Network Post

[all7seas]

Who: Jack Sparrow and ANYONE
Broadcast: Fleetwide - Unfiltered
Action: Cargo Bay of the Bishop
When: Soon after appearing on the ship in a shower of brilliant confetti and chocolate

[The pirate's got the general idea of things after the rather sterile initiation aboard the Marsiva with all of the Metal Men serving him plates of mushy foodstuffs. All told, it hadn't been unlike the time he'd disguised himself as a eunuch to infiltrate the Moroccan sultan's choicest harem, but ended up assigned to polish the sultan's prized marble gazing ball collection instead. You were low eunuch on the totem, you didn't guard virgins; you rubbed balls day and night until they gleamed like a thousand dying suns.

But you can't let that get you down. You find a way to profit.

Which brings us back to the Metal Men aboard the Marsiva. Jack's first taste of futuristic robotics, they were rather like eunuchs, but were hard and shiny, like marble gazing balls. There were no virgins anywhere to behold. That was where all the similarities between the Marsiva and the sultan's palace stopped.]

Just like rubbing the sultan's damnable balls again. [Alert listeners will hear him mutter that whilst musing over his adventures and trying to figure out use of the coms.

[The Bishop, though, had possibilities. Its cargo hold was empty save for a bicycle that didn't move and moving pathway to nowhere, but it had plenty of smuggling potential. Maybe, too, a place to hide the rum.

Later, louder, with video:] Captain Jack Sparrow, here, aboard the bloody metal box, Bishop.

[He doesn't care that Cersei is the "official" captain.]

I've got a keg of ale and a lovely bottle of rum [no he doesn't] to give to the gentleman -- or lady -- [no, he won't] what knows the prime trade routes in this quadrant of the universe. Savvy?

Comments

[namisan]

Oh, so he's an asshole. [She'd say marine, but different worlds, etcetera, etcetera. She's pretty sure Jack means much closer to asshole, really.]

Bigger than I'd like. Not big enough for any pirate or marine worth their salt to try for.

[all7seas]

Not sure I have a bounty. [Except for his very SOUL, which is at stake with Davy Jones.] I do owe nearly everyone a quid, though.

[namisan]

So don't ever loan money to you. Check.

[all7seas]

Or borrow from. I'm skint broke.

[namisan]

Oh. But now, don't you have a keg of ale and a lovely bottle of rum? I wouldn't call that skint broke.

[If you actually do have those things.]

[all7seas]

I don't...actually have those things. Actually. NEED those things -- I need those things. Rum, particularly.

[namisan]

A lying pirate. I'm shocked. [Dryly.]

Well, look, as it's your first day, I'd be willing to treat you to a drink. One, thereof. [It's always handy to keep on the right side of pirates. Especially when you might decide to shaft them later.] Kind of a 'welcome to the most boring fleet in existence' thing.

[all7seas]

I could use a little boredom right now, lovely. Where's this drink of yours?

[namisan]

Get one of your crew to show you how to get to the Iskaulit. Once there, follow the signs to the Space Bar. It's your average dockside tavern, really. Just kind of missing a dockside.

action?

[all7seas]

[EVENTUALLY Jack figures this out on his own by pressing lots of buttons. The first button just made soup, but then he realized he was in the galley. The next button resulted in a terrifying transport to the Iskaulit.


Finally he saunters into the Space Bar, determined not to look terrified or like he's peering around for Nami. Instead he sits down and requests rum.]

action!

[namisan]

[The bar is reminiscent of a lot of dockside taverns, down to mismatched chairs and sawdust and the smell of whiskey pervading everything. Not so much the less palatable smells, at least; it's a carefully crafted atmosphere.

Nami is happily in plain sight behind the bar. She can't quite give you rum, but it's a very close space-equivalent, slapped down in a large wooden mug in front of Jack.]

You got here earlier than I expected, all things considered. Here.

[all7seas]

[He casts a doubtful look at it.] Thanks.


This rum, darling? It doesn't seem...right.

[namisan]

Think of it as space rum. Every batch of rum tastes that little bit different, doesn't it? You won't get many things you'd actively recognise from home, but we make do.

[She nudges it forward. G'won Jack, it's actually pretty good.]

[all7seas]

[Very well. Down the hatch.


It's actually surprising that Jack has any taste buds left.]

Hrmmmmmm. ALMOST tastes like home, I s'pose. Cheers, darling.

[namisan]

Cheers.

There's a lot of different tastes out in space. Some of them are even good.

Captain Jack Sparrow, was it? There's not a lot of pirates on board, so. Condolences. Or congratulations, maybe.

[all7seas]

You find that there's ill will toward pirates hereabouts?

[namisan]

No, actually. Most people I've spoken to have a lot of misconceptions about pirates; we're stories to them, mostly.

No, I just meant you may prefer not having others here. I don't know. Different crews don't tend to get along.