driftfleet | Tourist October Mingle

_{[ Kirk listened, letting Anders get his piece out without
interrupting. He crossed his arms as he listened, keeping his face schooled
into a firm, but dispassionate mask. Kirk glanced at Wolfe when he began
speaking, thinking the other was making a bit of a stretch of it. The two
of them had not looked like they'd proved anything to each other except how
much each hated the other. There were silver linings, and then there was
reaching for fool's gold.}

_{Kirk's attention went back to Anders, deciding he had better not let
this situation remain open-ended, so to speak. ]}

I don't doubt your dedication to your calling, Anders. I didn't hear the majority of your fight, so I am not going to make judgements on either side as to what happened except that both of you have seemed to cross serious lines with each other. I am not in the habit of mediating disputes between crew members - I believe we are all adults and should be able to handle such things ourselves.

However, I am going to make this clear: Fenris is my first mate. He is second in rank on this ship only to me. In a state of emergency, if he gives an order, you will need to obey it. Within reason, granted, but he is the ranking officer below me. I trust him with the safety of this crew and this ship, and if nothing else I would hope you trust my judgement on that. I am not going to ask you get along with him, or even like him. But I am going to ask that your dispute not put the crew or the ship in danger.

If it begins to become a problem, we will have to revisit other solutions. Am I clear?

_{[ All of it delivered in the even tone of a captain. The last part
isn't really a question so much as a badly disguised order. He would be
having a similar talk with Fenris later, when the elf had cooled down.
]}

Did I not just say as much? I told him that very thing and it meant nothing, do not-!

[He visibly bit back the anger and frustration that welled up at hearing the very promise he'd made moments ago issued to him as some order as though he couldn't possibly understand. He wanted to lash out and bite back like an animal cornered. And he was cornered. 'Not take sides' his ass, he knew which side Kirk was on and he knew Wolfe never took them where he could avoid it.

That emptiness that had torn at him since Justice had been separated from him ached now more than ever. He was the only person Anders could trust to try and understand and be on Anders' side no matter what. True, this 'incident' would likely have been ten times worse if Justice had still been with him, Justice and Fenris were more at odds than even Anders personally was with the elf; the threat likely would have ended in actual action.

Still, he could spare the selfish second of wishing for that backing now when it was impossible and he was busy staring down the man who was supposed to be leading him and have his best interest in mind as well as that of his First mate as all part of the crew. Perhaps he couldn't trust him as much as he'd thought.]

Yes, Captain. It's clear. Thank you for stepping in.

[His tone was cold, but even and lacking the venom he felt in his veins. This wouldn't be fixed now or ever, but Maker give him strength to not fight back against those that might try.]

If you don't mind, I was in the middle of something, as I'm sure you were as well.

[Throughout the entire exchange, he never once looked to Hawke.]

[Kirk and Anders talk and Wolfe frowns. He hears what they're saying, knows a little of what he could say to try and calm Anders but it might undermine Kirk's authority and maybe having that authority is a good thing here. Maker knows Fenris and Anders don't listen to him, but they knew him before he had any title. Kirk though, Kirk is Captain Kirk and insofar as that means anything it means he commands respect that Adalwolfe does not.

But Anders won't look at him now, which makes this all the harder.]

Here, I'll give you a hand.

[Carefully, Wolfe channels some of his mana, lifting the mattress and maneuvering it to where he imagines Anders would want it as another medical cot. What he wants to do is speak up and ask that Kirk be just as hard on Fenris, find out that Kirk understands it take two to start any argument and Fenris is just as culpable as Anders is. Hell, Adalwolfe would love if they could actually come up with some sort of method to stop them butting heads altogether, but asking any of that would also undermine Kirk in this situation, so he stays quiet and helps where he can, hoping that his earlier conversation with the captain will suffice. He has to trust that Kirk knows what he's doing, even if Wolfe would rather be the one in the middle in this case.]

_{[ He can see the frustration. He doesn't mean to stoke it, he doesn't, but he has to verbalize. He has to say it aloud and know that Anders understands it. He will address the same thing with Fenris later, but Fenris is not here in this moment is he? Anders is, and of the two, he believes Anders to be the more reasonable. Or perhaps not, since he had let Fenris goad him, and threatened the use of magic from what Kirk understood.

He let out a sigh, not backing down from that attitude or that particular dismissive tone. If this had been a Federation ship, he would have had Anders on cabin arrest. ]}

Anders, I'm not blaming you for the argument and I know there is more than one side in this. But I have to say what I said aloud because I need to hear it, from you, that you understand. If you said the same to Fenris, I didn't hear it.

_{[ He crossed his arms again. ]}

I will speak with Fenris later about this, and I think we should speak again too. But you should know I don't share Fenris' views. I believe you are a good doctor, Anders, and I am glad you are here.

_{[ He looked to Hawke and gave a slight nod. You take care of your boyfriend, Wolfe, because it seems they are both involved with ridiculous people.

And with that he turned and walked away, leaving the two of them to work things out and contemplate how and when he was going to bring this all up with Fenris. ]}

[Anders remained stubbornly silent. What Kirk said made sense logically, Anders couldn't begrudge the man for covering his bases and just trying to do his job, but there was a part of him that still wanted to anyway. He set his jaw and simply waited instead, his only other response being to give Kirk a nod to at least acknowledge that last part.

But then Kirk left and the silence remaining in the room was bordering on suffocating.

He busied his hands with whatever he could to put things away or straighten things out and avoid looking at Adalwolfe for as long as possible.]

Thank you for moving that. [His tone was clinically even and held an edge of dismissal as though he expected Hawke to just leave now that the proverbial ire had been put out. But Hawke was still there and Anders was painfully aware the distance between them was of his making and that he wasn't being fair at all with Hawke. And yet he was too stubborn to do anything else but take another 'step' back even as his inane movements stilled.]

If you aren't going to go, then why don't you tell me why you don't seem to ever pick a side.

That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?

[He levels an even gaze at Anders, letting that sink in on its own. He'd sided with Fereldens against prejudiced Kirkwallers, he'd sided with Kirkwall against the Qunari, and most infamously he'd sided with the mages against what felt like the entire rest of Thedas, so it is a miracle he doesn't just roll his eyes and leave too.

But he doesn't, because for all he finds this ridiculous, he makes the effort to understand, too. He knows how Fenris just crawls under Anders' skin and that the healer isn't actually angry with Adalwolfe.]

Love, we have to live here. I'm trying to be civil.

[It was and it wasn't true, but Anders had never been good about apologizing when he was angry, only after, once the guilt set in.

His jaw clenched and his eyes bore holes into the lab's countertop where they'd settled. He bit his tongue to keep from saying the next thing to spring to mind. 'How well will that go this time?' was a blow too low and too deep to make to someone he loved so much. He couldn't even as the question still rang in his head.]

Wolfe, you're great at keeping the peace, you always have been, but some things just can't be helped.

This isn't one of those things.

[He regards Anders for a moment, trying to judge whether he can close the physical gap between them without getting an elbow in his ribs. A second later has him stepping forward and putting a hand gingerly against Anders' arm.]

You just have to learn how to talk to each other. It's a feat, but not an insurmountable one. I have faith that you can do it.

[Faith. Something Wolfe doesn't have about much of anything save for Anders, and he choose the word carefully.]

[The touch was something Anders expected. They were both more on the tactile side and it brought both of them comfort to be near each other, even when one of them wasn't in the greatest of moods.

What he doesn't expect is that exact phrasing. Wolfe rarely used words lightly and when he was specifically trying to get a particular point across, he could use them as expertly as an artist used brushes.

Hawke had faith in him. Hawke held very little faith in general, it was a difference between them that they'd rarely touch on much. So to know he held what little he had in Anders, who so rarely held any for himself, it meant something.

Anders still didn't have faith in himself nor Fenris nor the idea that they could somehow make this living arrangement work, but Wolfe did and maybe that would be enough for now. It would have to be.

His posture lost some of the tension that had been there before and Anders sighed warily, but his hand came up to cover Hawke's.]

I hear you, love.

[It's a heavy relief when Anders relents. The tension between them has been heavy not just now but about other things as well and it's getting to be more than Wolfe thinks he can take. But with this some of it breaks and he feels much better for it. Anders' hand covers his and he covers it with his other hand in turn, leaning in to press his forehead against his boyfriend's.]

I love you, Anders. Don't think I wouldn't defend you with everything I had, if it came to that again.

[Ashes falling around them, everyone looking at Anders in horror as the Chantry burns. Even him, at first. But the condemnation thrown at Anders just made Wolfe want to fight harder, to stand between them and the healer as a wall. What Anders had done was indeed horrific, but that didn't mean that Wolfe was going to leave his side.

Never.

Not for that, and not for this either, not if it came down to the worst.

He's going to try his damnedest to make sure it doesn't come to that, but he does think that Anders needs to hear once more where his loyalties lie. As if it were ever in doubt.]

[Whatever stubborn wall Anders had erected between them, even with the small touch he'd offered, crumbled like dry clay, unable to stand up to those words, that tone. Hawke was his weakness. A gentle touch, a soft word and Anders was completely at his love's whim.

Especially when he knew his anger was pointless and now only burning the two of them. He didn't want that, Wolfe deserved better. Wolfe had always deserved better than Anders.]

I love you too. I don't deserve you, but I thank the Maker you have the patience for me.

Edited 2017-11-27 22:18 (UTC)

Hush, you deserve the world.

[He leans in and kisses Anders gently, silencing any further protest. They would get through this, he has no doubt, and ideally without destroying the ship in the process. He earnestly believes Anders is capable of that now without Justice inside him. He can be far more reasonable.]

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