driftfleet | video. sponsor drop... FLAMINGOS EVERYWHERE GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

Who: Jarvis and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist
When: Today!

[Jarvis had just been returning to the SS Tourist after a day of working in the water and at the bar on the Iskaulit — it's clearly the Atroma's doing, some sort of surprise for the butler that must've been quite desired... clearly... He stumbles a bit in the dark, confused, because when is the cargo bay ever dark?]

Hello? Captain??

Mr. Schott?

.... Miss Price?

[He flicks on the main lighting system at last after a mild curse hitting his knee, and he's horrified by what he sees, as Hotel California plays muffled over the speakers. Not played by anyone on board, of course. But that's not the worst of it... No, the worst of it is that he finds himself... surrounded. By plastic...pink... flamingos.]

Oh... dear god.

...

[He plucks up a note.]

"To Edwin Jarvis, to help with the homesickness, a kind sponsor has decided to offer an army of your favorite Earth creature..."

[He looks to the left. Flamingos. To the right. Flamingos. There's some sitting in the shuttle seats. There's one wearing one of his ties.

Jarvis wipes a hand across his forehead, looking to the floor in his shock.]

... This is the worst day of my life.

[One of the flamingos tips over and clatters.

DISCONNECTED.

....

no, no, this is not over!!!

RECONNECTED.]

What in the bloody underworld am I supposed to do with dozens upon dozens of these?!

[hands on HIPS!!!! LECTURING THE ATROMA!!!!]

This is a sour waste of resources!! I would like a recall! Nobody wants your army of — of — hellbirds!

[... Outside of the SS Tourist, they've also peppered the ocean floor around the ship with flamingos, too.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Quite lovely. I'm sure you're familiar with at least a few lovely traditions, yourself.

[he's quiet for a moment and then laughs a little]

If it relates to love and family, I'm afraid I don't know much about that at all. I spent most of my youth training away from home and now I live as a ronin, trying to survive day to day.

[Mostly the truth, just a little bit of a lie.]

Oh! A ronin?

[HE IS UNFAMILIAR. Quite uneducated on Japanese culture, you know.

We didn't have google to check on things like KIDS THESE DAYS!!!]

A masterless samurai.

[He clarifies since the way Jarvis said that seems like he doesn't understand.]

I suppose...it's like I'm unemployed at the moment.

Oh, goodness.

... Though I wouldn't say... unemployed, exactly. You do have a rather unusual occupation at the moment that earns money, aboard the fleet. Even though it's... hardly a job you would have agreed to, I'm sure.

[He laughs.]

I certainly would not have agreed to having anyone watch me every day all day. I rather like my privacy and it's a little disturbing to think that I have to be careful about everything now.

[Like bathrooms, changing clothes, saying his name]

It's terrible to think about, isn't it.

I elected to be as dreary and dull as possible for the audience, but I fear I've given in to my frustrations today.

I thought about doing that, too, but then I thought the more entertaining I am, the more likely I am to win this game.

[Even if it isn't...really...a game...]

Is there such a thing as winning it?

I don't know, but if it gives me a chance to return home?

[He tucks a piece of hair behind his ear and is suddenly glad he went with voice rather than video. That way, Jarvis can't see the pain on his face as he forces his voice to remain bright and sunny as always.]

I might as well do what I can and enjoy myself.

... I suppose you're very much right.

No, I admit, you're very right. That's a lovely goal, regardless of the challenge.

I tried being boring, but....

[He huffs.]

I got bored with being boring. It's remarkably hard to do.

... I can't say I disagree. I'm more prone to simply baking... but I suppose there could be an audience for such a thing.

I would like to see you bake.

[Because then he can eat whatever you make.]

So perhaps there are others who would like to see that as well.

[OH WELL IN THAT CASE.]

I... guess that could be...

[He adjusts his tie.]

I do rather enjoy it, so I'll be doing it either way.

Please let me know when you do, then. I'd like to come see what "baking" is all about. I was never really allowed in the kitchens before, so this is very new to me.

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