Video. the ramblings of a drunk british man.

[edwinjarvis]

Who: Jarvis and you, valentine. ;)
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Tourist/Iskaulit, wherever you catch him
When: Valentine's Day of course!!!

[Jarvis here, ready to be — drunk? Perhaps just a little. He is actually doing a PSA whether he realizes it or not, looking disapprovingly at his wine glass. He's rosy-cheeked and his tie is the slightest bit crooked. Just the slightest. And he is currently abandoning his coat because it is clearly getting hot in the Tourist kitchen.]

Oh, myyyyy goodnessgracious, I think — I... Yes, the wrong bottle, this is... the wrong bottle. It's just a little purple...er than the other I was supposed to take from the shelf. I should have known better; I can't read —

[He looks intently at the liquor bottle, marked in alien writing that their augments certainly can't translate.]

I can't read this, period. I think I accidentally drank one of the more potent... bottles...

[... hiccup]

... Not the whole bottle, mind you, I'm not a barbarian.

Clearly two glasses is downright diabolical. I apologize, Miss Nami, I believe this is one of the newer imports. I will have to credit it out in take — ...take it out in credits. Goodness, it's warm in here. I'm going to go to the Iskaulit, since I fancy it cooler there... Cookies!! [Yes, that's as sudden as it seems, and he claps his hands together.] I'll make some cookies, because it is Valentine's Day, and cookies have to be made, and I haven't the supplies nor the mind-power for chocolate... anything, really. And I certainly have nothing to do on Valentine's Day, no sir — or ma'am. I am quite freed up by... by the light-years-away... -ness, of my predicament. Very much free to bake indeed. I don't mind at all. I — it's very... un-routine of me, to have no one to bake for on this particular date.

[He huffs.]

If you don't have a valentine, please stop by the Space Bar kitchen, I will have cookies so you can at least eat cookies. It's completely unnecessary to have a single valentine — it doesn't need to be a... lady or fellow you fancy, either. I'll have you know I made my classmates biscuits every year, save for — goodness, that time in... 1925...? When I came down with the flu. What a terrible February that was. I thought I'd gone — bubonic.

..... I'm talking quite a lot.

If you'll excuse me, I need my apron. Where did I put my...

[...... He's wandered off.]

Comments

[edwinjarvis]

[He chuckles.]

I'm glad for it, too, once the time is being taken; Ana is an angel of mercy even when I don't realize it. I... suppose I'm a bit of a busybody. Is it the same for you?

[outstandingbalance]

You could say that. I don't remember the last time I had a vacation.

[She tips her head as though conceding to an argument that hasn't been voiced.]

Before getting dragged out here, that way.

[edwinjarvis]

Then I say you should seize the moment.

This is a lovely time for vacationing among the stars, isn't it?

[He beams, a bit glowy with his current buzz.]

I suppose there's no Italy, but we'll do with what we find. What sort of shops do you like? If I see one you'd appreciate I simply must tell you.

[outstandingbalance]

[If he didn't seem so genuine in his reaction, so pleased by the idea himself, she might be put off by the treatment. It would be impossible to miss the honesty in his response though, especially in his current state.]

Well, I do like a sharp pair of boots. [She answers that wryly.]

[edwinjarvis]

[A nod, firm and content.]

I could do with some new clothes myself. I've only one suit in the whole of the fleet, and I must say, wearing the same tie everyday is very unflattering. And imagine how worn this poor suit will be, being washed so often.

[IT'S A NIGHTMARE.

I NEED MORE TIES.]

[outstandingbalance]

You always wear the suit and tie, huh? Very dapper of you.

[And dated, but she doesn't push too much. And she doesn't throw too many references that would be after his time.

She does that with Steve and Peggy, but they've been here longer. Steve in particular has no excuse.]

Have you considered modernizing your wardrobe a little?

[edwinjarvis]

[He looks down at his outfit, adjusting his tie.]

Modernizing...? Miss Romanoff, I don't think a butler should be particularly fashionable, more than professional. [Why yes, he still takes his job very seriously, even with no mansion to attend to.] I would look a bit silly, I think.

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha takes another cookie, raising a pointed eyebrow.]

You're not on the clock now, are you? You don't necessarily have to be fashionable, either. But comfortable?

And sharp.

[edwinjarvis]

[He hesitates visibly.

Not on the clock...?]

I'm — always on the clock.

[Even while intoxicated, it seems. Which is a rarity, he swears.]

[outstandingbalance]

I hate to tell you this Mr. Jarvis, but if that's the case, you are drunk on the job.

[edwinjarvis]

... You're very right, Miss Romanoff.

[He deflates just slightly, clearly disappointed in himself now.]

That blasted alien liquor. I do not recommend it. Unfortunately, the drinks here are... less than ideal, for myself. Not quite so easy to find a decent bottle of wine.

[outstandingbalance]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Accidents happen.

[She smiles encouragingly.]

I'll cover for you if anyone asks. How's that sound? I mean, I can't bake but I can make a pretty good excuse.

[edwinjarvis]

I appreciate the offer. But I must own my mistakes.

[He says as he takes a hardy drink of water.]

Besides, you've probably plenty on your plate. No need to cover for the likes of me.

You work in the same field as Mr. Rogers, right?

[outstandingbalance]

[She smiles slightly, shrugging one shoulder at the question.]

That depends what you consider the same field. I'm not in the field of being a super soldier. I'm in intelligence. But we work together.

[Super spy?]

Pretty well, most of the time.

[edwinjarvis]

Oh, of course! So then like the SSR?

[He is quite familiar with them. They totally threatened to deport him once.]

[outstandingbalance]

Something like that. SHIELD, it was called. Then when that fell apart, we were both still Avengers.

Long story.

[edwinjarvis]

So it seems. I'm glad to know everyone is still persevering, though.

I only wish I could keep up. [He smiles.] I've been training quite a bit back home -- boxing and Judo, hand-to-hand quarreling, you know. It's seemed important to be trained in, as of late.

[outstandingbalance]

Oh, that does not change. [She indulges him with a smile.] I wouldn't mind seeing what you can do, though. Call it professional curiosity.

[edwinjarvis]

[He blinks, mildly surprised.]

Me?

Well.

Miss Carter has a habit of throwing me on my back, but. I think I've been improving considerably since our initial adventures in New York. See here —! [He holds out his arm innocently, and with some enthusiasm.] I've gotten quite a good bicep muscle.

[He worked hard to have a good bicep, okay.]

[outstandingbalance]

[Aw, sweetie. Well, she won't tell him it's not impressive. Even if she's not impressed.]

Well, if you want to practice sometime, get even better... you can call me. I might be able to show you a thing or two.

[edwinjarvis]

[He brightens a bit.]

That would be excellent, Miss Romanoff. A good spar, a chance to check up on you from time to time — I would be most prepared for you. [His smile grows a bit self-conscious.] Well, actually, if you are as good as Miss Carter at throwing a right hook, I will certainly not be prepared at all.

Did you know she punched me in the face within the first thirty seconds of us meeting?

It was a very eye-opening experience with regards to her personality.

[outstandingbalance]

Now I feel better about the first time I met her.

[Joking. Mostly. Probably. Though at that point, Peggy wasn't likely to pick a fight with Natasha.]

But I believe that of her. She's a very strong woman. Though she and I haven't fought, so I can't really say who'd win.

[Both of them seemed to assume Natasha would, though.]

We have very different styles.

[edwinjarvis]

The woman is a bull in a china shop.

... Which is exactly what is required, in a lot of circumstances.

[A nod.]

Though I will be the smart man and not wager between two wonderful ladies like yourselves. I prefer you both working together.

[outstandingbalance]

It's part of her charm. And to be fair, she's a very refined bull.

[But he's not even wrong.]

I'm glad she's on our side.

[edwinjarvis]

[Conversationally, casually, humorously:]

Extremely refined, the most refined bull I've ever seen.

[But he does have a genuine warmth to his smile afterword.]

I'm sure she's glad you're on hers as well. Especially if she isn't sure who would win in a fight; it must mean you're a worthy opponent indeed.