i'm a space cowboy, bet you weren't ready for that

[straightouttacarbonite]

Who: Han Solo + anyone on the Caprine
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Also yes
When: right before/after the 2/10 Shuffle

[ It's just about Han's luck that he, uh. Oversleeps.

That is to say, he wakes up on the Marsiva and has barely enough time to get his bearings-- to find his blaster missing and sidle over to the wide windows in the viewing bay to stare out at the unfamiliar stars-- before--

Okay, he actually has no idea before what. What happens. One minute he is quietly, definitely not panicking about the fact that he has no idea where he is, and then he's somewhere else with less idea of where he is, and confetti.

It takes him a few minutes more to catch up and (sort of) figure out the communicator, and by the time he actually tries to reach out, he looks visibly harried. ]

Okay, look, I really don't have time for whatever this is... And where is my ship?!

[ Because that is definitely the most. important. question. of all! ]

Comments

video }

[straightouttacarbonite]

That's a pretty neat trick.

[ He still doesn't really get how it works. Was he drugged? Wouldn't he notice being drugged? ]

video }

[supertardiness]

Tell me about it.

[It's not fun. Barry isn't really sure how they got the jump on him either.]

But unfortunately it's true. And we're not really sure how to find the way back to our own universes.

video }

[straightouttacarbonite]

I mean. It's probably better than some potential places I could be in my own universe.

[ silver linings: Han is not great at them ]

video }

[supertardiness]

[He laughs.]

I mean ... maybe you're right. I don't know anything about your universe. But we recently had a run in with a cannibal planet so ... don't count your chickens before they hatch.

video }

[straightouttacarbonite]

Yeah, yeah. Trust me, I'm not exactly taking this in stride.

[ Just falling back on aggressive bravado and sarcasm, so it kind of seems that way. ]

video }

[supertardiness]

Uh-huh.

[He sighs.]

The Atroma do send people back sometimes. But it's usually on their timetable, not ours.

video }

[straightouttacarbonite]

Can you talk to them? Bargain with them?

It seems like people don't know so much about them, except that they're to blame for all this.

video }

[supertardiness]

Yeah, well, they're not big on making appearances. There are these "hosts" that show up every once in a while, but Atroma keeps a pretty close eye on them, and pretty much considers them expendable.

[Literally.]

video }

[straightouttacarbonite]

Okay, so we are dealing with a crime syndicate here.

[ He honestly doesn't get how other people aren't thinking of it in those terms. It just means you have to find a rival syndicate and double cross them. Or cut a deal. Or something. There's potential there! ]

video }

[supertardiness]

I think they'd prefer to be called a reality show.

[Which ... I mean, they're probably the same thing. More or less.]

video }

[straightouttacarbonite]

Hey, it's not my crime syndicate. They can call it whatever they like.

video }

[supertardiness]

[He laughs.]

No, I really mean it's a reality show. We're being broadcast to ... someone, right now. I'm not sure who the viewing audience is, but it can be a generous one.

video }

[straightouttacarbonite]

I gotta tell you, I don't really get what that means.

But never mind, who's generous?

[ Generous sounds promising. ]

video }

[supertardiness]

A reality show is when a bunch of people get shoved together and stuff happens to them. Some people consider it entertaining, I don't but now I'm in one. Yay.

[A beat.]

But basically if the viewers like what you do on the "show" they'll reward you with credits.

video }

[straightouttacarbonite]

...Strange people we've never met are gonna pay us to do stuff while we're stuck on these ships.

Okay. Sure. I can work with that, probably.

video }

[supertardiness]

I'm not sure who's actually watching? But I know they send us bonuses and stuff sometimes.

It's entirely possible that it's all a dramatic ruse and we're being played but ... there's no way to tell one way or another.

Re: video }

[straightouttacarbonite]

Well, results are results, right?

[ If he can turn it to his advantage it's worth knowing about. ]

Thanks for the rundown.

video }

[supertardiness]

No problem. I'm Barry Allen, by the way. Feel free to reach out if you have any other questions.

video }

[straightouttacarbonite]

Han Solo. Thanks, I will.

video }

[supertardiness]

Cool.

[And with a small salute, that is Barry, out. Somewhere, in a meta universe far far away, a speedster is probably freaking out that he got to meet Han Solo. /scene]