April System Mingle

[thespaceopera]

Who: Everyone!
Broadcast: Possibly!
Action: April System
When: Month of April!


[Welcome to the Belt, a huge asteroid belt that's been terraformed for life. Here you can explore the different asteroids, become a rock star, race on some ATVs, enjoy not being underwater.

In other words, it's a mingle! Get in everyone!

> System Info ]

Comments

[winn]

[ kitty will not kill him for making him cry, especially not happy tears. but kurt's safe; winn's spent most of his life hiding feelings, he's usually good at not crying. he smiles at the gesture.

he would hate to think that kurt is doing it for him, kitty's his best friend - he should tell her for himself. ]

Well, I warmed her up for you - [ she knows about him. and she's been...incredibly cool about it. the only relationships in his life she's expressed jealousy for to him were with his guy friends, so he'd totally get her having a negative reaction to learning that there's a possibility for sexual attraction there too, but there was nothing. she kept trying to get him to own up to it, to accept himself. if she did that for him, he has no doubt she'll be cool as it gets for kurt. ]

[ecclesiophobic]

[Keeping secrets from a friend isn't the worst thing Kurt's done to someone he loved; ask the ghost of Bobby Drake. It isn't even the first or last thing he's kept from her. Sometimes the kindest gift is a lie.

Just like the smile he manages at Winn's joke, shaky with nerves but trying for good humor.] Ja, that you did.

[winn]

[ kitty wouldn't see it that way. there were times winn has felt that keeping anything from her is considered a terrible offense, even when it was just him not feeling ready to share because they haven't known each other that long yet. ]

It won't matter to her - you know that, right?

[ecclesiophobic]

[Very few people would. It's one of his mother's legacies that Kurt has made his peace with being misunderstood.]

Wish I could say I did. [Logically, he does. If Kitty accepted her boyfriend being qu--bisexual, and how strange it is to have a word for something he assumed for so long was human default--then it makes no sense for her to reject him. But if she did--] It's a lot to risk.

[winn]

[ present company would definitely forgive him any lie that didn't put someone in harm's way. even some of those, if the person wasn't actually harmed. bad. look, he'll forgive a lot, okay, he just wants to have friends.

he reaches for his shoulder and gives it a squeeze. ]

I know how that feels - but this is Kitty. She loves you so much, Kurt, and she doesn't care about that stuff. If it was gonna bother her with anyone it'd be me, and she's been pushing me to accept it. Not exactly the reaction of someone who's scared or ashamed.

[ecclesiophobic]

[This will probably work in Kurt's favor if or when some of the worse secrets he's been keeping come out. He still hasn't had the courage to tell Kitty the cost of his revenge, and he never intends to tell her about Paige.

The gesture gets a smile from him, and his own hand resting briefly over Winn's.] I don't deserve so good a woman for my friend. She continues to amaze me with how much of her kind heart she kept safe.

[winn]

[ winn's instinct is always going to be forgive until it becomes completely impossible because he just lost too many people in his life. he has no intention of sustaining unnecessary losses. ]

Of course you deserve her. You make her happy - that's all the qualification you need.

[ecclesiophobic]

[Probably a good thing Kurt is around to balance him out with his amazing ability to hold a grudge. Although in the case of Kitty, they're much the same; Kurt often finds himself torn between making himself into a monster to push her away or doing whatever it takes to keep her happy and safe.

(He still thinks he should distance himself for her own good, but a small part of him that feels like hope is beginning to whisper that maybe he doesn't have to. Maybe he's not too broken to rebuild.)]

I want you to remember those words, Winn. And the next time you may feel yourself worrying that you might not be good enough for her, apply them to yourself.

[winn]

[ between the two of them hides a well balanced person.

he smiles and shrugs. ]

I give very good advice but I very seldom follow it.

[ no, actually, the truth is he's been doing a lot better with it. he wouldn't be working his cute little butt off to earn money for rings so he could propose to her if he didn't believe he was good for her. but joking is easier when it comes to himself. ]

[ecclesiophobic]

[Her name is TJ Wagner.]

Funny, so do I.

[Kurt slides himself back onto his seat properly; or as properly as he can with a tail, and takes a rather large gulp of his drink.] I'll admit I feel a little ridiculous telling her; it's not as though I intend to do anything about it. It might be useful for gathering information, but it's not as though I have to do that very often here.

[He sounds so casual about the prospect.]

[winn]

I don't intend to do anything about it ever, I intend to be with Kitty for the rest of my life - it's still good for both of us that she knows. I don't have to feel like I have to hide something from her, like it's shameful, like there's something wrong with me, and she feels trusted and closer to me. It's not about what we do, you know, it's about who we are.

[ he takes a long sip of his own drink and plays with the glass tilting it from side to side. ]

I know what you mean, though. I haven't told Kara yet. [ as irrational as it is, he's afraid to. ]

[ecclesiophobic]

[Kurt listens, his eyes firmly fixed on the remaining liquid in his glass.] That... is probably the most healthy way to go about it. The weight of secrets in a relationship, even when the other person asked you to keep something from them, strains it.

[He looks up then, his face tilting toward Winn.] Do you think she'll take it badly? [Does he need to attempt fighting another invincible being? He'll do it.]

[winn]

[ him, in a healthy relationship. imagine that! ]

I learned it from Kitty. She's made me open up more than I even knew I had in me.

[ he smiles fondly, but shakes his head at kurt's question. ]

No, I don't think she'd care. In - the good it's-not-gonna-bother-her kind of way, not that she'd be insensitive or anything I just...I've never been good at going to Kara to talk about things, that's never been our dynamic. [ he was so scared of losing her, so scared that she might see some of that darkness that lived inside his father in him - that he always smiled and was there for her and that was it. it's changed a lot over the past couple years, but when they talk about him it's still her coming to him, forcing it out of him. the thought of going to her and telling her that he's bi but it doesn't matter because he's basically kittysexual now is, well, whole new levels of awkward. ]