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[Video] [Public Feed] [Because why Wouldn't Tyrion put this out there for everyone?]

[Tyrion is behind the bar of the Malun, hands folded over his ledger as he gives the camera a deep and pensive look, before he flashes a bright smile, mischief twinkling in his mis-matched eyes.]

So let me ask you something, fellow Fleeters. How precisely does one go about finding a 'lady friend' for entertainment outside of one's ship? I have been told by no less than three friends that I should have female companionship and yet I have no idea if anyone is interested or in fact, would ever be interested. I believe in your more modern parlances you have the joy of choice over your partners, something I have always envied. So how does a man, who looks like myself, find someone who wants to spend time with him in a romantic fashion without promising money and or a noble title?

[He folds his small hands around his bearded face, leaning forward.] I am listening. Intently.

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[-oh. Oh! Oh dear...]

DUDE! Your wife is here and your saying stuff like this?!

...I think you should stop drinking for the evening. Dinner will just be the start of the apology. [He can't even see Sansa's response and is saying this.]

Edited 2018-03-01 22:53 (UTC)

It is not like that!

Well it is like that but there are more details involved than my being married. It was an arranged marriage. I did not think she was emotionally ... willing to be involved with me in an actual relationship.

... you are correct, dinner and flowers.

Ooh. Yeah. Arranged marriages can be a bit tricky. Better bring chocolate as well. Girls love chocolate.

[Vash takes a moment to make this part a bit more private.]

[Private]

Do you wish to be in a relationship with her? [Vash is guessing he does considering the way Tyrion acted when he found out his wife was listening.]

I am not sure if it is chocolate.

Private

In some sense I always have wanted to - originally it was not appropriate at all and then I was accused of murder and she was taken by Littlefinger to marry someone else ...

[He should address that serious thing of murder and being taken away, but no- Vash is stuck on something else.]

Littlefinger? [Your brother's name is Knives and that's not even the worst name from your world.] Is that really his name? Because that's an unfortunate name if it is.

... I did not name him. He's had that one since childhood, when he was only slightly taller than I am now.

Then it sounds like he didn't have very loving parents. Unless that's a common name where you're from.

...actually I think his parents were fairly loving, all things considered. His friends were a bit shite.

Oh, a nickname then? That's a bit better I guess.

Either way. Yeesh. That doesn't sound very good for her no matter what his name is. Better jump right to the big guns for apologies then. Chocolate covered donuts. No one can say no to those!

Oh! Yes, my apologies. It was his moniker, not his actual name. His parents named him Petyr, his given name was Baelish. Bannermen of the Tullys.

Yeah, that sounds more like a name than a description. And when you tack the title on the end too it gets pretty long! [And here he is with only one name.] I can see why you call him just Little Finger. Much shorter.

Littlefinger, one word. He was called that because he is such a short, slight man.

[Tyrion snorts.]

I would have stuck to calling him Baelish if he did not constantly call me Imp..

That seems fair. If he didn't feel the need to not address you by a derogatory name then I don't see why you couldn't do the same.

I'm sorry you're from a world who puts so much value on looks. Where I'm from? Not many would even bat an eye over how you look. [Tyrion wouldn't exactly be "normal" in terms of looks, but he was in no way close to being considered ugly by Gunsmoke's standards.] But it seems like your own wife has proven you wrong in your own argument.

We are the creatures the people around us make us into. Littlefinger and I make each other little shits.

[A shrug.] It is what it always has been. [A faint snort, and a laugh.] ... yes I rather suppose she has - although she did not originally find me to be attractive at all.

Well, I suppose if I was forced to marry even the most attractive person in the world I would find them pretty unattractive at the start too.

[...]

No, that's a lie. If I was forced to marry a super attractive woman then I'd be perfectly fine with that. Sorry there, buddy.

.... yes that is quite so.

But you can't blame me for being honest about that right?

I cannot blame you at all. I would do the same - have done the same. [Amusement there, nice and broad.]

Have you, now? You're wife is that attractive then? [Vash whistles long and slowly.] You better start with the making up to and apologizing to her right away! Otherwise some other guy might change her mind!

She is really that attractive. [Unbelievably beautiful...] You are absolutely right on that.

Well, I hope you can make amends quickly.

Don't forget the chocolate covered donuts the next time you see her, okay?

As do I ... do chocolate covered donuts really work in these circumstances?

Trust me. Chocolate covered donuts work in all circumstances. Especially this kind!

[NEVER LISTEN TO VASH ABOUT DATING ADVICE! RUN!]

...well, very well, I shall find some chocolate covered donuts.

[Well apparently Tyrion is.]

Great! A sincere apology and chocolate covered donuts! You can't go wrong! I'll still wish you good luck just to add to it!

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