001 | the welcome wagon job

[stealy]

Who: Parker and you!
Broadcast: nope!
Action: all over the place
When: from now until forever drift week

Bishop

[ she barely skimmed the surface of the first ship that held her - and not for lack of trying, which is simultaneously frustrating and exhilarating (she chooses to focus on the latter) - when poof, like magic she's standing somewhere else.

magic's not real though. right? is it? is it?

if hardison can find her here, he really is the best, and he really did look hard. she's not counting on it.

she's at the ready the second her feet touch down on the bridge. she's unarmed - to her chagrin - but it's okay. she may not be a hitter, but she doesn't need a weapon to be dangerous. the confetti confuses but doesn't faze her. if there happens to be a person there, on the other hand, and they get too close, they'll find themselves pushed against the wall with surprising strength, forearm digging into their neck ]

How'd you do that?

[ whos and whys are so overrated, really.

if no one is there when she arrives, however, she'll be eating that chocolatey dessert (you snooze you lose!) and making her way through the ship, mapping it in her mind, feet not making a sound on the floor. when she hears people approach, she'll try to hide - did the ceiling always have a blond woman clinging to it? ]

A ship! Any ship!

[ like she's going to just stay where they want her! there's a situation. that situation must be dealt with. the first thing she needs is a safe house, and she's going to be looking for one in every single ship (ideally, she'd like to have one on each). don't mind the stranger silently creeping on your ship, listening to walls, touching panels, trying to find a space to crawl into, and retreating into what cover there is at every approach. happens every day, right?

oh, and if you got something especially valuable lying around, sorry, she's pocketing it. look, she doesn't know you earn money just by existing here, okay, and she's not willing to count on it either, if she's been informed by now. a girl has got to eat! ]

Planetside

[ parker doesn't stay put for long. she takes the shuttle on as fast a ride as it can handle and eventually ends up touching down on kayann. wandering around, she helps herself to essentials everywhere she goes; a snack here, a taser there, ooh cool a skydiver kit! her hands grab things so quickly and smoothly no one seems to know where they've gone - or, in most cases, notice it until she's far away. you have to be looking right at her hands or know what you're looking for to understand what happened and she's already on her way. best be quick!

she perches on a private spot, high above the city, to eat some of her loot (if people don't pick up their meal order promptly, how is that her fault? gosh! it's not like she poisoned it and left it for them to consume!).

there's a reality and it must be dealt with. she needs to get to know the place she's ended up in; survival first, exit strategy second. that sure is a pretty blond woman you can see climbing the side of the building, or you've run into in an air duct, or, alternatively, you've found puzzling over which plant to buy. yes, buy. food, clothes, equipment, a weapon - they're survival necessities, they tramp morals. but a luxury, even one she doesn't fully understand (nor does she grasp why the store beckoned to her so, why she feels the need to get a plant when there's not a leverage consolidated and associates office to put it in, when she has no desire to stay here in this place she didn't choose to go to - those days were meant to have ended a long time ago! but she's not overthinking it. it did, so she went in.), that, she's learned she should pay for or leave behind. unless, of course, it's owned by a bad guy. she peeks at the guy behind the register. he does look a little shifty, doesn't he? ]

Comments

Action - Wonderduck

[stealy]

[ she just and turns at the first syllable, staring around the direction of the voice.

she doesn't see anyone. but there was definitely a voice with a funny accent. ]

Are you invisible? That's not fair - [ what! she's in space, that's not a crazy conclusion to come to! ]

[servantnotserving]

[He laughs, waving a candle-hand from his spot on whatever surface he's decided to perch himself on. ]

Of course not, mademoiselle. I'm over here,

[stealy]

[ her eyes grow huge as they settle on the candelabra. is it a demon? ghost of that pretty gold candelabra that slipped out of her hands in italy?

don't be silly. it's a robot! she's going to move to pick it up then, and if she can, flip it over to find the battery cover. ]

[servantnotserving]

[People do seem to love to go the robot route. Lumière lets out a yelp as he's suddenly picked up- but thankfully snuffs out his flames, lest she end up burning herself. He's considerate like that.

From his newfound upside-down position. This is fine.]

I am not sure what your are looking for, mademoiselle, but chances are you will not find it on me. I am currently lacking in pockets to hide anything.

[stealy]

[ it's a little less creepy than hellspawn. you know. a little. it's kind of you, lumière, but the flames weren't really bothering parker. if it's not gonna kill her or take her money, it's not an issue. ]

Where's the off button? [ are you up for being shaken, lumière, or do you prefer stirred? ]

[servantnotserving]

[Being considered a robot IS better than being considered hellspawn. And wow, Parker, that's rude,
he doesn't appreciate the shaking. There seems to be a point where even Lumière decides he's not taking any more shit, and tries to wriggle himself free.

Which would be a lot easier if he had, you know, proper legs and hands. It's ineffectual flailing at bst.]

I do not have one- can you please stop shaking me? You're making me very dizzy.

[stealy]

[ is it? sorry, with no one whispering in her ear, it's really hard to tell.

she does stop, and flips him back over, staring close. ]

Are you a genie? Do you grant wishes? [ candelabra's close enough to a lamp, what! ]

[servantnotserving]

[This is why we need the whole Leverage gang. We really do.

Lumière flashes her a wide grin. ]

Only on occasion, for the most beautiful of people, mademoiselle~ [It's honestly a miracle he's not shaken MORE. ] But no. I am just a man who has been unfortunately cursed into this shape. I'm Lumière. Enchanté

[stealy]

[ it's true. at least hardison or sophie. it's irresponsible to leave her alone like this!

honestly, it's a miracle he isn't slammed against the wall in an attempt to turn him off. she makes a face at that grin. ]

Curses aren't real. [ they aren't, right? it's probably remote controlled, yeah. there's an antenna in the candle. question is, who's controlling it and where are they hiding - she'd like to get her hands on those controls, it's very distracting robot, she could find a use for it! ]

[servantnotserving]

[If she wants his help in committing crimes, all she has to do is ask, gosh. ]

Ah, but I am living proof that they do. Though before it happened to me, I didn't believe in them, either.

[stealy]

[ hey, equipment isn't help, she doesn't need help, okay. it's just...nice to have company. sometimes. ]

Is everything alive here? [ eyeing whatever's lying around suspiciously. she's not sure how to take this curse story, but better safe than sorry, right! ] Is that what they do, kidnap people to turn us into furniture? [ her whisper takes on a high pitch towards the end - oh hell no, they're not getting her! ] I don't wanna be a candelabra! Nobody even uses them anymore!

[servantnotserving]

[He likes to think he's excellent company. Just not...very stealthy company. ]

You do not have to worry about that, mademoiselle. I came here like this, the curse was on me long before Atroma brought me to the Fleet. Unless the person who did this to me shows up, you do not have to be concerned with turning into living furniture.

[Ugh, it's his mortal enemy again: the lightbulb. ]

...There is a mantel clock on this ship in the same situation as me. Please be gentle, if you see him, he is rather delicate.

[stealy]

[ how is that excellent? ]

What do you know about this Atroma?

[ she's going to take a break from imagining a cursed life or trying to figure out if he's making fun of her on account of his bringing up a subject she's particularly interested in: the mark.

they'll get back to the mantel clock later, though. sorry, buddy, she doesn't really do delicate. ]

[servantnotserving]

[It's excellent if you want to know where the party's at, Parker. ]

They are the people who brought us here. We do not see or speak to them- though they do have two spokeswomen. We do not see them much, though.

[Just don't drop him, you'll spill his cogs everywhere and those are his organs. He needs those. ]

[stealy]

[ parties usually announce themselves, they're loud. ]

Where do you find them?

[ don't worry, she's got a powerful grip, you can't be clumsy when you're climbing buildings and elevator shafts. ]

[servantnotserving]

[He points a candle-hand towards the big windows, at the monolith that is the Marsiva- floating along as ominous as always. ]

I believe they are on there. But finding them on there is...tricky. They never seem to be around when they bring us on there.

[stealy]

Of course they don't.

[ that would be too easy. aliens aren't stupid, you know. that's how they get away with all their abductions. ]

But you do talk to them, when was the last time they were around?

[servantnotserving]

About a month ago, their new spokeswomen talked to us. But otherwise, they hardly interact with us at all. It is not unusual for months to go by and never hear a word from them.

[He gives a shrug.]

It is not the news you wish to hear, I could bet, but that is how it is, unfortunately.

[stealy]

[ she tries to turn it in her head, make it fit. okay, so whatever this is - it's a long game. these people have put years into this already, and they're not afraid to keep waiting until they get what they came for. ]

What did she say?

[ what do they want. it's step one, right? figuring out their game. ]

[servantnotserving]

[Like hell Lumière paid any attention to that. He takes a moment to think about, squinting his eyes and tilting his 'head' a little. It's a very human gesture. Give him a sec, he'll get there. ]

Something about how they were our new hosts- the previous ones um- well, I am pretty sure they died? It is all on the network, if you wish to explore it more, everything gets recorded for prosperity here. It is part of the whole tee-vee show...thing from what I understand.

[He still only has a very vague understand of what a TV show is ok. ]

[stealy]

[ she doesn't much care for the exchange of power - as long as they're still kidnapping people, the people in charge are bad, real bad, and they messed with the wrong ex-bad guy. she's not going to mind their passing.

the documentation, on the other hand. she frowns. again. ]

I really don't like cameras. [ sure when they document everyone else they're useful - but they also document her and that's not a price she's willing to pay for surveillance! ]

[servantnotserving]

[Go get them, Parker. He shrugs his little bras shoulders. ]

They do not exist during my time, so I never really had an opinion on them. We at least get piad, for being watched all the time.

[He likes being the center of attention, so the surveillance really doesn't bother him. ]

[stealy]

[ with pleasure. ]

How much?

[ those are the magic words, lumière, remember them. if there's one thing that could dull the sting off of most things for this one - it's money. ]

[servantnotserving]

[He will note this reaction and store it for the future. It's always nice to know what makes people tic. Money, huh. ]

It depends on what you do here. If you are more interesting for the audience who watch us, you get more money.

[He got a considerable spike in his earnings after his last fight with Cogsworth- which was kind of weird to him, because he's always fighting with Cogsworth. But whatever, he got paid. ]

Of course, you can always take on work on the planets we visit, if you wish to bolster your savings.

[stealy]

[ money. she's pretty easy that way. ]

What counts as 'interesting'?

[ she thinks stealing is very interesting, her account should be exploding already! not that she intends to cater to their whims, she likes money - she's not a show pony. but it's good to know. you know, knowledge is power and all that.

pfft, work! you're a hoot! ]