driftfleet | Network Post

Who: Jack Sparrow and ANYONE
Broadcast: Fleetwide - Unfiltered
Action: Cargo Bay of the Bishop
When: Soon after appearing on the ship in a shower of brilliant confetti and chocolate

[The pirate's got the general idea of things after the rather sterile initiation aboard the Marsiva with all of the Metal Men serving him plates of mushy foodstuffs. All told, it hadn't been unlike the time he'd disguised himself as a eunuch to infiltrate the Moroccan sultan's choicest harem, but ended up assigned to polish the sultan's prized marble gazing ball collection instead. You were low eunuch on the totem, you didn't guard virgins; you rubbed balls day and night until they gleamed like a thousand dying suns.

But you can't let that get you down. You find a way to profit.

Which brings us back to the Metal Men aboard the Marsiva. Jack's first taste of futuristic robotics, they were rather like eunuchs, but were hard and shiny, like marble gazing balls. There were no virgins anywhere to behold. That was where all the similarities between the Marsiva and the sultan's palace stopped.]

Just like rubbing the sultan's damnable balls again. [Alert listeners will hear him mutter that whilst musing over his adventures and trying to figure out use of the coms.

[The Bishop, though, had possibilities. Its cargo hold was empty save for a bicycle that didn't move and moving pathway to nowhere, but it had plenty of smuggling potential. Maybe, too, a place to hide the rum.

Later, louder, with video:] Captain Jack Sparrow, here, aboard the bloody metal box, Bishop.

[He doesn't care that Cersei is the "official" captain.]

I've got a keg of ale and a lovely bottle of rum [no he doesn't] to give to the gentleman -- or lady -- [no, he won't] what knows the prime trade routes in this quadrant of the universe. Savvy?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh? And what, young lady, do you require for your information? Pretty ribbons for your hair? A lovely squirrel-pelt mitten? [He only has the one.] The left hand one, mind.

Your hat'd do nicely.

[It's whimsical if nothing else.]

It's yours!

[Too bad she's not on video -- she'd see the scowling wince, the twitch and tic of the fingers toward the precious hat's brim -- and not just hear the pleasant tone.]

Now, what've you got for me?

Information. [None of it being info he wants. Eh, details.]

Only once I have the hat. I don't want you back out of the deal.

[Really, once she has it, she'll give it back. Probably.]

Problem is, dear heart, we're in the confines of these floating craft. My hat, I fear, would never survive the rimey currents of space to reach you.

[And yes, he's communications officer, but he has not yet learned how to beam things.

Possibly for the good of EVERYONE.]

Where there's a will... well, I'll figure you know the rest. I can make my way over to you. We're not completely stuck.

[It's complicated.]

You can make your way over....how?

[He's not letting you off the hook on this one, kiddo.]

Magic.

[It's a very straightforward answer. And she sounds perfectly serious about it, even if she's anything but.]

Bollocks! 'S exactly what I told the Pelagostans. Then they made me their chief!

Then you got demoted to captain, huh?

[Totally a valid question. Also she's on her way to one of her ship's shuttles. Just for the dumb hat.]

More or less. They did try to eat me, you know. Pelagostans will do that to a man they think is a god. So in a way, I was drastically demoted! But still alive, eh?

What a huge fall from grace. Your life must be so hard.

[She's actually stopped her trek to talk. Currently, she's just lounging in a shuttle.]

You've no idea, love. Though now it's not so bad, eh? These ships are...are safe. Ish. Give a man some breathing space.

[Though no doubt he'll go stir-crazy before too long.]

[Then she'd better not mention how easy it is for her to get almost anywhere in the ventilation shafts. Let him have a sense of security for a while. She can be nice about it.]

If you say so. Just don't open the air lock.