Video. the ramblings of a drunk british man.

[edwinjarvis]

Who: Jarvis and you, valentine. ;)
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Tourist/Iskaulit, wherever you catch him
When: Valentine's Day of course!!!

[Jarvis here, ready to be — drunk? Perhaps just a little. He is actually doing a PSA whether he realizes it or not, looking disapprovingly at his wine glass. He's rosy-cheeked and his tie is the slightest bit crooked. Just the slightest. And he is currently abandoning his coat because it is clearly getting hot in the Tourist kitchen.]

Oh, myyyyy goodnessgracious, I think — I... Yes, the wrong bottle, this is... the wrong bottle. It's just a little purple...er than the other I was supposed to take from the shelf. I should have known better; I can't read —

[He looks intently at the liquor bottle, marked in alien writing that their augments certainly can't translate.]

I can't read this, period. I think I accidentally drank one of the more potent... bottles...

[... hiccup]

... Not the whole bottle, mind you, I'm not a barbarian.

Clearly two glasses is downright diabolical. I apologize, Miss Nami, I believe this is one of the newer imports. I will have to credit it out in take — ...take it out in credits. Goodness, it's warm in here. I'm going to go to the Iskaulit, since I fancy it cooler there... Cookies!! [Yes, that's as sudden as it seems, and he claps his hands together.] I'll make some cookies, because it is Valentine's Day, and cookies have to be made, and I haven't the supplies nor the mind-power for chocolate... anything, really. And I certainly have nothing to do on Valentine's Day, no sir — or ma'am. I am quite freed up by... by the light-years-away... -ness, of my predicament. Very much free to bake indeed. I don't mind at all. I — it's very... un-routine of me, to have no one to bake for on this particular date.

[He huffs.]

If you don't have a valentine, please stop by the Space Bar kitchen, I will have cookies so you can at least eat cookies. It's completely unnecessary to have a single valentine — it doesn't need to be a... lady or fellow you fancy, either. I'll have you know I made my classmates biscuits every year, save for — goodness, that time in... 1925...? When I came down with the flu. What a terrible February that was. I thought I'd gone — bubonic.

..... I'm talking quite a lot.

If you'll excuse me, I need my apron. Where did I put my...

[...... He's wandered off.]

Comments

Tourist

[takingkarabusiness]

[ Kara pops her head into the kitchen. Somehow they've kept missing each other but it is to be rectified now! ]

I heard someone say cookies!

[edwinjarvis]

Miss Kara, it's so lovely to see you — not horizontal! You're quite vertical and awake, and that is a cause for celebrating. [He looks genuinely happy to see you, too. Totally friends now, hello. He pushes the bottle with the alien writing aside.] Cookies are far better a choice; please do mind the liquor, it is far too — liquory.

What sort of cookies do you like? I can make plenty!

[He's not usually this heel-tappingly content, but well. Drinking.]

private voice »

[mucked]

[ currently, peggy is sitting mid-mountain -- somewhere down on the planet's ring. she's got her comms device settled in her lap and her legs tucked over the edge of a rocky bluff. a picturesque bit of lake stretches out before her. but the broadcast catches none of it. studiously, she's avoided sharing her little piece of carved out paradise.

instead, she communicates by voice alone. ]

Mister Jarvis. [ hmm. ] Are you quite alright? You sound more than a little...wobbly.

private voice »

[edwinjarvis]

I'm drunk, Miss Carter!

[Spoken with quite the pep.]

Which is terrible, because I'm a dreadfully dreadful drunk.

video

[touchallthebooks]

We don't really have this kind of holiday on Azeroth. [Pause and, more importantly:] Are you... going to be alright?

video

[edwinjarvis]

Of course I'm going to be alright! Why wouldn't I be? I'm quite content!

[and blushing like a dope]

You don't have any sort of holiday for loved ones as a whole?

A - love day?

[ video ]

[shamisens]

[ Is. Is he dying. Kubo squints at the screen, perplexed. ]

Are you . . . all right?

[ video ]

[edwinjarvis]

Young sir Kubo, I am always alright!! Why wouldn't I be?

Tourist

[helladoomed]

[Chloe was one her way off the ship, bag over her shoulder, when she found Jarvis...well. She stopped to watch, clearly amused, and waited until he looked her way before grinning.]

You alright there man?

[edwinjarvis]

[He gives her the most pleasant dopey smile.]

Absolutely extraordinary today, Miss Price!

Are you going out to the, the — [He makes loopy loops with his finger.] — the odd ring planet? It sounds lovely.

Video

[bryces_pup]

[Ah yes. Drunken posts on the network. To this man's credit, he is handling his than Riona did hers. Much, much better.

While the mention of cookies piques her interest, something else has her more curious.]

What is this Valentine's Day I keep hearing mentioned? And why does it involve baking?

Video

[edwinjarvis]

It's a lovely wonderful special day where one offers those they deeply love written cards and chocolate and cute little teddies. [He beams proudly, thumbs in his pockets as he sways on his feet. He's rather relaxed today compared to the more strict demeanor he carries.] It doesn't have to be your significant other, but usually couples take some time to be romantic.

Baking little heart cookies seems only right, in my book.

[namisan]

I see I'm going to have to update my labelling to something more blatant.

[Please look forward to JARVIS NO and DO NOT DRINK UNLESS YOU CAN OUTDRINK GIANTS signs going up in the near future. When she's got the energy.]

[edwinjarvis]

[And the equivalent of Jarvis whipping his shirt off and spinning it in circles over his head drunkenly is this:]

Miss Nami!

You've caught me red-handed. I shall have to give you a valentine to make it up to you! You surely love cookies, don't you? Everyone looks cookies.

Iskaulit

[exothermia]

[The video was... concerning, to Erik's mind. Not so much the discussion of Valentine's Day, which was something he had never celebrated even with Magda. No, it was the idea of this man trying to bake while drunk. That's what prompts him to show up, with morbid curiosity. The year '1925' also rung close to home.

He walks into the bar and drifts over to where Jarvis is working.]

Is this really the best use of your time?

[edwinjarvis]

[Jarvis has had a few glasses of water (per Peggy's executive order which shan't be ignored), but it's still not exactly easy to hide his rosy demeanor. Not that he feels the need to. It's a nice day to be tipsy and making sweets, as far as he's concerned. Perhaps we all need to just loosen up on such a day; hell, he's in space. He's a bona fide spaceman. That calls for tie-loosening.

He looks up to the fellow with a little smile; there's already a plate of cookies sitting on the counter. Heart-shaped.]

Absolutely, it is. Someone has to be the cookie-maker.

video »

[uprightness]

[ have you been looking for him, Mr. Jarvis? ]

Maybe you should go for a strong coffee next.

[ he has a feeling he might be needing it. ]

video »

[edwinjarvis]

Mr. Rogers!

[COFFEE, BAH, I AM SELF-POWERED.]

It's wonderful to see you on such a day.

I hope Miss Carter is treating you well, out in the woods.

video.

[briste]

Mr. Jarvis? [ this whole broadcast is a little concerning. maybe you shouldn't drink from bottles you can't read anymore, hm? ]

Mr. Jarvis, are you alright? Are you sure that you should be baking right now? That doesn't seem like the best idea in your current state.

video. 1/2

[edwinjarvis]

I'm quite alright. And I promise you, I've done some of my best cooking off a bottle of fine wine.

[....]

Though I do plan to... drink a little water before handling fire...

video.

[edwinjarvis]

[ANYWAYZ]

Have you any plans for the holiday?

video

[outstandingbalance]

[That was all quite a display. Natasha has to wonder where he got the liquor. Maybe she should surprise Steve with a bottle.]

Just what kind of cookies are you going to make? Something you have the mind power for, obviously.

Re: video

[edwinjarvis]

[HE WOULD ENJOY STEVE BEING ALLOWED DRUNKENNESS.

But anyway. Hello there! He's very eager for new company.]

Oh, I'm very weak to chocolate chip, personally. I haven't admitted it to my wife, but I'm sure she knows why those batches end up so much smaller by the time she arrives home.

video;

[ahappylie]

Jarvis-san, are you alright?

[Because every time he's seen this guy on the network, things have been a little wonky with him. Now he's drunk on the network and talking about cookies and valentines and more things that don't make sense. Which, honestly, he's used to at this point since *~the future~* and all, but he's seen people get this loopy drunk before and usually they end up with a mess in the alleyway later.]

Perhaps you should have some water before the apron?

Re: video;

[edwinjarvis]

I've never been more alright, Mr. Soujirou!

[He says, fiddling with an apron.]

And I would not underestimate my post-intoxication baking. I'm very good at it.

[BEAAAAAMING]

video.

[vagabond_code]

Can you do them spider-shaped?

video.

[edwinjarvis]

....

Why on earth would you want Valentine's Day cookies spider-shaped?

...

Why spiders at all? Spiders are horrible little creatures.