Edwin Jarvis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
edwinjarvis) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2017-03-12 08:30 pm
edwinjarvis) wrote in driftfleet2017-03-12 08:30 pm
video. sponsor drop... FLAMINGOS EVERYWHERE GOD SAVE THE QUEEN
Who: Jarvis and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist
When: Today!
[Jarvis had just been returning to the SS Tourist after a day of working in the water and at the bar on the Iskaulit — it's clearly the Atroma's doing, some sort of surprise for the butler that must've been quite desired... clearly... He stumbles a bit in the dark, confused, because when is the cargo bay ever dark?]
.... Miss Price?
[He flicks on the main lighting system at last after a mild curse hitting his knee, and he's horrified by what he sees, as Hotel California plays muffled over the speakers. Not played by anyone on board, of course. But that's not the worst of it... No, the worst of it is that he finds himself... surrounded. By plastic...pink... flamingos.]
Oh... dear god.
...
[He plucks up a note.]
"To Edwin Jarvis, to help with the homesickness, a kind sponsor has decided to offer an army of your favorite Earth creature..."
[He looks to the left. Flamingos. To the right. Flamingos. There's some sitting in the shuttle seats. There's one wearing one of his ties.
Jarvis wipes a hand across his forehead, looking to the floor in his shock.]
... This is the worst day of my life.
[One of the flamingos tips over and clatters.
DISCONNECTED.
....
no, no, this is not over!!!
RECONNECTED.]
What in the bloody underworld am I supposed to do with dozens upon dozens of these?!
[hands on HIPS!!!! LECTURING THE ATROMA!!!!]
This is a sour waste of resources!! I would like a recall! Nobody wants your army of — of — hellbirds!
[... Outside of the SS Tourist, they've also peppered the ocean floor around the ship with flamingos, too.]
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist
When: Today!
[Jarvis had just been returning to the SS Tourist after a day of working in the water and at the bar on the Iskaulit — it's clearly the Atroma's doing, some sort of surprise for the butler that must've been quite desired... clearly... He stumbles a bit in the dark, confused, because when is the cargo bay ever dark?]
Hello? Captain??
.... Miss Price?
[He flicks on the main lighting system at last after a mild curse hitting his knee, and he's horrified by what he sees, as Hotel California plays muffled over the speakers. Not played by anyone on board, of course. But that's not the worst of it... No, the worst of it is that he finds himself... surrounded. By plastic...pink... flamingos.]
Oh... dear god.
...
[He plucks up a note.]
"To Edwin Jarvis, to help with the homesickness, a kind sponsor has decided to offer an army of your favorite Earth creature..."
[He looks to the left. Flamingos. To the right. Flamingos. There's some sitting in the shuttle seats. There's one wearing one of his ties.
Jarvis wipes a hand across his forehead, looking to the floor in his shock.]
... This is the worst day of my life.
[One of the flamingos tips over and clatters.
DISCONNECTED.
....
no, no, this is not over!!!
RECONNECTED.]
What in the bloody underworld am I supposed to do with dozens upon dozens of these?!
[hands on HIPS!!!! LECTURING THE ATROMA!!!!]
This is a sour waste of resources!! I would like a recall! Nobody wants your army of — of — hellbirds!
[... Outside of the SS Tourist, they've also peppered the ocean floor around the ship with flamingos, too.]
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And the flamingos breaking into pieces after a few rounds would be of great pleasure to me.
That sounds rather barbaric, but I can't deny my feelings.
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and save one for me. I'll put it over winn's head for when he wakes up.
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And so impolite to do to a comatose friend!
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Who might you be?
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engineer on the blameless
yo
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no I wasn't.
you just don't know what yo is
it's hey
hello
yo
sup
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What is 'sup' supposed to be? It reminds me of supper.
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I think??
maybe.
it's short for what's up
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He says 'What's up, Doc?'
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but you're not a rabbit
and you're not 8
and you're not in the middle of space jam
so.
what's up. just 'what's up'.
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Also I will be frank and say most pop culture references will go right over my head, because everyone is unfairly ahead of my time. I have absolutely no clue what a space jam is, but it sounds offensively unappetizing.
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just how behind are you?
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I hope I get to see it.
[spoilers he probably doesn't get to :C]
I'm from 1947! British-American in California, currently. I can't stand the weather, but I've a great desire to learn Mexican recipes.
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it won't be the same here but I can teach you.
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This may be the best news I've heard since I've arrived!!
I will happily exchange desserts for these recipes.
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it's a deal. I'm all about the sugar.
and it's cisco
seriously. mr.ramon always makes me think I'm in some kind of trouble which NOT UNLIKELY but still.
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I'm Edwin Jarvis — most simply refer to me by Jarvis. It is nice to make your acquaintance. I imagine you're routine about the Tourist; feel free to drop in during breakfast or dinner whenever you see fit. Company is always welcome.
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gotta say, if I ended up stuck in space on my own, I'd choose either my ship or the tourist. it has the best people on it even if one of them is currently playing the role of sleeping beauty.
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[You're creating a monster.]
It really seems to be a problem as of late.
Has anyone ever pinpointed the reason behind the sudden and lengthy narcoleptic episodes?
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that's basically it.
sometimes people wake up with new memories from home but not everyone.
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To be honest, I think their interior motivates are far more menacing and calculating than simply for televised entertainment. But I suppose it could be possible they just enjoy to bother us by putting people into a coma...
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if this is a tv show then someone in a coma equals worry and heartbreak and heartbreak equals ratings
and if not, they might be doing this to remind us they can.
fuckers.
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Sometimes people return to consciousnes with new memories. Downloaded into their augment.
It could be that we are... informational booklets, so to speak.
If not doing dirty work for them in some capacity.