video;

[helmsplitter]

Who: Doudanuki Masakuni
Broadcast: Video, Fleetwide
Action: Caprine, if interested
When: Now!

[Welcome to Doudanuki's Very Important PSA. He turns on the video and stands back, dressed in the Fleet provided beige jumpsuit. He has his sword sheathed in one hand and clears his throat.]

Alright, since I've had to explain this rusts know how many times just on the last planet, I figured I'd just show you all at once.

My name's Doudanuki Masakuni. I'm a war sword, and yes, I mean that literally. This body? [He points to the human form.] Is a manifestation. This body? [He holds the sword out in front of him.] Is my real body.

I'm a tsukumogami. I live in a sword. I have a human body 'cause my saniwa, my current master, used their powers to give me one. And in case you keep doubtin' me?

[He tosses his sword on his bunk behind him. Then he suddenly disappears in a flash of light just as the sword hits the bed.

A moment later he reappears in a flash of light and a shower of cherry blossom petals, dressed in his usual armor and black clothing. He's now holding his sword across his lap as he sits cross-legged on the bed. For a moment he looks disoriented, then he shakes his head, dislodging a few cherry blossoms, and looks at the camera again.]

If you got questions, I'll answer them today and today only. After that, don't tell me I can't be a sword or I'll punch you.

Comments

Video

[continuousgroaning]

I've already seen it happen and it's still impressive.

Video

[helmsplitter]

Not meant to be impressive so much as informative, but I guess? Thanks?

Video

[continuousgroaning]

I'm always here to help.

Video

[helmsplitter]

You feelin' any better since the ring world?

video

[bythewaves]

Are you having trouble, Doudanuki?

video

[helmsplitter]

Nah, I'm fine. Just [sigh] tryin' to explain to as many people as possible all at once.

video

[bythewaves]

[ An acknowledging hum ]

Is it so hard to believe that a blade can have a soul for folk? Although I do not think I have seen you do that vanishing trick before.

video

[helmsplitter]

I don't like doing it much here 'cause it's been giving me a headache after.

[It didn't used to, which is why he hates this so much.]

But it's usually the only way people really get that I'm not human.

video;

[stoccado]

[There are many valid points and interesting displays here. So, naturally, Asuna focuses on the one that she sees most important.]

Don't threaten to punch people, there's no need for that.

[Stern!!!!]

video;

[helmsplitter]

[YOU'RE NOT HIS MOM

YOU CAN'T TELL HIM WHAT TO DO]

When I've been gettin' asked every single conversation I get? Yeah, there's a need for it.

video;

[stoccado]

Asked what you mean? Did anyone specifically say you can't be a sword?

video;

[helmsplitter]

[Do you see his face? He is so tired, Asuna.]

Most people here don't believe me until I demanifest and sometimes not even then.

[He rubs his temples.]

I hate havin' to keep puttin' it on display like this, so I thought I'd get it done all at once.

voice

[kingofbadlifechoices]

[Normally he would shake his head in disbelief and tell the young man that he simply cannot be a sword because a sword does not live. But that was a year ago.

Nowadays Robb knows that men definitely can be swords. Just like his friend can change into a flying beast.]

I have not seen you become the sword. [Because Robb interprets it as a man changing clothes really fast.] But your armor is impressive.

voice

[helmsplitter]

I just did it.

[He's getting a headache, Robb. Seriously, bro, just believe him...]

But uh, thanks for the compliment. Armor comes as part of the deal. [aka his entire body which he gestures to.] I can change outta it, but if I demanifest, it'll come right back.

voice

[kingofbadlifechoices]

You did? I saw this flash...

[He cocks his head and raises his eyebrows.]

What is it made of? Is it iron? Do you wear chainmail underneath? [At the last words he just nods slowly. He does not entirely buy your statement yet, bro.]

voice

[helmsplitter]

That was me goin' back into the sword.

[He shrugs and then unties the neck armor piece, pulling it off to reveal that nope - no chainmail underneath. It's just the armored plates, his scarf, and then his chest.]

Steel plates, I'm guessin'. It's what most armor was made outta when I was forged. No need for chainmail though. It's comfortable enough as is.

Video;

[servantnotserving]

[Oh honey. ]

I think you'll find people will still be inclined to put their feet in the mouths, my friend. Especially if they are new. A valiant effort, though!

Video;

[helmsplitter]

Have you been gettin' a lot of weird stares, too?

[Because as weird as it is to be a sword, at least he looks human to most people. Poor Lumiere has to deal with...well, being made of talking wax.]

Video;

[servantnotserving]

I have, but honestly, I have been expecting it. Most people do not expect their furnishing to start talking to them.

Video

[all7seas]

....Whoa! You're a sword.

[Jack's from a world where things are often other things in disguise, but this is the first talking sword he's ever met.]

Do it again!

Video

[helmsplitter]

I ain't a performin' monkey!

[So no, Jack. You can't get him to just do it again.]

But thanks for believin' me.

Video

[all7seas]

[BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT]

I...I do believe!










Do you ever...cut yourself? On yourself?

video.

[throwsdown]

.....

[He holds up a metal cup.]

Does this got a soul, too?!

video.

[helmsplitter]

[He really hopes you're being serious and not trolling him, child. HE REALLY HOPES SO.

Because he squints at the cup for a moment and then shrugs.]

I dunno. Is it over a hundred years old?

video.

[throwsdown]

... I don't know. I just like drinking out of it.

How do you ask?