Edwin Jarvis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
edwinjarvis) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2017-03-12 08:30 pm
edwinjarvis) wrote in driftfleet2017-03-12 08:30 pm
video. sponsor drop... FLAMINGOS EVERYWHERE GOD SAVE THE QUEEN
Who: Jarvis and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist
When: Today!
[Jarvis had just been returning to the SS Tourist after a day of working in the water and at the bar on the Iskaulit — it's clearly the Atroma's doing, some sort of surprise for the butler that must've been quite desired... clearly... He stumbles a bit in the dark, confused, because when is the cargo bay ever dark?]
.... Miss Price?
[He flicks on the main lighting system at last after a mild curse hitting his knee, and he's horrified by what he sees, as Hotel California plays muffled over the speakers. Not played by anyone on board, of course. But that's not the worst of it... No, the worst of it is that he finds himself... surrounded. By plastic...pink... flamingos.]
Oh... dear god.
...
[He plucks up a note.]
"To Edwin Jarvis, to help with the homesickness, a kind sponsor has decided to offer an army of your favorite Earth creature..."
[He looks to the left. Flamingos. To the right. Flamingos. There's some sitting in the shuttle seats. There's one wearing one of his ties.
Jarvis wipes a hand across his forehead, looking to the floor in his shock.]
... This is the worst day of my life.
[One of the flamingos tips over and clatters.
DISCONNECTED.
....
no, no, this is not over!!!
RECONNECTED.]
What in the bloody underworld am I supposed to do with dozens upon dozens of these?!
[hands on HIPS!!!! LECTURING THE ATROMA!!!!]
This is a sour waste of resources!! I would like a recall! Nobody wants your army of — of — hellbirds!
[... Outside of the SS Tourist, they've also peppered the ocean floor around the ship with flamingos, too.]
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist
When: Today!
[Jarvis had just been returning to the SS Tourist after a day of working in the water and at the bar on the Iskaulit — it's clearly the Atroma's doing, some sort of surprise for the butler that must've been quite desired... clearly... He stumbles a bit in the dark, confused, because when is the cargo bay ever dark?]
Hello? Captain??
.... Miss Price?
[He flicks on the main lighting system at last after a mild curse hitting his knee, and he's horrified by what he sees, as Hotel California plays muffled over the speakers. Not played by anyone on board, of course. But that's not the worst of it... No, the worst of it is that he finds himself... surrounded. By plastic...pink... flamingos.]
Oh... dear god.
...
[He plucks up a note.]
"To Edwin Jarvis, to help with the homesickness, a kind sponsor has decided to offer an army of your favorite Earth creature..."
[He looks to the left. Flamingos. To the right. Flamingos. There's some sitting in the shuttle seats. There's one wearing one of his ties.
Jarvis wipes a hand across his forehead, looking to the floor in his shock.]
... This is the worst day of my life.
[One of the flamingos tips over and clatters.
DISCONNECTED.
....
no, no, this is not over!!!
RECONNECTED.]
What in the bloody underworld am I supposed to do with dozens upon dozens of these?!
[hands on HIPS!!!! LECTURING THE ATROMA!!!!]
This is a sour waste of resources!! I would like a recall! Nobody wants your army of — of — hellbirds!
[... Outside of the SS Tourist, they've also peppered the ocean floor around the ship with flamingos, too.]
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I don't know if a stiff upper lip can compete with the multitude of long-necked plastic beasts I'm currently facing. This is a true nightmare. The audacity of them! They're true villains, just as everyone thought!
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[ she at least does him the courtesy of not saying bernard's name. ]
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I'm utterly surrounded by the enemy!
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But likely a hefty charge in littering.
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Like tea!
Or shoe polish!
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[ really? even she has her limits. ]
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[As if that were ever worth questioning.
The aesthetic, Miss Carter!!]
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[ says the woman who doesn't step off the starstruck without lipstick. ]
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[INSERT TWILIGHT ZONE MUSIC IN BRACKETS]
Do I not get to look poised as well? It's a part of my occupation, I dare say!
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I will not let the confines of space change my tune, so to speak.
[sassy confident motherfucker here]
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[ if she's sarcastic, it's only with the fullest of affection. ]
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Well of course!
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If you would like, however, I can always help your write and balance your budget.
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Not that I mind gray. I think I would look quite regal.
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You suppose so? Perhaps I would look more the part for my job.
Wise beyond my years.
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[ sometimes, after all, a tease is well-meant. ]
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WELL DONE AGENT.]
... I don't suppose you want a flamingo.
For the... aesthetic.
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