yes, the wrong bottle, this is... the wrong bottle. It's just a little purple...er than the other I was supposed to take from the shelf. I should have known better; I can't read —

[He looks intently at the liquor bottle, marked in alien writing that their augments certainly can't translate.]

I can't read this, period. I think I accidentally drank one of the more potent... bottles...

[... hiccup]

... Not the whole bottle, mind you, I'm not a barbarian.

Clearly two glasses is downright diabolical. I apologize, Miss Nami, I believe this is one of the newer imports. I will have to credit it out in take — ...take it out in credits. Goodness, it's warm in here. I'm going to go to the Iskaulit, since I fancy it cooler there... Cookies!! [Yes, that's as sudden as it seems, and he claps his hands together.] I'll make some cookies, because it is Valentine's Day, and cookies have to be made, and I haven't the supplies nor the mind-power for chocolate... anything, really. And I certainly have nothing to do on Valentine's Day, no sir — or ma'am. I am quite freed up by... by the light-years-away... -ness, of my predicament. Very much free to bake indeed. I don't mind at all. I — it's very... un-routine of me, to have no one to bake for on this particular date.

[He huffs.]

If you don't have a valentine, please stop by the Space Bar kitchen, I will have cookies so you can at least eat cookies. It's completely unnecessary to have a single valentine — it doesn't need to be a... lady or fellow you fancy, either. I'll have you know I made my classmates biscuits every year, save for — goodness, that time in... 1925...? When I came down with the flu. What a terrible February that was. I thought I'd gone — bubonic.

..... I'm talking quite a lot.

If you'll excuse me, I need my apron. Where did I put my...

[...... He's wandered off.]

Comments

[outstandingbalance]

[Aw, sweetie. Well, she won't tell him it's not impressive. Even if she's not impressed.]

Well, if you want to practice sometime, get even better... you can call me. I might be able to show you a thing or two.

[edwinjarvis]

[He brightens a bit.]

That would be excellent, Miss Romanoff. A good spar, a chance to check up on you from time to time — I would be most prepared for you. [His smile grows a bit self-conscious.] Well, actually, if you are as good as Miss Carter at throwing a right hook, I will certainly not be prepared at all.

Did you know she punched me in the face within the first thirty seconds of us meeting?

It was a very eye-opening experience with regards to her personality.

[outstandingbalance]

Now I feel better about the first time I met her.

[Joking. Mostly. Probably. Though at that point, Peggy wasn't likely to pick a fight with Natasha.]

But I believe that of her. She's a very strong woman. Though she and I haven't fought, so I can't really say who'd win.

[Both of them seemed to assume Natasha would, though.]

We have very different styles.

[edwinjarvis]

The woman is a bull in a china shop.

... Which is exactly what is required, in a lot of circumstances.

[A nod.]

Though I will be the smart man and not wager between two wonderful ladies like yourselves. I prefer you both working together.

[outstandingbalance]

It's part of her charm. And to be fair, she's a very refined bull.

[But he's not even wrong.]

I'm glad she's on our side.

[edwinjarvis]

[Conversationally, casually, humorously:]

Extremely refined, the most refined bull I've ever seen.

[But he does have a genuine warmth to his smile afterword.]

I'm sure she's glad you're on hers as well. Especially if she isn't sure who would win in a fight; it must mean you're a worthy opponent indeed.

[outstandingbalance]

You'll have to tell me what you think after you get a chance to see me in action. I'd be interested in hearing your assessment.

[It would be interesting to have a reaction from someone who didn't know her reputation.]

[edwinjarvis]

Oh, well, clearly I'm the perfect choice for peer evaluations.

[He says it without any seriousness whatsoever.

He knows his abilities really aren't very grand, compared to an agent.]

You can assess my cooking in return. I will expect the occasion visit so I can properly feed one of Miss Carter and Mr. Roger's dear friends, you see.

[outstandingbalance]

You know, you don't have to do that. It kind of sounds like you're trying to spoil me. We just met.

[edwinjarvis]

It's not spoiling someone to treat them as a friend, Miss Romanoff.

[He smiles fondly.]

You simply must come visit the Tourist at dinnertime. I do need a taste tester.

[outstandingbalance]

It seems a little like spoiling to me.

[Seems a lot like spoiling, actually.]

But that's not a no.

[edwinjarvis]

Excellent. Please feel free to let me know if you ever need a plate. I usually have crewmates who run off on their own adventures at dinnertime, regardless.

[He rolls his eyes at this.]

Busybodies.

[................... Jarvis.................]

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha laughs at that. She can't help it. The idea that he worked with Peggy but would call other people busybodies strikes her as hilarious.]

Sounds like you need someone to come over and help you finish off dinner. Not waste all that food.

[A pause, then.]

Do you really cook that often?

[edwinjarvis]

... I guess I do, yes.

My wife cooks sometimes as well, but she usually humors me and lets me do a lot of the kitchenwork.

[Ana is patient and kind, she knows he's a tall doofus in an apron 70% of the time that just wants to hen around.]

[outstandingbalance]

I'm not sure if I'd call that humoring you. That also sounds a little like letting you spoil her.

[edwinjarvis]

Oh, my wife is more than welcome to be spoiled.

[He says so very proudly and happily.]

I will continue to do so until our dying day.

[or to translate into current-time-speak: dude I just love her so much you know what I'm sayin]

[outstandingbalance]

[He is precious. Just precious.]

I'm sensing a trend here, you know. Peggy was right about you being a nurturer.

[edwinjarvis]

[.............. Oh, you're going to make him so self-conscious.

He smiles a little, humored despite it.]

It's nice to take care of others is all, really. Especially those you particularly value.

[outstandingbalance]

[She doesn't push it or compliment more, willing to let it go.]

That sort of thing comes more naturally to some people than others.

[That's enough for that.]

Thank you. For the cookies.

[edwinjarvis]

Oh — it's not a problem, Miss Romanoff.

If there's anything at all you need, please feel free to call for me.

[A friend of Peggy is a job for Jarvis.

He raises his eyebrows and shrugs.]

... Even if it's just a plate of cookies.