driftfleet | 003 | hot as hell

Entry tags:

003 | hot as hell

Who: Chuuya Nakahara
Broadcast: Video
Action: Twin Roses
When: Today

[On screen is an overheated red head. He would usually be dressed in layers and a hat, but is without hat and down to single layers of clothing. Thankfully he is back in the comfort of his own ship, and taking the time to relax and cool down.]

Philias. A planet that is less of a planet, and more like an actual living hell.

I don't know why I thought Philias would be a good idea, but it... isn't. Not in the least. I'd do anything if it meant never getting back on a planet like that ever again. I'm not kidding - surely someone out there has done something wild, especially for ratings. I'd even go back to the planet that hated hearing people swear.

[He lights a cigarette before he continues-]

What kind of crazy stuff have you done for ratings? Because I'd probably do it over visiting Philias.

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Of course I did! I don't do worthless jobs!

[This was a good chance for him to go from being annoyed to... bragging!]

I always take work very seriously, even if it's on an unfortunate planet!

Yeah? What kind of work did you end up taking?

[Was it killing? It had better not been killing. Vash really hopes there was no killing involved.]

It wasn't killing if that's what you're thinking!

[Still doesn't answer the question though. He thinks he's so smooth!]

No! I wasn't thinking that! [He was hoping it wasn't killing. Not thinking it was! Loop holes!] So what were you doing? Collecting dirt?

Things people like you wouldn't understand!

[He crosses his arms.]

Don't worry about it!

Ha! You were taking sand samples weren't you!?

[Vash, why. It's hard to hate him sometimes.]

How did you know? And here I tried to avoid getting lectured by you.

Wait. Really? You were collecting sand? Because I can tell you there are a lot better ways to get ratings then appealing to ant farmers.

Hah?!

[Chuuya grumbles!]

You know what? Nevermind! Forget I said anything!

I know! Wax your legs! I bet your fans would give you lots of ratings for that!

No?! I'm not doing that! How about you wax your legs!

I'm not the one trying to get ratings! I'm happy with whatever ratings I may have!

OH! Shave your head! I'm sure they'd love to see the tears you shed over your lost locks!

Or you may lose what little fans you have. You probably shouldn't do that. Or at least keep wearing your hat. It has more fans than you do, but luckily I think the show counts it's fans as yours.

Don't be ridiculous! I would never shave my head, not in a million years!

[He holds onto his hat.]

And maybe you're right! My hat might have more fans than I do. It's that great of a hat! I would never be angry about that!

OH! Try a hostage technique! You need to get a big sponsor drop of wine by some date or you'll throw the hat away!

[He...

No.

He must not actually consider this. Not even if it has to do with wine.

His response is delayed damn it Vash.]

I refuse! As interesting as that may be, I refuse!

Aw! I'm sure your hat thanks you for your loyalty to it!

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