Edwin Jarvis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
edwinjarvis) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2017-11-17 10:10 pm
edwinjarvis) wrote in driftfleet2017-11-17 10:10 pm
Video. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOU
Who: Edwin Jarvis and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Tourist, or visit him at The Melting Pot if you'd like, aboard the Iskaulit!
When: After they leave the spooky cannibal planet.
[It has been... the longest few months in his entire life, or maybe competes with the top months. The prior month particularly, and that's not even counting being stranded on a planet full of cannibals. Regardless, Jarvis has been kind of... working on keeping things together. It does nobody any good if he openly mopes or worries -- he has The Melting Pot to tend to, better stocked now since Lyuku. He tries not to seem too distracted there. And The Tourist will, of course, continue to have its routine offered breakfasts and dinners...! He's not one to give in on his usual duties just because something's dampening his spirits.
One morning, he finds a crate in the Tourist's cargo bay, and dreads the fact that his name is written on the shipping label. The last time he'd actually opened one of these, it had been... flamingos. Plastic flamingos that inadvertently turned into a galactic fashion statement. He will not make the same mistake again...!!! He shows up on his feed, hand on his hip, looking displeased.]
I don't know if you've noticed, but...!! There's a rather large box here for me in the cargo bay. When have these ever been a good thing, I implore you to inform me? I've learned quite a number of things through life here. One -- don't fiddle with your augment implant. Two -- people can apparently survive being asleep for ungodly periods of time, and three -- do not trust anything the Atroma send you! I'm not falling for it aga--
[There's a sudden explosion of confetti, the walls of the crate falling open as Jarvis yelps in a high and rather unflattering timbre, and behind him stands a cake nearly his height -- with HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY in huge letters, as well as a banner that subtitles: sorry about being trapped on a cannibal planet. Jarvis leaps back to standing upright, adjusting his riled tie and crooked reading glasses -- and looking alarmed. And covered in confetti.]
... Dear god no.
[NO NOT HIS BIRTHDAY]
That--
That is the most hazardous and ugliest cake I've ever seen in my life!!
[Oh, come on, Jarvis, it's not that--
Ohmyword.]
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Tourist, or visit him at The Melting Pot if you'd like, aboard the Iskaulit!
When: After they leave the spooky cannibal planet.
[It has been... the longest few months in his entire life, or maybe competes with the top months. The prior month particularly, and that's not even counting being stranded on a planet full of cannibals. Regardless, Jarvis has been kind of... working on keeping things together. It does nobody any good if he openly mopes or worries -- he has The Melting Pot to tend to, better stocked now since Lyuku. He tries not to seem too distracted there. And The Tourist will, of course, continue to have its routine offered breakfasts and dinners...! He's not one to give in on his usual duties just because something's dampening his spirits.
One morning, he finds a crate in the Tourist's cargo bay, and dreads the fact that his name is written on the shipping label. The last time he'd actually opened one of these, it had been... flamingos. Plastic flamingos that inadvertently turned into a galactic fashion statement. He will not make the same mistake again...!!! He shows up on his feed, hand on his hip, looking displeased.]
I don't know if you've noticed, but...!! There's a rather large box here for me in the cargo bay. When have these ever been a good thing, I implore you to inform me? I've learned quite a number of things through life here. One -- don't fiddle with your augment implant. Two -- people can apparently survive being asleep for ungodly periods of time, and three -- do not trust anything the Atroma send you! I'm not falling for it aga--
[There's a sudden explosion of confetti, the walls of the crate falling open as Jarvis yelps in a high and rather unflattering timbre, and behind him stands a cake nearly his height -- with HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY in huge letters, as well as a banner that subtitles: sorry about being trapped on a cannibal planet. Jarvis leaps back to standing upright, adjusting his riled tie and crooked reading glasses -- and looking alarmed. And covered in confetti.]
... Dear god no.
[NO NOT HIS BIRTHDAY]
That--
That is the most hazardous and ugliest cake I've ever seen in my life!!
[Oh, come on, Jarvis, it's not that--
Ohmyword.]
video!
I'm impressed that it's still standing. I would be wary of eating it though, considering where we just were.
[No matter the context, 'cannibal' is not a word you want to find anywhere near a birthday cake.]
video!
[Science is a magical thing.]
After all, we don't want to waste this much food, either.
Re: video!
video!
Re: video!
[Especially after the last month on the murder planet.]
I suppose I should wish you a happy name day, too. How many summers is this?
video!
[JARVIS JUST SAY YOU'RE 40 BUDDY, NO SHAME IN 40, IT'S LIVING.]
But thank you very much for the kind wishes. Feel free to come by and get yourself a piece; I'll be about the Tourist for the next few hours.