driftfleet | April System Mingle

_{[ Just a bit of blush, honestly. Maybe some mascara too. ]}

It's a great look on them, maybe not a person. Certainly not me.

_{[ He looked around them, sucking his lip. ]}

Okay, you're going to have to help me with the second. Maybe a drug store? Certainly one of the make up shops will.

No, probably not you. [She agrees lightly and then nods. Yeah, a drug store would theoretically have what they need. If some carry makeup, they should have remover.]

Drug store it is then. Or, we'll just have to hit every one we see and hope for the best. If we can't find any, you're going to have to live with the whole... [How to describe it?] Punk rocker look?

_{[ He glanced at her with slightly narrowed eyes. ]}

You're enjoying this a little to much.

Oh, I am going to treasure this memory for every lifetime that follows Ezri.

[No point in lying, or hiding her grin. The laughter is already in her eyes.]

I just hope I can tell Ben. He broke a few rules to get your autograph once.

That's probably why I gave it to him in the first place.

_{[ He chuckled, but paused and glanced at her again. ]}

Why did you refer yourself in the third person?

He posed as your yeoman to get it. I think it was cheating.

[A faint little shrug.]

Joined Trills do that sometimes, because we've lived so many lives. And when Dax is implanted again, it won't be me. Jadzia did it sometimes.

Maybe, but I've cheated a few times myself, so I don't think I can hold it against him.

_{[ He made a soft sound at that. ]}

So - do you carry the memories of the one Dax was joined with before? Or rather, are you able to see them?

Yeah but he gave us the typical time travel lecture and then did that.

[Completely. Unfair.]

I carry the memories of all of them. And I can remember that as if they were my own memories. I dream about them sometimes or I can bring them to the surface if I ever need to interact with and get help.

Good - I agree with my other self. You shouldn't mess with time travel. The ripples you cause could have effects you can't possible comprehend.

_{[ His voice is a little hard on that last sentence, but it clears
quickly. ]}

But it's not a constant, knowing stream?

You and your other self is the entire reason we have a Temporal Prime Directive. [Sigh.] I hate time travel. Too much to keep track of.

[They can at least show their distaste of time travel together.]

No, my memories will stay dominant for this lifetime. Thank goodness.

I can assure you, that will not come about by choice.

_{[ Seriously. Not on his watch. It can't be helped when it's an
accident of course, but yeah, that would be a damn good Protocol. ]}

Still, very interesting. So do you and Dax - well, if I might ask, how does the symbiosis actually work? Dax has a personality of their own, from the way you've spoken about it, and you have your own as well, so do your brains sync somehow?

Glad to hear it, save your future Starfleet some difficulty.

[Save them all, Jim.]

Dax does but it's also built up over the years, we affect it and it affects us. Dax always dreamed of the stars, it was curious. Lela never was really curious about space until she was joined to Dax. [She nods.] You're quick, we're connected physically and mentally. We'll die if we're separated.

_{[ Look, he does what he can, but honestly half the time this shit just
finds him. ]}

So you share brain function then? Does it cause issues over which of you is controlling the body? It sounded like for a moment I was speaking with Dax since you said "Ezri", but now you're speaking about "Dax", so I'm assuming Ezri is in control. Or at least is the primary personality in this moment.

_{[ Curious Kirk is curious, so sorry Ezri. ]}

Oh no, I'm always in control. There's never been any kind of situation where the symbiont has taken control. Really, it's just something some of us do once we're joined. It's hard to explain, I guess because some part of us always lives on? Do talking about ourselves in the third person doesn't mean anything.

[Curiosity is good! Trill actually value learning and now that the secret isn't a secret, curiosity is normal.]

Oh, I see. Then does Dax - I suppose the term might be "speak" with you? Also, Dax is receiving a host to live in, but symbiotic implies you also receive something in return to your benefit. Is it allowable to speak about what it is, or is it personal?

The symbionts used to be a secret, not even the Vulcans knew. Not until a few years ago, Beverly saved a joined diplomat. [By which she means she saved the symbiont.]

Not really though, Dax is just kind of there. And we joined alright, sometimes symbionts and trill don't join right. I'm not explaining this well. I was a triple niner- one of the nintey-nine point nine percent of trill humanoids not suitable to be joined but mostly just because I never wanted a symbiont.

Edited 2017-04-20 05:53 (UTC)

_{[ He frowned a bit harder and looked at her. ]}

Were you forced to join with Dax?

[Quickly:] No.

No, we're never forced to join. Dax's previous host had been killed though, the Destiny was taking Dax back to trill to recover and find another, suitable, host. Dax took a back turn during the trip though, and I was the only Trill available to be a host to save Dax's life. The captain let me choose: save Dax or not, she would never have ordered me to host a symbiont.

[The symbionts are important to Trills though. And even if she hadn't wanted one in her pocket, she couldn't bring herself to watch one die.]

_{[ Kirk nodded, satisfied with this answer. ]}

Has the way you came together negatively affected you though? And if I might ask - why did you not want one?

Not really. Aside from the occasional identity mistake.

[She looks thoughtful for a moment, expression turning hard.] I was afraid of losing myself, who I am, to everyone else Dax had ever been. You hear about it once in awhile, the memories and personality of a previous host overwhelming the new one. It's rare but I didn't want to lose Ezri in all that.

It seems kind of silly now.

_{[ He shook his head. ]}

No, I think that's a legitimate fear. Some things you can ignore the possible dangers of, but something like that - something where the core of yourself is risked - I think that's something to be frightened of, to make a person pause.

Spock and I have often said "the needs of the many before the needs of the one", but sometimes... sometimes there are just things you can't ask a person to give up. Which makes it truly impressive and courageous that you accepted Dax.

Dax had been on the front lines of the Dominion War, had served Starfleet for three lifetimes, been a diplomat- I couldn't let that die.

As a Trill, I couldn't let a symbiont die.

_{[ Again he just nodded. It wasn't his place to comment on that, and if
it was how Ezri felt and she had made the decision for herself, he really
had no right. So long as she was not forced, he was satisfied. ]}

So, should I keep addressing you as Ezri? Or should I say Ezri and Dax? Do you prefer she, him, they, something else?

Ezri. My name is Ezri Dax now, though. The symbionts name always replaces the family name of the host.

And I'm a female, it's all dependent on the host. If everything had gone correctly, the Kirk from my timeline, would have met Torias Dax. Maybe you'll actually get to meet him someday.

Heh, maybe. I rather hope so. It means I manage to live quite a few more exciting adventures, doesn't it?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject