5. Unicorn Floot-Tina-puccinos [Video]

[continuousgroaning]

Who: Tina Belcher and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Paisley
When: May 1st
NOTE: The art of Tina in her unicorn onesie was done by nirnroot!

[When Tina opens the video feed, she's unashamedly dressed in a unicorn onesie, and is sucking noisily on the straw of a colorful drink. However, the cup has "TUNA BELCHES" written on it in black Sharpie. Either Tina doesn't notice or she doesn't care.]

Mmmmm, this tastes like magic. Hey, Paisley crew, there's one here for each of you, too. Better come and get it before they melt.

Uhm, there's a whole crateful of bottled ones, too. They're up for grabs if you want one. [She sets her communicator down, digs in the crate and holds up a glass bottle filled with bright pink liquid.] They're very pink. Like, painfully pink. And called Unicorn Floot-puccinos, since I guess unicorns are my thing now. [Her tone turns very sarcastic.] Ha, ha, ha. Because the meat was so, so funny.

Comments

[mech_and_mutt]

That I can do. I'll have you know I'm a real crowd-pleaser back home; can't be too different here.

...But how do you know who's sponsorin' you?

[continuousgroaning]

[Tina chuckled.]

Well, you have a leg up on me, then. All I did was go to school and work in my dad's restaurant. I'm not big reality material.

Uhm, good question. A lot of it just says Floot Brand on it.

[mech_and_mutt]

Hey, nothing wrong with that! School's important.

[That confident nod he gave the camera suggested that wholesome audience appeal might have moreso, however.]

Floot Brand? I'll keep an eye out for it when the fan letters come rollin' in.

...You do get fan letters, right?

[continuousgroaning]

Mmhmm! I actually kinda miss it. I know some of the adults are working to get a school going here, so that's exciting. Stefan has been teaching me about science and religion, but I could always stand to learn more.

[She smiles.]

I've never seen any, but you just missed a bunch of rumors being spread by the fans. We'd find post-it notes everywhere with silly things being written about us on them.

[mech_and_mutt]

I'd have thought they'd have implants for that stuff too, but maybe there's no substitute for a real education. [Imagine that, maybe his teacher was right all along...]

What sorta things did they write?

[continuousgroaning]

Yeah, the implants seem to be for very specific things. They only give you enough to be able to do your job on your ship, but anything beyond that you have to learn yourself.

Well, one of them said I was a vegan, which is pretty impossible when your family makes hamburgers for a living.