driftfleet | 06

Who: Winn Schott and you
Broadcast: Video
Action: Tourist
When: Friday

[ there's something off about winn when the feed turns on. something different from all his other broadcasts. it may take a second to spot it but once you realize what it is it becomes glaringly obvious: there's not a hint of happiness anywhere on his face. his eyes, his lips, his nose, it looks like every last bit of joy has been drained from his features, so even when his lips do stretch lightly upwards, despite his dry eyes it feels more like watching him sob than seeing him smile. ]

Margaery's gone home. [ he has no way of knowing that. she could have been kidnapped to another world, one where she would have no protective big brother to introduce her to superheroes and feminism, to embroider with her and teach her science. but he chooses to hang onto that thought, to believe that she's gone back to the family he knows she so desperately missed despite never letting her pain show. he clears his throat. ] If any of her friends wanna come by for a toast and some stories, I'll be on the Tourist all day.

[ he has been on the tourist since he realized she disappeared, curled up in his bed, shut down. this is the most he's said since, and it feels almost like an outer body experience. he clears his throat again, and nods at the camera before killing the feed. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[ You might take after him, but you aren't him, and you don't have the same responsibilities. So don't be like him, because let's face it, Kirk's way of dealing with things is not what anyone would call healthy most of the time. ]}

We can't stop living our lives, even when it feels like a part of it is gone.

_{[ He rubbed his back gently. ]}

We're not really living our lives here, though.

[ it's hard to stay positive when it feels like he has no real free will, no control over anything that matters, no way to protect the people he loves. he tries, he really tries to stay optimistic and usually it works. but today, it's just too much to ask. ]

Yes, we are. It might be how we expected it, but we got brought here, and for the moment this is our reality, this is our life. We're working to change it, but in this moment, that's how it is.

And we can't stop moving. Even if moving forward is just one small centimeter at a time.

_{[ He knows. He has his days, where it all just looks bleak and hopeless. But he knows he can't be like that. Not when people needed him to be hopeful. Or, maybe they didn't, and he just told himself they did. Either way, he held it together. He couldn't fall apart again. ]}

Or taking another bite.

I'm not sure we ever started.

[ it feels like they're stuck in place. there are no new leads, nothing. instead, there are new loses, new scars, new near death experiences. he's just playing into the atroma's hands, it feels like, giving them their roller coaster drama and it's an infuriating realization to come to.

he takes another bite, though, to spare jim the frustration of having to repeat himself. there's his progress. ]

_{[ He didn't quite sigh, but there's a sag of his shoulders. He didn't want to judge Winn to harshly. This was a hard time for him, and he knew how close he had been to Maegery, practically siblings. Still, this just felt like so many other conversations they had, and the circle was becoming weightier than he liked. ]}

Just finish your meal. It's a start.

[ and here he was trying to spare him frustration. guess he really isn't moving anywhere. ]

Yes sir. [ he eats, because that's something he can actually do. how depressing is that? is that what he's aiming for now, functioning like a human being is his grand achievement? ]

_{[ Sometimes that's the hardest part. Kirk patted his back in a show of solidarity. ]}

Finish up, then we can have a drink.

_{[ But not drunk. You drunk right now seems like a bad idea. ]}

[ he's had drinks, it won't take much to get him drunk. ]

That the other nice thing you got?

_{[ He wasn't going to let you get drunk, just give you a nice buzz. Last thing they needed was you getting alcohol poisoning or something. ]}

Don't say I never do anything nice for you.

When have I ever said anything close.

[ heck, sometimes, in his deep dark moments of self loathing, he even thinks jim is too nice to him. ]

_{[ Kirk just ruffled his hair in return, making no further comment.
There wasn't much else he could say here without exhausting himself and
Winn, running in circles - though maybe Winn could use the exhaustion.
]}

[ it's their thing. winn finishes his food in silence, always following his captain's lead. ]

_{[ He watches him eat for a bit, reaching out to rub his back again. ]}

You should get some rest. No offense, but the exhaustion is showing. And I know your brain has probably been working overtime like it does.

[ where normally he would joke about being promised alcohol if he finished his food, this time he just nods. curling up in bed is all he feels like doing anyway so if jim says he should do it maybe it's just the right choice. ]

Aye aye.

06 - video

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