driftfleet | video. sponsor drop... FLAMINGOS EVERYWHERE GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

Who: Jarvis and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist
When: Today!

[Jarvis had just been returning to the SS Tourist after a day of working in the water and at the bar on the Iskaulit — it's clearly the Atroma's doing, some sort of surprise for the butler that must've been quite desired... clearly... He stumbles a bit in the dark, confused, because when is the cargo bay ever dark?]

Hello? Captain??

Mr. Schott?

.... Miss Price?

[He flicks on the main lighting system at last after a mild curse hitting his knee, and he's horrified by what he sees, as Hotel California plays muffled over the speakers. Not played by anyone on board, of course. But that's not the worst of it... No, the worst of it is that he finds himself... surrounded. By plastic...pink... flamingos.]

Oh... dear god.

...

[He plucks up a note.]

"To Edwin Jarvis, to help with the homesickness, a kind sponsor has decided to offer an army of your favorite Earth creature..."

[He looks to the left. Flamingos. To the right. Flamingos. There's some sitting in the shuttle seats. There's one wearing one of his ties.

Jarvis wipes a hand across his forehead, looking to the floor in his shock.]

... This is the worst day of my life.

[One of the flamingos tips over and clatters.

DISCONNECTED.

....

no, no, this is not over!!!

RECONNECTED.]

What in the bloody underworld am I supposed to do with dozens upon dozens of these?!

[hands on HIPS!!!! LECTURING THE ATROMA!!!!]

This is a sour waste of resources!! I would like a recall! Nobody wants your army of — of — hellbirds!

[... Outside of the SS Tourist, they've also peppered the ocean floor around the ship with flamingos, too.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... I suppose the koalas were more... aggressive.

Have you ever heard their warning call? It's right out of a horror story.

[Another snort from Wanda. She's coming dangerous close now to losing it.]

The- the koalas? I see.

Are we talking about the warning call of the koalas? Or the flamingos?

The koalas! They sound horrifying! Like a hellish pig and a car engine roaring in unison when they're not shrieking like banshees.

[no but really]

[And that did it. She's lost it. Wanda doubles over from the laughter which is punctuated every now and then by a snort. This is just too much for her right now. You'll have to give her a minute or two Mr. Jarvis, so she can work this out of her system.]

Why, I don't see what's so funny, Miss Maximoff...

They're very ornery creatures.

[He flusters just a little YOU'RE LAUGHING AT HIM!!!!]

[Yes, yes she is. And his use of the word "ornery" is not making it any easier for her to get a hold of herself. Another snort and strong laughter echoes from her and threatens to bring her to her knees at this point.]

[Finally, the laughter begins to subside, and Wanda attempts to catch her breath. Her words are broken up as she takes breaths, a few errant giggles still squeak out here and there.]

You -- you must have -- have had -- such a hard time.

[Her concern is so genuine right now. I mean, she is currently in tears. It's just, you know... because of all the laughing.]

[....................... I'm being horribly teased, yes.

His ears are so red — how could you do this to me!!]

Miss Maximoff, please, pull yourself together. You'll choke on your own fit.

[Yes. Yes, you are. A few more errant giggles squeak out of Wanda here or there, but she mostly seems to have herself under control now. Her face is bright red, and her eyes still watery from all the laughter.]

I- I'm sorry. It was just- just the image of you being chased around by flamingos and koalas--

[She snorts. Keep it together, Wanda. Keep it together. She clears her throat.]

I am sure it was a very... strenuous job taking care of those animals.

... Koalas don't chase.

They drop out of trees.

[Clearly the most important thing to point out in all of that.]

[Jarvis, you are making this so hard for her right now. Again, she snorts, trying valiantly to hold back a whole new onslaught of giggles. Her face turning slightly red with the effort of suppressing her laughter.]

They- they drop out of trees...

I did not know that... Did you- did you have to wear a hard hat of some kind?

Unfortunately not. A terrible error on my part.

You should only hope the Atroma don't unleash a hoard of them aboard the ships.

I should hope? Or is you that should hope?

Both.

[Wanda snorts at that. She can tell the poor man is clearly not fond of the animals, but Wanda's having a hard time seeing them as all that threatening.]

Well, you will have to hope enough to pick up the slack for me then.

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