driftfleet | voice;

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voice;

Who: Doudanuki & everyboooooody rock your-- wait no
Broadcast: Yes
Action: SS Caprine
When: Oct 9

[Voice to Caprine]
[Well... that was that then. Kai was gone, Ezri Dax was gone, Bones was gone, so now he was the last member of the crew that was around when he first arrived. He'd feared things would come to pass like this, but as soon as he saw that his quarters had moved from his own small bunk to the larger captain's quarters, he had to accept his fate.

And so he sent out a shipwide broadcast.]

...So this is Doudanuki Masakuni and apparently I'm your new captain. [Can you hear the enthusiasm in his voice? It's about as lively as a dead fish] So I'm gonna need a first mate. I don't plan on disappearin' anytime soon, but havin' someone around to help would be... [Well] helpful. Especially 'cause some of you are new.

And in case you're wonderin', I'm not human, so if you got human stuff you need help with, I ain't the one to do it. [a beat] Sorry.

[Voice: OPEN]
[Speeeeaking of.]

For people who knew them, Ezri Dax and Kai Gracen have both returned. Hopefully, they're safe and sorry for the late announcement, but... [Well, a planet was blowing up.

He clears his throat.] Things got busy.

Anyone got any tips on how to be a captain? Especially tips for a non-human who has to take care of a bunch of humans now?

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[Oh. Ezi's left. It's probably a good job he's not on video right now. That's put a rather large dent in his usual solid-Teflon good mood. He LIKED her. ]

...That is a sorry thing to hear. Ezi was a dear friend. I am sure she is happier back home.

[Ugh. He'll go be sad somewhere in private afterwards, for now, he'll focus on this. ]

Check up on them, from time to time. Ask them how they are feeling,and listen to them. Show you care about their feelings and their needs, and mean it.

We can hope. [He hopes it for both of them, even if he's mad they left. He doesn't know why he's mad, but that's the only explanation for this feeling, right? He's pissed they peaced out without saying goodbye?]

She'd probably be sorry she left you all.

[Ezri was a good captain. It's a hard thing to follow.]

But, uh - that whole "feelings" thing is gonna be a problem. I don't want 'em to die - is that close enough?

[Welcome to complex emotions, buddy. Aren't they the best? ]

I have no doubt of that, mon ami. Are you alright?

[Considering. ]

Perhaps get to know them? Find out their interests and participate?

[no

no they are literally the opposite of the best]

'm fine - I'm used to mortals disappearing on me.

[Doesn't mean he doesn't miss them (not that he knows that this is what that emotion is), but he's used to it. Being abandoned is a way of life.]

.......And I guess I can do that. As long as none of them have weird hobbies like poetry or something.

I'm a human but a bunch of non-humans raised me! Eating is very important, so make sure you stock up on good foods.

I am not human either, so you would not need to concern yourself with that in my case.

Are congratulations in order?

[It doesn't sound like congratulations are in order, judging from the new captain's tone.]

[Huh]

What are you, if you don't mind me asking? I'm a tsukumogami.

And don't congratulate me - I only got the job 'cause the other guys disappeared.

What kind of food is good? I usually try to pick up meat when we're in port - and we got a garden in the cargo hold. ...Which I think isn't dead yet. I'm not great at plants.

[talk about deja vu]

I asked much the same question when I became captain, though the human issue didn't factor in much. It may depend on if there are any similarities between you and the humans in question. For example, my kind don't need to eat, so for some it might be easy to forget that humans need food to survive. But I was raised with a human, so I'm used to eating... as such, it was never a problem.

[hmmmm.]

Take care of your crew, is the general advice I was given. Make sure you get to know them and find out what their individual needs are. Support them and understand that any decision you make should be with their best interests in mind.

[Ah, he knows that voice. It's the guy who helped with that crazy bird creature all those planets ago.]

Looks like some of my crew ain't human either, so that'll make it easy at least. It's the human ones I gotta worry about. Food - I got covered. These human bodies we're given have to eat and sleep, so I understand that... I think.

[Basically? He can't exactly starve to death though, so that's a problem he has to make sure doesn't happen to his crew. And they can't eat metal. He knows that. He thinks.]

But does this mean I can't go punchin' all the Atroma people in the face anymore?

Meat's good, but fresh fruit and vegetables are important too. If you need help with the garden, I can come by and look at it! I've got an augment thing that helps plants grow.

Do you not have to eat when you're in your human body?

I did some fieldwork back at the Citadel, but some of these things I've never seen before. One of them is blue?

[Blue, Sorey. There's a blue spiky fruit on his ship. Wtf is human food.]

So sure, if you can come take a look, that'd be helpful. No one else seems to know what to do.

And I have to eat in this body, but I can't exactly die from not eating either. It's more like it's a luxury and when I don't do it, this body hurts but can't die. [right away]

I am a spirit, specifically a spirit of justice. I cannot say that I am familiar with tsukumogami.

[Justice makes a noise of understanding.] I see. I did not know them. [Should he be sorry that they're gone? Doesn't leaving mean they go home? He doesn't know if it's right to regret their disappearance if they are going back where they belong, but he does recognize that it would be difficult for those they left behind.]

[new buddy........please eat]

Okay. Um, yeah, I'll be right over. And hey, maybe I can teach you what you have, so you know! You could taste test them! [and eat]

[...wat.

How can anyone be the spirit of a concept?]

Can't say I'm familiar with what you are either so we're in the same boat.

Tsukumogami are spirits that come to live in objects after a hundred years or so, and then we become the souls of those objects. Me, I got manifested into a human body to fight a war against other corrupted sword spirits and the army that's usin' 'em. What about you?

[And he's...just not going to touch on Ezri and Kai's disappearance anymore; not with this guy. He didn't know them and so that means Doudanuki doesn't have to awkwardly find words of condolences. Instead, he can focus on the more interesting aspect of not being the only non-human/mortal on board.]

[you're not his mother - he never had a mother. stop being his mother!!!!]

Yeah, sure. I'll keep the airlocks ready to receive a shuttle.

Most of 'em I understand - things like mikan and lemons. But that blue thing...

[Spirit of an object? How does that work? Does that mean it possessed an object a long time ago and forgot what its virtue was? Justice has heard that can happen.]

I cannot say that I have ever heard of a sword spirit before, but I have heard of spirits who become trapped in inanimate objects. It is not an enviable fate, as I understand it. How were you given your own body?

[Justice is getting better at explaining what he is. Many people need a primer.] Spirits like myself dwell in the Fade, where mortals go to dream and pass through in death. Most of us avoid the mortal realm, and we all have our virtue to which we aspire. [Guess what his is. Just guess.] I arrived in the mortal world only when a demon of pride's careless blood magic pushed me through the Veil, and I was trapped in a mortal's corpse.

[....gross. Dude, you're in a corpse. That can't be sanitary.]

My Saniwa - they're like sages, I guess. There are a lot of them and they're all fightin' for the time government to stop the war, so they give parts of their power to pull our spirits out of our vessels and give us a human form. Where I'm from, there are a lot of different spirits - youkai, demons, tsukumogami, nature spirits, and a lot more. I'm just one of 'em.

[That said, it's interesting to hear about how spirits work wherever this guy is from. The Fade sounds like the underworld except for the dream part, and demons? Interesting indeed.]

But now you're still trapped, huh? Is that how they got you here even though you don't have a physical body?

[ This sure is a thing. There's so many things Lothar could ask right now about everything that's been said, but he'll just settle for the blatantly obvious one.]

If you're not human then what are you?

[New voice and new person, huh?]

Tsukumogami. [A beat] I'm a spirit that lives within an object, which in my case is a Japanese katana. Normally, I won't have a human body, but my Saniwa manifested my spirit out of my sword and into this one so here I am. One sword, two bodies.

[ ... Well then. ]

I'm new. And I'm also not human. But I know humans well enough. They'll be fine. I wouldn't worry about it that much.

[ If shrugs were audible... ]

Do you have any qualifications you want for first mate? I may be new, but I guess I'm interested.

[EMBRACE THEM, friend. ]

That is the downfall of immortality, no?

[He doesn't want that, he absolutely wants to be mortal again, please and thank you. ]

...Poetry. Well, it is not so terrible, poetry. But perhaps you will find one of them who would like to spar with you. Wouldn't that be fun?

I don't know anything about being a captain, because being in charge is more of a hassle than I really want to deal with. But you don't have to be human or a captain to take care of them.

[And Edna does make sure that her humans are well cared for.]

Just make sure they have food and at least acknowledge their concerns, no matter if you think they're stupid or not.

[Can he embrace them as he suplexes them to the floor?]

Mm, yeah, but you get used to it. [Or rather] Objects like me get used to it. I guess humans might not ever really get over it.

[The mentions of sparring, however, perks him up almost immediately.]

You think? So far everyone I've asked has just told me "someday," or they're human and I can't spar a human all out like I could with another sword or non-human. You guys are too easy to break.

[Another new face - is that what the Caprine is comprised of now? New faces and, well, apparently mostly non-humans.]

Huh. Looks like we outnumber the humans now.

[But he still has to worry about them!!! No dying, humans. That's bad.]

But for first mate? I guess someone who ain't gonna blow up the ship or let the crew die. Good at takin' and givin' orders, willing and ready to fight for the ship if need be. We never had "first mates" when we organized squads actually so I dunno.

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