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[Video] [Public Feed] [Because why Wouldn't Tyrion put this out there for everyone?]

[Tyrion is behind the bar of the Malun, hands folded over his ledger as he gives the camera a deep and pensive look, before he flashes a bright smile, mischief twinkling in his mis-matched eyes.]

So let me ask you something, fellow Fleeters. How precisely does one go about finding a 'lady friend' for entertainment outside of one's ship? I have been told by no less than three friends that I should have female companionship and yet I have no idea if anyone is interested or in fact, would ever be interested. I believe in your more modern parlances you have the joy of choice over your partners, something I have always envied. So how does a man, who looks like myself, find someone who wants to spend time with him in a romantic fashion without promising money and or a noble title?

[He folds his small hands around his bearded face, leaning forward.] I am listening. Intently.

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You could start, perhaps, by talking to your wife.

[....Ah. Hahahah. Haaahahah. Whoops.

He clears his throat.]

I was not trying to be -

Wait.

[He is now giving her an odd look, somewhere between embarrassment and confusion.]

... why do you care?

Because I am your wife, Tyrion, and you’re here making a mockery of my attempts to have a relationship with you!

Why did you think I invited you to tea?

[And now, we shall take a moment for Tyrion Lannister to be speechless. Utterly Speechless.

What came out afterwards was more of a croak than his usual smooth tones.]

... that you wanted us to be friends?

I thought Lannisters were meant to be clever.

You may resume your search for a woman without me or our marriage impeding your progress. I would hardly want to be an obstacle to overcome.

Apparently not as clever as we would like ...

Wait! Waaaait. [Tyrion put both of his hands up.] Before I make a bigger mess of my second marriage than I did my first ... what can I do to make up for my foolish ignorance?

( Sansa barely refrains from rolling her eyes. She's angry enough that two bright patches have appeared on her cheeks and she hates feeling out of control. Control is all she has now. )

You could start by not cuckolding me in public. How do you think that made me feel, Tyrion?

Done.

[Said promptly and swiftly.]

... well, all things considered, I imagine it made you feel a fool and used besides. [He has more than a little experience with that.] I assure you, I did not realize that your gesture was romantic in nature. I must, ah, warn you. Age is ... of great importance to the people in this time. As much as I would like to go after a romantic dalliance, the last time we met, you were all but fourteen.

I am nineteen, Tyrion Lannister, and more than capable of making my own decisions. I also don't appreciate being referred to as a dalliance when I am your wife in name if nothing else.

( Sansa's brow furrows and her expression is pinched; she's very uncomfortable with this whole situation. )

I still have honor and dignity.

[Something to the spark of relief came over his face, before he cleared his throat.]

I seem to be a clumsy oaf today with my words. I apologize, Sansa. You have more honor and dignity than I would ever hope to reach. I simply ...

[A sucked in breath.]

May I send you a more formal and appropriate apology?

You may send anything you like. I'll need some time to myself, if it please you.

At this moment, I am more interested in pleasing you ... so please, take all the time you require.

I'm going to retire to my rooms now. I have needlework that needs attention.

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