Edwin Jarvis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
edwinjarvis) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2017-11-17 10:10 pm
edwinjarvis) wrote in driftfleet2017-11-17 10:10 pm
Video. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOU
Who: Edwin Jarvis and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Tourist, or visit him at The Melting Pot if you'd like, aboard the Iskaulit!
When: After they leave the spooky cannibal planet.
[It has been... the longest few months in his entire life, or maybe competes with the top months. The prior month particularly, and that's not even counting being stranded on a planet full of cannibals. Regardless, Jarvis has been kind of... working on keeping things together. It does nobody any good if he openly mopes or worries -- he has The Melting Pot to tend to, better stocked now since Lyuku. He tries not to seem too distracted there. And The Tourist will, of course, continue to have its routine offered breakfasts and dinners...! He's not one to give in on his usual duties just because something's dampening his spirits.
One morning, he finds a crate in the Tourist's cargo bay, and dreads the fact that his name is written on the shipping label. The last time he'd actually opened one of these, it had been... flamingos. Plastic flamingos that inadvertently turned into a galactic fashion statement. He will not make the same mistake again...!!! He shows up on his feed, hand on his hip, looking displeased.]
I don't know if you've noticed, but...!! There's a rather large box here for me in the cargo bay. When have these ever been a good thing, I implore you to inform me? I've learned quite a number of things through life here. One -- don't fiddle with your augment implant. Two -- people can apparently survive being asleep for ungodly periods of time, and three -- do not trust anything the Atroma send you! I'm not falling for it aga--
[There's a sudden explosion of confetti, the walls of the crate falling open as Jarvis yelps in a high and rather unflattering timbre, and behind him stands a cake nearly his height -- with HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY in huge letters, as well as a banner that subtitles: sorry about being trapped on a cannibal planet. Jarvis leaps back to standing upright, adjusting his riled tie and crooked reading glasses -- and looking alarmed. And covered in confetti.]
... Dear god no.
[NO NOT HIS BIRTHDAY]
That--
That is the most hazardous and ugliest cake I've ever seen in my life!!
[Oh, come on, Jarvis, it's not that--
Ohmyword.]
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Tourist, or visit him at The Melting Pot if you'd like, aboard the Iskaulit!
When: After they leave the spooky cannibal planet.
[It has been... the longest few months in his entire life, or maybe competes with the top months. The prior month particularly, and that's not even counting being stranded on a planet full of cannibals. Regardless, Jarvis has been kind of... working on keeping things together. It does nobody any good if he openly mopes or worries -- he has The Melting Pot to tend to, better stocked now since Lyuku. He tries not to seem too distracted there. And The Tourist will, of course, continue to have its routine offered breakfasts and dinners...! He's not one to give in on his usual duties just because something's dampening his spirits.
One morning, he finds a crate in the Tourist's cargo bay, and dreads the fact that his name is written on the shipping label. The last time he'd actually opened one of these, it had been... flamingos. Plastic flamingos that inadvertently turned into a galactic fashion statement. He will not make the same mistake again...!!! He shows up on his feed, hand on his hip, looking displeased.]
I don't know if you've noticed, but...!! There's a rather large box here for me in the cargo bay. When have these ever been a good thing, I implore you to inform me? I've learned quite a number of things through life here. One -- don't fiddle with your augment implant. Two -- people can apparently survive being asleep for ungodly periods of time, and three -- do not trust anything the Atroma send you! I'm not falling for it aga--
[There's a sudden explosion of confetti, the walls of the crate falling open as Jarvis yelps in a high and rather unflattering timbre, and behind him stands a cake nearly his height -- with HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY in huge letters, as well as a banner that subtitles: sorry about being trapped on a cannibal planet. Jarvis leaps back to standing upright, adjusting his riled tie and crooked reading glasses -- and looking alarmed. And covered in confetti.]
... Dear god no.
[NO NOT HIS BIRTHDAY]
That--
That is the most hazardous and ugliest cake I've ever seen in my life!!
[Oh, come on, Jarvis, it's not that--
Ohmyword.]
Action
...I honestly don't know why I'm even surprised any more.
Action
He pats some confetti off his shoulder, frowning deeply.]
They're probably so very proud of themselves.
Action
Probably. At least they're acknowledging they essentially left us on a cannibal planet to die.
...Happy birthday.
Action
[He looks at the demon cake.]
... Would you like a piece?
no subject
...I am not entirely sure if it's actually edible.
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[THIS IS A LOT OF RARE AND VALUABLE CAKE TO PASS UP THOUGH...]
... Do we have proper equipment to test its -- safeness?
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[He crosses his arms. JUDGING!!!]
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What? It seems like a solid idea to me.
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If you have to, fisticuffs will do just fine.
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If you insist. Takes all the fun out of it, though.
no subject
I haven't met anyone aboard the fleet who needs magical stabbing.
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You know, Mr. Fenris, it's entirely possible to go about life on the fleet in a much more peaceful and meditative manner. Have you ever considered yoga? I've heard it's very soothing for the mind.
no subject
...But no, I have not. Isn't that the thing they do on Earth with the strange stretches?
no subject
Also, it's wonderful for the body.
Perhaps you should give it a try.
no subject
[It might help with all his... him-ness, who knows. ]
Though I suppose it would not hurt to try it.
no subject
[He gives him a big, beaming smile, standing tall.]
I'll do it with you.
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