just a quick but important broadcast

[throwsdown]

Who: Takeshi and you!
Broadcast: everyone
Action: Goldstone if wanted
When: RIGHT AT MIDNIGHT, RIGHT INTO 2018.



[3.... 2.... 1....]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CROWLEY!!!

[BLOWS KAZOOS AND POPS POPPERS]

Comments

[pain_train]

Oh, okay! So when is your birthday, and what do you want if you don't like stabby unicorns?

[onlyanapple]

I don't have one, on account of the fact I was never born.

I don't want anything. Unless it's booze- and then only with the stipulation that it's not a birthday gift.

[pain_train]

You know, AI get birthdays too, and they don't technically get born either. Like a creation day kind of thing.

Well shit I mean I'm always happy to give people booze.

[onlyanapple]

My creation day doesn't exist either. I was created before time existed, so-

...I will accept booze as long as there's no birthday paraphernalia attached.

[pain_train]

I don't understand what that means, so okay.

Are you just super allergic to birthday stuff? Are you having a hurfdurf problem?

[onlyanapple]

Pretty much what it says on the tin.

I don't want any birthday stuff because it's not my birthday.

[pain_train]

It's words. They don't come in a tin?

[She laughs.] Man, I didn't think you were like... super pedantic. [She knows that word because she was friends with Delta, okay.] But you know, your friends are gonna jump at a day to celebrate you being around.

[onlyanapple]

They might.

[He lets out a long suffering sigh. ]

No, don't you try and get to me with the whole...emotional blackmail thing. That isn't fair.

[pain_train]

...that's not emotional blackmail! That's just like... the truth! People like you, so we want to celebrate the whole... you existing thing!

[onlyanapple]

I'm calling it emotional blackmail. It's a purposeful attempt to pull at my heartstrings to get me to agree to this.

Which I don't have. Heartstrings.

[He does, and consider them pulled. ]

But fine, whatever. Just no singing.

[pain_train]

No it's not. I'm just being logical. Like Delta taught me how. It's not my fault that I've come up with an argument you can't refute. [Haha, she used another big word! So proud of herself right now.]

I mean, that's probably for the best because if you had strings, they could get all tangled or frayed or stuff.

[Sigh.]

Fine, no singing. But you get a stabbycorn. And cake.

[onlyanapple]

[The name Delta gains a rather unfortunate reaction from Crowley. The demon visibly winces.]

Not a Delta related to a guy named York by any chance?

[Please no. ]

Fine. Deal. That's settled.

[pain_train]

[Huh, well that's weird.]

Oh, you know them? I mean... I knew them back home. And yeah, Delta hung out with York a lot, but then I think they had some kind of weird argument because York was like kind of fucking Malcolm and then Delta moved in with his two boyfriends, Foxtrot and... um... Loki, I think. Yeah.

Wow, if he was here, I'm really sorry I missed him. He was one of my best friends after I retired. Other than Maine. But like he'd go to art shows with me and Maine wouldn't, because he had a really bad case of hurfdurf.

Small... uh. Multiple universes I guess.

[onlyanapple]

I knew him back in Paradisa. Or...a version of him, I guess. I don't recall any relationship drama, but I admit I didn't get involved in stuff like that.

[Mostly because he accidentally murdered York and they were salty over it for years later which is completely understandable. He shakes his head. ]

They've never been here though. So you didn't miss them.

[pain_train]

I don't think they were from there? Like they never mentioned it. So I guess... different people?

[That's... kind of a relief? Yeah, a relief.]

Oh good.

[onlyanapple]

Sounds about right. Messed up memories, jumping around the timestream. Stuff like that.

Probably for the best.

[pain_train]

It's all really confusing. [Not that confusing her is that hard to do, honestly.] How are there so many weird planet world things? It's super weird.

[onlyanapple]

Because weird is entertaining and Atroma are all about being entertaining.

[pain_train]

Weird isn't entertaining. It's just weird. Explosions are entertaining.

[onlyanapple]

Well, yes, but explosions get a little samey after a while. Weird? That's unpredictable. Everyone is going to tune in if they can't guess what happens next.