Captain's Log 09 - Rumor Has It

[universal_charm]

Who: Jim Kirk + You
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Yes, the Tourist + the Iskaulit
When: Drift Week

[ Video ]
<sub>[ Kirk appears on the screen, wearing his customary black t-shirt. He's a simple man at heart, really. If you look behind him, one can see a number of boxes, all seemingly overflowing with similar black shirts. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what's happened. A sponsor drop.

He's twirling some bits of paper in front of him, a look somewhere between bemused and annoyed on his face. ]</sub>

So I suppose I should thank someone for all the new shirts that just came in. I assume they are to make up for these that I have heard going around. I have to say, some of these are quite inventive, so props to whomever came up with them.

Let's read my favorites, shall we?

One - Kirk likes to twirl in his captain's chair when no one is looking.

Two - Kirk rips his shirts on purpose.

Three - Kirk and Leonard McCoy are in a romantic relationship together.

Four - Kirk is secretly a zombie.

Five - Kirk is actually a virgin.

There is quite a lot to unpack in those, which I assume come from the "viewers". Two of which have me saying - really? Do you know me at all? But I applaud your imaginations, truly.

_{[ He pushes away from his position of leaning on his desk - at which point his black shirt rips right across the chest. He looks down and sighs, giving his head that little shake of the exasperated when something has happened one to many times in a day. He looks up at the camera and points with his little stubs of paper. ]}

Contrary to belief, that was not on purpose. And whoever dropped these - F for quality.

_{[ And he turns off the video to go change. Sorry guys, no show today. ]}

[ Action ]
<sub>[ Over the course of the next week or so, it is highly likely one will run into Kirk on either the Tourist or the Iskaulit in some variable form of undress - bet it with an intact shirt, a ripped shirt, or changing into a new one he carried with him at all times. If you have never seen his tattoos before, now's your chance.

Also, for the Tourist, don't mind the ripped up shirts that are beginning to appear in every trash receptacle, and even forming a modest pile just outside his door in one of the emptied boxes. He really has nowhere else to put them. ]</sub>

Comments

Video

[halfbloodhatchling]

Quite a few of those could make things rather awkward.

[ It sounds to Kai like he's been given permission to tease Kirk a little. ]

Re: Video

[universal_charm]

Hah - enlighten me as to which. I'll confirm or soothe your fears accordingly.

_{[ He takes it like a pro, really. One might think he was used to these kind of shenanigans. ]}

Re: Video

[halfbloodhatchling]

[ Kai is going to tick them off on his fingers as he goes. ]

Zombie. Sounds awkward and I'm not sure I want you eating my brain. Virgin. I'd have to wonder how exactly you're defining that. McCoy. If you're in a romantic relationship with my captain then I should probably be nicer to you.

[ Because it's Kai's niceness that would make that awkward or not. Hah. He's not really worried, because that seems like the kind of thing that would have come up before now.]

Re: Video

[universal_charm]

_{[ He ticks off his fingers in turn. ]}

One - that's just ignorance talking, not all zombies eat brain. The brain has almost no nutritional value anyways.

Two - Not in the way most think, as you well know.

_{[ He grinned and winked at Kai. ]}

Three - I would think you'd be nicer to me anyways since I'm your captain's captain.

Re: Video

[halfbloodhatchling]

One - Then what makes one a zombie?

[ Two is a matter settled satisfactorily enough. ]

Three - But as my captain's captain I feel an obligation to make sure you don't start getting a big head.

[universal_charm]

I think the basic principle is simply coming back from the dead. That's the basic qualification. Eating brains is so passe.

_{[ He would hope so. He's very rarely received complaints! ]}

If you want to do that, then you keep Bones's hypos away from me. My head and the rest of me will stay normal size that way.

[halfbloodhatchling]

Hmm. That's a little different. How long does someone have to be dead to count?

If that's a sex reference, then I don't want to know.

[universal_charm]

I would say clinically dead, at the least.

No, not it is not a sex reference. It's quite literal, as it turns out.

[halfbloodhatchling]

Then you might need to elaborate. What precisely did he do?

[universal_charm]

He stuck my with multiple hypos to help smuggle me aboard a ship several years ago and I tend to suffer every know side effect - which includes but is not limited to the extreme swelling of my hands and tongue.

[halfbloodhatchling]

...Humans.

[ Whether he means McCoy or Kirk is a little up to debate. ]

Are you alright now?

[universal_charm]

Oh yes, I'm fine now. They were allergic reactions - Bones too care of them. After causing them, but he took care of them.

[halfbloodhatchling]

Well then. Try to keep your head at a normal size in the future, please?

[universal_charm]

Hey, I was not the one injecting me with all kinds of hypos and whatnot, that was all Bones.

[halfbloodhatchling]

This really seems like a matter for you and he to resolve, unless you're asking me to protect you?

[ A lifted eyebrow, amused. ]

[universal_charm]

I couldn't ask you to betray your captain, but I also wouldn't not encourage you to make sure he maybe loses some of those hypos either...

[halfbloodhatchling]

And do they have any uses other than torturing you?

[universal_charm]

Well, they can work as inoculations against certain diseases. Which is why I said to 'lose' them, not destroy them.

[halfbloodhatchling]

Yeah, yeah. Still a lot of trouble you're trying to get me into.

[universal_charm]

Look, I'll take the heat - I usually do anyways, so that's nothing new for me anyhow. Just, you know, whenever I come over, do it for me? As a favor?

[halfbloodhatchling]

You'll owe me one.

[ A wink, though. Sure, Kai can do that, even if he doesn't understand it. At least, he'll do it once and figure out how McCoy reacts. ]

[universal_charm]

Acknowledged. Just don't wait to long to call it in, okay?

_{[ A wink of his own, glad they have reached an understanding and he is safe for at least one physical. ]}

[halfbloodhatchling]

I can think of a use or two for such a favor.

[ And that's plenty to say on a public line. ]