» we're all starstruck in september

[mucked]

Who: Crew + Visitors
Broadcast: N/A
Action: Aboard the Starstruck
When: Septemberish

[ an open mingle for crew and visitors throughout the month. go wild. just not too wild. ]

Comments

[mucked]

-- Perhaps I envy you your cool-headedness on the matter.

[ which is an odd thing to say. but doubtless natasha can recall how even more tight-lipped peggy had been nearer to when steve had first arrived in the fleet. she'd always, always, always worried about the optics.

she'd been burned by the chatter after the war. it was a challenge to risk inviting that back onto herself once more. she'd had to learn, slowly, that the people in the fleet didn't talk like the people in the office. ]

[outstandingbalance]

Don't. [Natasha shrugs.] Not all of us can be Russian.

[mucked]

[ oh, hell, she laughs. it's an earnest sound. belly-deep, albeit not particularly happy. ]

You know, they made a radio programme. After the war. [ peggy settles into a seat on a cargo crate, the truth spilling out with sharp confidence. ] The Captain America Adventure Program. In every hour, a battalion triage nurse would be captured by Nazis only to be rescued in the nick of time by -- well. [ she doesn't need to say that much, does she? ]

They named her Betty Carver. Oh, they got all sorts of details wrong. Like his plane crashing in the Sea of Japan instead of the Atlantic and -- and I suppose any Tom, Dick, or Harry listening at home was none the wiser but it's not as though the rest of the SSR didn't know.

[ that betty carver's name was never betty carver. she was never a nurse. not a blonde, neither. ]

It was rather nice keeping things under wraps, here, for once.

[ because even men she'd worked with, men who'd never met steve rogers, seemed to assume she'd been friendly with him during the war. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha hums, a thoughtful noncommittal sound as she accepts this information.

There's a pause, though, as Natasha does think about it. She sees what Peggy is implying. Being back on this sort indirect communication is almost refreshing for Natasha.

Strange what a person can find comforting.

She considers quid pro quo. The irony of Peggy's glitch is that Natasha feels inclined to reciprocate. Even knowing the psychology behind the impulse, it's still there.]

You know they made an action figure of me, after New York?

[Is this a tangent? Probably. But it's something. If they're going to try to start something new between them they might as well start on the right foot. If the exchange of information is a little transactional in that respect, that only makes it easier for her to actually put it in words.]

That was before I had to dump SHIELD's files on all of us on the internet, to expose Hydra, but they still make them. Not as popular as Iron Man or Captain America, don't get me wrong. I'm not the main attraction here, but still... these... dolls. Like I was a superhero too.

I hate them. A spy? Really?

[She nods a little, maybe trying to draw a parallel. Maybe just sharing something not completely unrelated.]

I got one of them in the gift basket I got from the hosts when I got back to Vanquish.

[mucked]

[ hell, she doesn't even know what an action figure is. but she can suss it out. all the better, still, when nat goes so far as to call them dolls. and the very notion already has her scowling. a great deal of it is steve-based: she can't stand the merchandising, the propagandizing, the huzzah, captain america of it all.

but then she sets aside her gut reaction and allows herself to peel apart natasha's protest. peggy could sit back and tell her that spy or not she's just as deserving of the public's praise for her part in the battle of new york, and what happens afterward besides. but peggy isn't that sort of conversationalist. she isn't here to split hairs on heroism.

besides, her most honest answer is simply: ] Christ. I hope you shoved it out the airlock.

[outstandingbalance]

It's still in my bunk.

[She never bothered getting rid of it.]

Right next to the chocolate covered espresso beans.

[mucked]

[ peggy pulls a face. ]

Ugh, you can bloody well airlock those as well. [ blegh. ]

[outstandingbalance]

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

[Her response light, more joking than serious.]

Guess I'm not the type to get rid of something that might be useful later on.

[mucked]

And what use do you expect to find for your dollish self, hm?

[outstandingbalance]

[Masochism?]

You never know what might come up. It makes for a pretty good story, at least.

[One she never tells, and doesn't want to.]

[mucked]

Perhaps. [ peggy shakes her head. ] But if I were you I'm not convinced I could keep it around.

[ but she is, of course, not natasha. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[There's no denying how different they are in that respect.]

Not sure you'd be wrong to get rid of it either. But maybe if I keep it around, it'll keep me honest.

[mucked]

Honest. [ she echoes with a snort. ] Yes. Well. Do let us know how that works out for you.

[outstandingbalance]

If I find out, I will.

[mucked]

I suppose it was foolish of me to think that sort of thing might have fallen out of fashion. Lunch pails and dolls and comic books. [ and radio shows. ]

[outstandingbalance]

I don't think things like that ever go out of style. They just... evolved. There's always kids who want heroes.

[mucked]

[ kids who want heroes. she can't help it; her nose crinkles. perhaps she should be more sympathetic to the phenomenon, but she doesn't quite manage it. ]

And people who are eager to profit off that desire. No doubt.

[outstandingbalance]

Sometimes it's adults who want heroes too.

[It's a complicated situation, and at the end of the day Natasha isn't invested in defending or hating it; she'd just really rather not be in the spotlight.]

Maybe for different reasons. Sometimes for the same.

[mucked]

It was always the propaganda of it all that I couldn't stand. Steve has the patience of a saint -- you wouldn't think it, sometimes, but the way he stuck with the USO shows...

[ she's saying too much. she knows it. her mouth snaps shut with a shake of her head. ]

[outstandingbalance]

I might be less surprised than you'd imagine.

[In part because she knows Steve, and in part because he didn't entirely stop when he came out of the ice. Not entirely.]

He might have been roped into one or two other PR campaigns since I've known him too.

[mucked]

[ oh, no, now this is interesting. ]

One or two?

[ do elaborate. please. ]

[outstandingbalance]

He might have been convinced to do some community outreach programs. Stuff for schools. Reach out to the youth.

[mucked]

And in costume, I take it.

[ costume. on generous days, peggy calls it a uniform. today is not a generous day. she's seen steve rogers in a uniform, and it's the dress green she thinks of when she remembers mornings, afternoons, whole days spent in the war room next to captain rogers. ]

[outstandingbalance]

Suited up.

[Call it splitting the difference.]

[mucked]

I do dislike the thing.

[ raw, raw, raw. it's not as though her disdain for the moniker and what it entails has ever been secret, but she doesn't voice that disdain so clearly so often. ]